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The 2010s in Review~
5 years ago
WE INTERRUPT THIS YIFFING WITH A WORD FROM OUR FOX
So this decade was... a special one. For the sheer fact that it is the first one that I will ever remember in its entirety comprehensively. Because oh I dunno... the 2000s started when I had just turned 3? So yeah... I would just like to take a moment to reflect upon quite the tumultuous group of cycles around the sun? Yeah? This ought to make up for the lack of any journals lately, right? Maybe? Heh. I just cannot believe... that the time has come to do something like this. 3,652 days... Goes so fast huh? To think it will only continue to accelerate more and more is unfathomably scary... But... such is life.
2010- The year of discovery
If I had to sum up 2010 in a few words, it would be... it was good. If anything, the year started off fairly quietly. In 2008, I had suffered a terrible physical ailment that left 2009 recovering from it all as its sole purpose. 2010 was the first full year being in better straights. But as far as that goes, I am not sure what to say about 2010. It was a good year, yeah, but sometimes I wonder why that is. Was it the lack of BAD things that happened? Something I have overlooked? Or was it just a lot of small, insignificant things that eventually added up? Perhaps it was that last one yeah...
I mean this is the year I discovered what I liked in media, like books and music, games, and stuff of that nature. It's when I got my paws on a computer for the first time, albeit it was a school computer lol. Got 4th place in a math competition too.
At the year's dying breaths though, is probably when I took my first few steps into the furry fandom without knowing it. As around my 14th birthday was when I discovered furry artwork for the first time. And yes. It was porn lol XD
Yes, yes 2010 was a good time. Even a few hiccups here and there could not stop it.
2011- The year of incompetence
2011 was a... weird one. Kinda. 2011 started off quiet, in what would probably be called a GOOD way? As to be perfectly honest, 2011 was the year that showcased the majority of my own sheer, personal stupidity. It's kind of embarrassing the things I tried way too hard to have here. Oh yeah. In the long run, it most certainly was important, as I know for a fact I would not be here. What was that thing? Having an online presence that is what. Ooooof course, my technological ineptitude did stop that in its tracks. And it is ineptitude I still have to this day lol XD Well obviously it did work out in the end, but yikes did it take up most of the year... Like... oooouch. I swear 2011 was a thoroughly unproductive year. Not that it mattered too much, being only 14... My first volunteer trip to Yellowstone. It was when I started high school...! How can that be SO long ago now?! Incredible.. I heard the concept of furries for the first time, buuut. I heard the wrong definition. I heard it describe the art, and not the people in a fandom. If I had... I do... wonder.
O-oh yeah. And this was the year I created Aero! ...A beta, more avatar-like version of him, but... he got his start in October! So yeah. That is something!
2012- The year of gold
2012 is the best year of my life insofar. End of story. Why was that? I guess it was because 2012 was probably the year I felt the least alone. Among other things. School was going fantastically. Youtube was a fun thing to be on at the time. Oofs remember Youtube in 2012? Man.. good times. Lots of Minecraft tho. I had no problems with it though, since I was a part of the problem lol. This also had to have been the year I did the most reading too... There was not an awful lot of things to do in the summer, since I dislike summer... a lot.
And of course. The bombshell of my online life- At 2012's dying days around Christmas, while everyone was wondering how we were all still alive... I discovered a certain internet subculture... One that would invade my life and change it irrevocably. Bron-- no it's furries duh~ Though at the time, I knew literally nothing about it and was wondering.. would I consider myself one? Hmm... What did I decide on I wonder... Another day may come when I would elaborate on how this happened too!
<--- also when I met this adorable boi~
2013- The year of polarization
Look at my page. Do you see that sign up date? Do I need to reiterate what this particular year is known for starting with in my life? I do not think I do... As starting in 2013, the furry fandom would become a large part of my life. And it would remain to be, now, going into the 2020s. With 2012 already having been an awesome year, it would be needless to say that throwing furries into it made the first few months of 2013 even better! Yeah... easily the peak of my life, again, I hope it to be merely insofar... It was a beautiful time to be alive. And I truly miss those days. But I swear that someday, things will outshine even this.
