|.:. Updates .:.| Cleaning up who I watch, and more.
5 years ago
Heyo. So I'm not sure exactly how many people will read this, but I'm having a little trouble sleeping and I figured now is as good a time as any to update everyone on some updates and changes I will be uptaking in the up and coming next few weeks on my own FA and art-wise, personally. Also some about my situational stuff at the end. Let's get into it then.
Cleaning up the artists I watch
TL:DR; Getting rid of ALL YCH artists on my watch list. If I see multiple YCH spam from the same account which is posted more than once every few weeks? They're Gone. I'm done with "YCHaffinity" personally.
Those who are here now (and or did not take a 4 year bye FA) are probably aware that unfortunately FA seems to be overrun with "YCH spam" for a while now. I only recently returned to FA at the beginning of this year but yeah, ouch. At the time of me writing this, I'm currently watching 2,048 people on here which means that my inbox is not only flooded with the YCH spam, but by several artists, and I do mean several of them. I might lose a few mutual watchers in return, but honestly I am tired that tired of seeing the spam which is leading to me NOT seeing the unique or amazing art that is produced which isn't YCH spam.
I literally understand why a few of you guys have said that it's become hard to even see art from artists that you do want to look at. I nuked a total of 40k submissions today, Most of which on the first page was literal YCH sketch spam of the same image, over and over again with zero edits or creativity and with that I likely nuked a ton of great artwork in the middle of it. I could not see a damn thing between the literal white + (color of sketch) here pictures.
As such, like mentioned - I'm cleaning the hell out of the artists I've followed and probably will end up removing over a thousand or so people very likely because of this. But why not just ignore them Lorena? It's simple. I want to watch people who do unique **ART** or show me something that tells a story, gives me insight on how they draw certain things, or see when other artists post sexy critters that aren't a dime a dozen. I'm sorry but I don't see most YCH images as quality pieces anymore. Just cash grabs. Especially when I see the ones where they are literally selling more than one "exact same pose/background but your character here" types.
Once upon a time I even promoted certain auctions or YCH's. Back when I did art before 'quitting' due to RL and needing a 'real job.' Back, when I wasn't bombarded with at least 10-200 spam's a day. It's become ridiculous and I'm just getting rid of anyone that does it. It saves me going through so much sketch fodder to find what I actually want to see.
So yeah, step 1, byyyyyye YCHaffinity in my submissions box.
Art Block, and what I think caused this one.
TL:DR; I solved my art block, I'm both broke and feel guilty for not working fast enough.
This is something that perhaps other artists or creative types (writers/musicians/dancers/photographers/etc) might be able to understand and or feel similarly about sometimes if they've taken a break or hiatus for an extended period of time and had outstanding art going. For me I left in 2016 I believe, due to a hell-like living situation. I had to quit art because I literally needed to save up 3k FAST to assist my mother in getting a downpayment on a house so I could get the FUCK out of renting. I was also messed up mentally thanks to non-consensual things occurring to me thanks to an abusive ex but yeah, I ended up quitting art entirely during that period of time because honestly I was fucking exhausted with the level of depression I had, I basically had to work retail (seriously you who do these jobs are amazing and I have mad respect due to how shitty people act towards retail staff) and I was way overstressed because of said job. I couldn't deal with that and art. So yeah. I need to talk about things.
I am working on my backlog, but there's a few things that keep breaking my art gusto. 1) I do not have my abilities up to snuff yet (i'm rusty, my art isn't as good as it used to be but it is better than what it once was. See gothhana 's scraps for an example) but since I don't have job security anymore I need to get a few more solid commissions per month so I can afford to work on the art I owe still while not struggling just to keep my bills paid. I do have it all written down and update it. I am glad I preemptively was smart enough to keep a running list here directly on FA, and have talked to all of the people looking for updates in the meantime. That does however mean that I'm currently and was struggling with "how the hell am I going to be able to do all of this?" I know I don't have a lot outstanding work left, and thank god for that but I still feel extreme guilt. I never have had issues delivering work in the past and I cried about it a few days ago, given the life stuff which I'll update about later in this journal, it was just all way too damn much on me at once.
I promise though, I'm at least -trying- to work on the things I owe. It's really hard when at the back of my mind I keep going 'this isn't good enough' or 'anatomy is way off' or 'ugh that isn't supposed to look like that' and I'm struggling to look at the good bits instead of the bad ones. I've been experimenting a little bit with the sale images I have going on which is actually really helpful but again I feel bad for making people wait while I beat myself up mentally and try to game or do something else to try to re-inspire me to try harder or do better...
If you've ever taken a break from practicing or using your skills you can lose a bit of your ability. Now, some of this is muscle memory. I didn't forget how to do everything, but I have definitely forgotten how I used to do certain types of shading, and backgrounds, and which brushes I was using. It's mostly technical stuff like that, but it still sucks...
I'll remember and figure it out soon, but yeah - that's a big part of why art wasn't happening, but then my RL happened as it likes to do when I'm having an existential issue as an artist...
