My birthday was in February. A really good friend from work died unexpected on my birthday. He had a heart attack on the way to work, it was 4 days before his 30th birthday. I talked with this guy non stop at work, he was honestly one of the most supportive, understanding people ever.

The strange part is I feel like I haven't had time to accept it or something. I'm the type of person that tries to be really strong for my other friends and think about them and how they are feeling in these situations. As much as I miss Xeng there isn't anything I can do for him now, so I just try to take care of our friends. But because of that I feel like I never really got particularly sad. Sure, I cried like a baby a few times at the funeral, but other than that... it hasn't been a lot...and I dunno I feel guilty about it somehow.