So where did things go wrong? Honestly that I am not 100% certain on. As things steadily declined through the summer, both in mental health and physical health. Why? Beats me.. And when my junior year of high school began, I knew that I was in trouble. It was so much harder than it was in the immediate past. And then... I fucked up. I fucked up bad. So indescribably badly that I am where I am today as a direct result of the long chain of events that transpired since: I reached out to try and help others with mental health. Clearly I badly misunderstood how in over my head I was... As I started feeling increasingly more alone and isolated. And then, I got sick. Super badly. Thankfully lasted a month and not more, but... Sadly things would not get much better.
2014- The year of tribulation
In contrast to 2012, 2014 was probably the worst year of my life, as far as mental health goes. So much so, that I really just don't want to talk about it much. Focusing on improving my future has taken all my focus after all.. All that is really needed to be said is that 2014 was filled with heartbreak, heartache, depression, desolation, desperation, angst, and again. Sheer stupidity and incompetence on my part lol! I was a MESS. My health collapsed again early on in the year. But after summer started to progress, things got slowly more okay again. Well, about as okay as things can get regarding everything that was happening. If anything, 2014 was the best year for me trying to draw, as I have never drawn so much in one year before, and I do not think I ever will again. I also held my first job, finished my first major writing project, got my hands on my favorite game ever, Xenoblade Chronicles, AND redesigned Aero completely. Most of who is now was intact even back then. As the willpower incarnate. To help guide my way in the darkest of times. As I hope, and expect, that no year would contest 2014 as the worst ever again.
Buuut little did I know, things would actually get worse in time. Yikes.
2015- The year of silence
This might be a short entry. 2015 was a year that had some major things, but not... much. There was very little good, but also very little bad worth talking about here... This would be my final year in school. And the only I would spend any time in college up to this point. I graduated this year from high school, started my Walmart career, was cheated on, and ultimately decided to move to Arizona in 2016. ...Aaaaand that is about it! Yeah. Not much to say. But after 2014, I think this might be for the best.
I DID also create Lukan and Klaus' characters during this year too, for what that is worth. Got my first art commissions. And yeah. That is that.
2016- The year of mistakes
If only things got better or stayed quiet in 2016. Hoo boy, this year was a complete and utter disaster. There is no way I can deny or deflect THIS fact. So big red flags right away- dropping out of college, and leaving my simple and familiar life in Wyoming to pursue a relationship in Arizona-- what was I thinking? Yeah sure my mom was on board as we both were wanting to leave Wyoming anyway, but wow. WOW. We did EVERYTHING about as poorly as you could. Nowhere to stay, and no jobs lined up in a town neither of us knew anything about? What the FUCK made us think we would be alright with that?! Nevertheless, we recovered from that for the time being. Until May, when we ran into a real possibility of losing everything again. I was forced to ask for help. And that led to me eventually having to send my mom back to Iowa with her family since I could not afford to keep us both there on a part time job at Walmart.. no way.
What resulted from that was rapidly increasing loneliness, confusion, desperation, and carelessness. Ultimately losing my purpose to be in Arizona in 2016's final hours.
But hey, if anything, Zootopia was awesome right? Pokemon Sun and Moon? Heh...
2017- The year of facades
So 2017 was known for one thing in my life. And that would be my abusive ex boyfriend. Just about everything this year involved him and... well... I would like to not be mad at him anymore and move on so... I may keep this one brief too.
Pretty much the first half of 2017 or so boiled down to this-- can't wait to be with new boyfriend and too paranoid to spend too much money. And the second half was me... calling out for help, having moved to Colorado. When I joined Telegram late that year, I wonder how many furs... suspected. *shrug* Who knows.. I had to pretend everything was alright, while my captor pretended to be a good person. Still wondering if it is a good thing I let him take my virginity...
OH YEAH. AND I WAS HIT BY A CAR THIS TIME TOO. Will be dealing with BS from that in 2018 and 2019... Ugh. Losing a lot of family and people I liked did not help much either.
It was in 2017 that I started to take a few steps back and just... evaluate. What am I fighting for? Why am I here? What are my goals? What should I do? ...Some of these questions are still unanswered... Part of this is why I started to write Life is Just a Storm, after all..