My family:
TL;DR: My grandmother is recovering, also my mom is sick too.
Some of you might have read about my grandmother. I posted a bit of a rant about it because we really are a small, close-knit family, and I am happy that she's finally gotten out of the hospital. She was literally hooked up to so many IV's just a few weeks ago I could barely look at her without crying. She was super sick, and I seriously was scared that she was going to die. Luckily she's gotten better, for now... She's not out of the wood-work entirely yet and is on medication but she was well enough, that they let her return back to her home in a small town, outside of my city. Thank god she got better.
What I didn't tell you guys about is that my mom is also sick but in a much less definitive, scarier sort of way. Here's the deal with that. She's essentially got an unknown illness and we've been going to specialist, and different specialist, who refers her to another specialist and we cannot find out what the hell is going on with her. It's terrifying and it's somewhat annoying also. Those who know me intimately might know that my mom hasn't been the greatest financially and that I've basically had to be more adult than 'child' and as such I've spent hundreds if not thousands getting her out of severe debt to where I'm at now, paycheck to paycheck on her wage. I've literally bailed her out for damn near 12 years now... Shit, yeah it's over thousands... She's had pretty much all of my tax returns yearly for that time-frame plus besides groceries I have paid for a ton of things in the house that needed fixing and such too. It's kind of depressing when I put it that way. Lol. Anyways, yeah - she's sick. And I don't know what she's sick with. Neither do the doctors, luckily in Canada, most of her medication is covered via her healthcare plan, and that hasn't been super expensive, but... It hasn't been cheap either, because with all of the travelling, I've spent easily hundreds of dollars on gas, parking, etc. It's not exactly cheap.
So yeah that's not great. Plus there's the coronavirus/covid-19 which I'm not getting into but please stay safe ( And hopefully you have toilet paper or a bidet... )
----
Anyways that's enough updates for now. I'm still open for commission, which will be on my main page in my journal, or check my prices if you want something that isn't in the current special I have going.
If you wanna chat about art or want to get art from me, you can add me on discord, or note here on fa, or inbox me on twitter. I tend to prefer only talking about art unless I actually know you really well. If I seem a little prickly... There's also a good call that I might have forgotten you a bit as 4 years without chatting means that I don't have the best memory, and I kinda ditched my skype and Second Life entirely. Lol. So if I knew you from there... Sorry I forgot you probably.
Also I rarely say hi or message first because i'm a textually awkward puma like that. I do a lot better in person with chatting lol. Online can be a struggle for me to make the first move chat-wise. Oh, and I don't roleplay at ALL anymore so please don't add me to do that stuff. I don't respond much to emotes or gifs either for the same reason.
>>~{Pineapple Princess Lorena ™}
Cleaning up the artists I watch
TL:DR; Getting rid of ALL YCH artists on my watch list. If I see multiple YCH spam from the same account which is posted more than once every few weeks? They're Gone. I'm done with "YCHaffinity" personally.
Those who are here now (and or did not take a 4 year bye FA) are probably aware that unfortunately FA seems to be overrun with "YCH spam" for a while now. I only recently returned to FA at the beginning of this year but yeah, ouch. At the time of me writing this, I'm currently watching 2,048 people on here which means that my inbox is not only flooded with the YCH spam, but by several artists, and I do mean several of them. I might lose a few mutual watchers in return, but honestly I am tired that tired of seeing the spam which is leading to me NOT seeing the unique or amazing art that is produced which isn't YCH spam.
I literally understand why a few of you guys have said that it's become hard to even see art from artists that you do want to look at. I nuked a total of 40k submissions today, Most of which on the first page was literal YCH sketch spam of the same image, over and over again with zero edits or creativity and with that I likely nuked a ton of great artwork in the middle of it. I could not see a damn thing between the literal white + (color of sketch) here pictures.
As such, like mentioned - I'm cleaning the hell out of the artists I've followed and probably will end up removing over a thousand or so people very likely because of this. But why not just ignore them Lorena? It's simple. I want to watch people who do unique **ART** or show me something that tells a story, gives me insight on how they draw certain things, or see when other artists post sexy critters that aren't a dime a dozen. I'm sorry but I don't see most YCH images as quality pieces anymore. Just cash grabs. Especially when I see the ones where they are literally selling more than one "exact same pose/background but your character here" types.
Once upon a time I even promoted certain auctions or YCH's. Back when I did art before 'quitting' due to RL and needing a 'real job.' Back, when I wasn't bombarded with at least 10-200 spam's a day. It's become ridiculous and I'm just getting rid of anyone that does it. It saves me going through so much sketch fodder to find what I actually want to see.
So yeah, step 1, byyyyyye YCHaffinity in my submissions box.
Art Block, and what I think caused this one.
TL:DR; I solved my art block, I'm both broke and feel guilty for not working fast enough.
