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Shaping Matter With Ones' Own Hands
6 years ago
Have you ever heard some music that just inspired you? It hit a nerve, whether good or bad? It made you cry, thinking of someone, or something, that pained you?
I can't explain why, but even though I've been listening to the band, "Smash Into Pieces," casually on YouTube for a few months now...and two of their songs I've listened to have only just begun to sink beneath my skin.
The first is: Smash Into Pieces - Save It for the Living
It hits home, thinking about all the times my old man used to only care about what became of Mom, myself, my Sister and Cousin...those of us he directly loved and cared for-no one else really mattered. While I still grieve here and there, with spouts of random dreams or thoughts that make my heart strings twist and give...I know it to be true, he wouldn't want us to mourn him continuously, he would want us to move on and live our lives, succeeding.
The other day I was cleaning out my phone messages, and I came upon one from my Dad. He said only a few words...
"Hey bud, just calling to check in. How's the streaming going? Give me a call back soon. Love you, kiddo."
I haven't even really thought about my streaming all that much these last seven months...but it was what I enjoyed most, and it was the job I wanted to make for myself. That's when another piece of music strung another nerve...
Smash Into Pieces - Boomerang
A close friend, and the girl I loved, abandoned me because of my grief...stating I was using it as a means of earning pity from people-why would I ever need that if I was doing good before my family tragedy?
So like a boomerang, wanting to make my old man proud, I will now come "Back Back Back like a boomerang." I am going to shape my life the way I want to shape it. Each weekday, I am helping my Mother out with our new place of residence, cleaning, organizing, moving the heavy stuff, all whilst working on myself...getting into shape, fixing any and all mistakes I've made in my life...it's not easy, nothing of this caliber is ever easy...but I am determined to get out there.
I will start to stream on Twitch again more often, to entertain and smile, to bring laughs to those who need it most...
My life is in my hands.
I can't explain why, but even though I've been listening to the band, "Smash Into Pieces," casually on YouTube for a few months now...and two of their songs I've listened to have only just begun to sink beneath my skin.
The first is: Smash Into Pieces - Save It for the Living
It hits home, thinking about all the times my old man used to only care about what became of Mom, myself, my Sister and Cousin...those of us he directly loved and cared for-no one else really mattered. While I still grieve here and there, with spouts of random dreams or thoughts that make my heart strings twist and give...I know it to be true, he wouldn't want us to mourn him continuously, he would want us to move on and live our lives, succeeding.
The other day I was cleaning out my phone messages, and I came upon one from my Dad. He said only a few words...
"Hey bud, just calling to check in. How's the streaming going? Give me a call back soon. Love you, kiddo."
I haven't even really thought about my streaming all that much these last seven months...but it was what I enjoyed most, and it was the job I wanted to make for myself. That's when another piece of music strung another nerve...
Smash Into Pieces - Boomerang
A close friend, and the girl I loved, abandoned me because of my grief...stating I was using it as a means of earning pity from people-why would I ever need that if I was doing good before my family tragedy?
So like a boomerang, wanting to make my old man proud, I will now come "Back Back Back like a boomerang." I am going to shape my life the way I want to shape it. Each weekday, I am helping my Mother out with our new place of residence, cleaning, organizing, moving the heavy stuff, all whilst working on myself...getting into shape, fixing any and all mistakes I've made in my life...it's not easy, nothing of this caliber is ever easy...but I am determined to get out there.
I will start to stream on Twitch again more often, to entertain and smile, to bring laughs to those who need it most...
My life is in my hands.