2018- The year of recovery
I would not necessarily call 2018 an explicitly GOOD year, it most certainly had a lot of good going on about it. I was finally able to go to furmeets on a relatively frequent basis. I hit my first conventions this year in AC and Denfur. Some... more personal milestones were hit. Saving money (sorta) and meeting new local furs (sorta) was good too!
But... there was an air of uncertainty about the year. As even though there were a lot of good things about 2018, I just had to wonder... what did it all amount to? What was the purpose of all of these things if they did not lead to anything long term? Especially in the realm of relationships, as let's not forget-- Loneliness is a BITCH. Also Walmart made me rage quit. It's... another relatively quiet year, especially after summer ended. I did start working on my telegram sticker pack with
and got my new computer... commed my fursuit partial from 
as well, but sadly... not much else.
Oh. And and I made things more official~ Now... how... how on Earth are we going to unite now...?
2019- The year of stagnation
Oof. I may have to take back what I said about 2011 being an unproductive year. Boy, did I let this one pass me by SO quickly that is obscene. I do not even think I can do a "2019's death..." journal due to the emptiness that was 2019 as a whole. Are there things to talk about? Sure! ...Not much. Most of it was biding time as I waited for more money to come in. I had full intentions on blasting my way through improvement this year but... Sticker pack grew more than I thought. Work started screwing me over at the absolute WORST times possible.. my partial costing a bit more than I anticipated... and to my horror, I found myself facing the possibility of homeless once again! How? How did things get to this point SO fast? It's scary thinking, that going into 2020, these problems are still not resolved. And as long as they are not, I cannot focus on full recovery, and beyond that, thriving. It just kind of makes me wonder... what is it going to TRULY take to seize the future as my own? To be able to independently live as I desire? As what I have been doing is not proving to be enough.
I must use this new decade as a learning platform. To have everything completely turned around by 2029! This is my hope. My dream. My goal. No matter how depressed and down I may get. I cannot let my will waver for even a moment. Each second is precious, since they are speeding up at an alarming rate.
As surreal as it is for me to say this... but... not just 2019 is over. But an entire decade is shifting. It almost does not feel real. It does not feel like reality at all. And yet. It is. Here we are. A new era. A new opportunity will be opening. New changes.
New... horizons.
So let's do this. Let's seize our futures as our own. Our reality. Live as we desire. Without obstruction. Without fear. And whatever challenges that lay ahead, we will rush through with no hesitation. That is what I would like to see starting in 2020. Being able to say that... I. No. WE are willpower incarnate....
Happy New Year, everyone.
2010- The year of discovery
If I had to sum up 2010 in a few words, it would be... it was good. If anything, the year started off fairly quietly. In 2008, I had suffered a terrible physical ailment that left 2009 recovering from it all as its sole purpose. 2010 was the first full year being in better straights. But as far as that goes, I am not sure what to say about 2010. It was a good year, yeah, but sometimes I wonder why that is. Was it the lack of BAD things that happened? Something I have overlooked? Or was it just a lot of small, insignificant things that eventually added up? Perhaps it was that last one yeah...
I mean this is the year I discovered what I liked in media, like books and music, games, and stuff of that nature. It's when I got my paws on a computer for the first time, albeit it was a school computer lol. Got 4th place in a math competition too.
At the year's dying breaths though, is probably when I took my first few steps into the furry fandom without knowing it. As around my 14th birthday was when I discovered furry artwork for the first time. And yes. It was porn lol XD
Yes, yes 2010 was a good time. Even a few hiccups here and there could not stop it.
2011- The year of incompetence
2011 was a... weird one. Kinda. 2011 started off quiet, in what would probably be called a GOOD way? As to be perfectly honest, 2011 was the year that showcased the majority of my own sheer, personal stupidity. It's kind of embarrassing the things I tried way too hard to have here. Oh yeah. In the long run, it most certainly was important, as I know for a fact I would not be here. What was that thing? Having an online presence that is what. Ooooof course, my technological ineptitude did stop that in its tracks. And it is ineptitude I still have to this day lol XD Well obviously it did work out in the end, but yikes did it take up most of the year... Like... oooouch. I swear 2011 was a thoroughly unproductive year. Not that it mattered too much, being only 14... My first volunteer trip to Yellowstone. It was when I started high school...! How can that be SO long ago now?! Incredible.. I heard the concept of furries for the first time, buuut. I heard the wrong definition. I heard it describe the art, and not the people in a fandom. If I had... I do... wonder.
O-oh yeah. And this was the year I created Aero! ...A beta, more avatar-like version of him, but... he got his start in October! So yeah. That is something!
2012- The year of gold
2012 is the best year of my life insofar. End of story. Why was that? I guess it was because 2012 was probably the year I felt the least alone. Among other things. School was going fantastically. Youtube was a fun thing to be on at the time. Oofs remember Youtube in 2012? Man.. good times. Lots of Minecraft tho. I had no problems with it though, since I was a part of the problem lol. This also had to have been the year I did the most reading too... There was not an awful lot of things to do in the summer, since I dislike summer... a lot.
And of course. The bombshell of my online life- At 2012's dying days around Christmas, while everyone was wondering how we were all still alive... I discovered a certain internet subculture... One that would invade my life and change it irrevocably. Bron-- no it's furries duh~ Though at the time, I knew literally nothing about it and was wondering.. would I consider myself one? Hmm... What did I decide on I wonder... Another day may come when I would elaborate on how this happened too!
<--- also when I met this adorable boi~ 2013- The year of polarization
Look at my page. Do you see that sign up date? Do I need to reiterate what this particular year is known for starting with in my life? I do not think I do... As starting in 2013, the furry fandom would become a large part of my life. And it would remain to be, now, going into the 2020s. With 2012 already having been an awesome year, it would be needless to say that throwing furries into it made the first few months of 2013 even better! Yeah... easily the peak of my life, again, I hope it to be merely insofar... It was a beautiful time to be alive. And I truly miss those days. But I swear that someday, things will outshine even this.
So where did things go wrong? Honestly that I am not 100% certain on. As things steadily declined through the summer, both in mental health and physical health. Why? Beats me.. And when my junior year of high school began, I knew that I was in trouble. It was so much harder than it was in the immediate past. And then... I fucked up. I fucked up bad. So indescribably badly that I am where I am today as a direct result of the long chain of events that transpired since: I reached out to try and help others with mental health. Clearly I badly misunderstood how in over my head I was... As I started feeling increasingly more alone and isolated. And then, I got sick. Super badly. Thankfully lasted a month and not more, but... Sadly things would not get much better.
2014- The year of tribulation
In contrast to 2012, 2014 was probably the worst year of my life, as far as mental health goes. So much so, that I really just don't want to talk about it much. Focusing on improving my future has taken all my focus after all.. All that is really needed to be said is that 2014 was filled with heartbreak, heartache, depression, desolation, desperation, angst, and again. Sheer stupidity and incompetence on my part lol! I was a MESS. My health collapsed again early on in the year. But after summer started to progress, things got slowly more okay again. Well, about as okay as things can get regarding everything that was happening. If anything, 2014 was the best year for me trying to draw, as I have never drawn so much in one year before, and I do not think I ever will again. I also held my first job, finished my first major writing project, got my hands on my favorite game ever, Xenoblade Chronicles, AND redesigned Aero completely. Most of who is now was intact even back then. As the willpower incarnate. To help guide my way in the darkest of times. As I hope, and expect, that no year would contest 2014 as the worst ever again.
Buuut little did I know, things would actually get worse in time. Yikes.
2015- The year of silence
This might be a short entry. 2015 was a year that had some major things, but not... much. There was very little good, but also very little bad worth talking about here... This would be my final year in school. And the only I would spend any time in college up to this point. I graduated this year from high school, started my Walmart career, was cheated on, and ultimately decided to move to Arizona in 2016. ...Aaaaand that is about it! Yeah. Not much to say. But after 2014, I think this might be for the best.
I DID also create Lukan and Klaus' characters during this year too, for what that is worth. Got my first art commissions. And yeah. That is that.
2016- The year of mistakes
If only things got better or stayed quiet in 2016. Hoo boy, this year was a complete and utter disaster. There is no way I can deny or deflect THIS fact. So big red flags right away- dropping out of college, and leaving my simple and familiar life in Wyoming to pursue a relationship in Arizona-- what was I thinking? Yeah sure my mom was on board as we both were wanting to leave Wyoming anyway, but wow. WOW. We did EVERYTHING about as poorly as you could. Nowhere to stay, and no jobs lined up in a town neither of us knew anything about? What the FUCK made us think we would be alright with that?! Nevertheless, we recovered from that for the time being. Until May, when we ran into a real possibility of losing everything again. I was forced to ask for help. And that led to me eventually having to send my mom back to Iowa with her family since I could not afford to keep us both there on a part time job at Walmart.. no way.
What resulted from that was rapidly increasing loneliness, confusion, desperation, and carelessness. Ultimately losing my purpose to be in Arizona in 2016's final hours.
But hey, if anything, Zootopia was awesome right? Pokemon Sun and Moon? Heh...
2017- The year of facades
So 2017 was known for one thing in my life. And that would be my abusive ex boyfriend. Just about everything this year involved him and... well... I would like to not be mad at him anymore and move on so... I may keep this one brief too.
Pretty much the first half of 2017 or so boiled down to this-- can't wait to be with new boyfriend and too paranoid to spend too much money. And the second half was me... calling out for help, having moved to Colorado. When I joined Telegram late that year, I wonder how many furs... suspected. *shrug* Who knows.. I had to pretend everything was alright, while my captor pretended to be a good person. Still wondering if it is a good thing I let him take my virginity...
OH YEAH. AND I WAS HIT BY A CAR THIS TIME TOO. Will be dealing with BS from that in 2018 and 2019... Ugh. Losing a lot of family and people I liked did not help much either.
It was in 2017 that I started to take a few steps back and just... evaluate. What am I fighting for? Why am I here? What are my goals? What should I do? ...Some of these questions are still unanswered... Part of this is why I started to write Life is Just a Storm, after all..
2018- The year of recovery
I would not necessarily call 2018 an explicitly GOOD year, it most certainly had a lot of good going on about it. I was finally able to go to furmeets on a relatively frequent basis. I hit my first conventions this year in AC and Denfur. Some... more personal milestones were hit. Saving money (sorta) and meeting new local furs (sorta) was good too!
But... there was an air of uncertainty about the year. As even though there were a lot of good things about 2018, I just had to wonder... what did it all amount to? What was the purpose of all of these things if they did not lead to anything long term? Especially in the realm of relationships, as let's not forget-- Loneliness is a BITCH. Also Walmart made me rage quit. It's... another relatively quiet year, especially after summer ended. I did start working on my telegram sticker pack with
and got my new computer... commed my fursuit partial from 
as well, but sadly... not much else.Oh. And
and I made things more official~ Now... how... how on Earth are we going to unite now...?2019- The year of stagnation
Oof. I may have to take back what I said about 2011 being an unproductive year. Boy, did I let this one pass me by SO quickly that is obscene. I do not even think I can do a "2019's death..." journal due to the emptiness that was 2019 as a whole. Are there things to talk about? Sure! ...Not much. Most of it was biding time as I waited for more money to come in. I had full intentions on blasting my way through improvement this year but... Sticker pack grew more than I thought. Work started screwing me over at the absolute WORST times possible.. my partial costing a bit more than I anticipated... and to my horror, I found myself facing the possibility of homeless once again! How? How did things get to this point SO fast? It's scary thinking, that going into 2020, these problems are still not resolved. And as long as they are not, I cannot focus on full recovery, and beyond that, thriving. It just kind of makes me wonder... what is it going to TRULY take to seize the future as my own? To be able to independently live as I desire? As what I have been doing is not proving to be enough.
I must use this new decade as a learning platform. To have everything completely turned around by 2029! This is my hope. My dream. My goal. No matter how depressed and down I may get. I cannot let my will waver for even a moment. Each second is precious, since they are speeding up at an alarming rate.
As surreal as it is for me to say this... but... not just 2019 is over. But an entire decade is shifting. It almost does not feel real. It does not feel like reality at all. And yet. It is. Here we are. A new era. A new opportunity will be opening. New changes.
New... horizons.
So let's do this. Let's seize our futures as our own. Our reality. Live as we desire. Without obstruction. Without fear. And whatever challenges that lay ahead, we will rush through with no hesitation. That is what I would like to see starting in 2020. Being able to say that... I. No. WE are willpower incarnate....
Happy New Year, everyone.