This is something that perhaps other artists or creative types (writers/musicians/dancers/photographers/etc) might be able to understand and or feel similarly about sometimes if they've taken a break or hiatus for an extended period of time and had outstanding art going. For me I left in 2016 I believe, due to a hell-like living situation. I had to quit art because I literally needed to save up 3k FAST to assist my mother in getting a downpayment on a house so I could get the FUCK out of renting. I was also messed up mentally thanks to non-consensual things occurring to me thanks to an abusive ex but yeah, I ended up quitting art entirely during that period of time because honestly I was fucking exhausted with the level of depression I had, I basically had to work retail (seriously you who do these jobs are amazing and I have mad respect due to how shitty people act towards retail staff) and I was way overstressed because of said job. I couldn't deal with that and art. So yeah. I need to talk about things.
I am working on my backlog, but there's a few things that keep breaking my art gusto. 1) I do not have my abilities up to snuff yet (i'm rusty, my art isn't as good as it used to be but it is better than what it once was. See gothhana 's scraps for an example) but since I don't have job security anymore I need to get a few more solid commissions per month so I can afford to work on the art I owe still while not struggling just to keep my bills paid. I do have it all written down and update it. I am glad I preemptively was smart enough to keep a running list here directly on FA, and have talked to all of the people looking for updates in the meantime. That does however mean that I'm currently and was struggling with "how the hell am I going to be able to do all of this?" I know I don't have a lot outstanding work left, and thank god for that but I still feel extreme guilt. I never have had issues delivering work in the past and I cried about it a few days ago, given the life stuff which I'll update about later in this journal, it was just all way too damn much on me at once.
I promise though, I'm at least -trying- to work on the things I owe. It's really hard when at the back of my mind I keep going 'this isn't good enough' or 'anatomy is way off' or 'ugh that isn't supposed to look like that' and I'm struggling to look at the good bits instead of the bad ones. I've been experimenting a little bit with the sale images I have going on which is actually really helpful but again I feel bad for making people wait while I beat myself up mentally and try to game or do something else to try to re-inspire me to try harder or do better...
If you've ever taken a break from practicing or using your skills you can lose a bit of your ability. Now, some of this is muscle memory. I didn't forget how to do everything, but I have definitely forgotten how I used to do certain types of shading, and backgrounds, and which brushes I was using. It's mostly technical stuff like that, but it still sucks...
I'll remember and figure it out soon, but yeah - that's a big part of why art wasn't happening, but then my RL happened as it likes to do when I'm having an existential issue as an artist...
My family:
TL;DR: My grandmother is recovering, also my mom is sick too.
Some of you might have read about my grandmother. I posted a bit of a rant about it because we really are a small, close-knit family, and I am happy that she's finally gotten out of the hospital. She was literally hooked up to so many IV's just a few weeks ago I could barely look at her without crying. She was super sick, and I seriously was scared that she was going to die. Luckily she's gotten better, for now... She's not out of the wood-work entirely yet and is on medication but she was well enough, that they let her return back to her home in a small town, outside of my city. Thank god she got better.
What I didn't tell you guys about is that my mom is also sick but in a much less definitive, scarier sort of way. Here's the deal with that. She's essentially got an unknown illness and we've been going to specialist, and different specialist, who refers her to another specialist and we cannot find out what the hell is going on with her. It's terrifying and it's somewhat annoying also. Those who know me intimately might know that my mom hasn't been the greatest financially and that I've basically had to be more adult than 'child' and as such I've spent hundreds if not thousands getting her out of severe debt to where I'm at now, paycheck to paycheck on her wage. I've literally bailed her out for damn near 12 years now... Shit, yeah it's over thousands... She's had pretty much all of my tax returns yearly for that time-frame plus besides groceries I have paid for a ton of things in the house that needed fixing and such too. It's kind of depressing when I put it that way. Lol. Anyways, yeah - she's sick. And I don't know what she's sick with. Neither do the doctors, luckily in Canada, most of her medication is covered via her healthcare plan, and that hasn't been super expensive, but... It hasn't been cheap either, because with all of the travelling, I've spent easily hundreds of dollars on gas, parking, etc. It's not exactly cheap.
So yeah that's not great. Plus there's the coronavirus/covid-19 which I'm not getting into but please stay safe ( And hopefully you have toilet paper or a bidet... )
----
Anyways that's enough updates for now. I'm still open for commission, which will be on my main page in my journal, or check my prices if you want something that isn't in the current special I have going.
If you wanna chat about art or want to get art from me, you can add me on discord, or note here on fa, or inbox me on twitter. I tend to prefer only talking about art unless I actually know you really well. If I seem a little prickly... There's also a good call that I might have forgotten you a bit as 4 years without chatting means that I don't have the best memory, and I kinda ditched my skype and Second Life entirely. Lol. So if I knew you from there... Sorry I forgot you probably.
Also I rarely say hi or message first because i'm a textually awkward puma like that. I do a lot better in person with chatting lol. Online can be a struggle for me to make the first move chat-wise. Oh, and I don't roleplay at ALL anymore so please don't add me to do that stuff. I don't respond much to emotes or gifs either for the same reason.
>>~{Pineapple Princess Lorena ™}
FA+

To all the peeps working service jobs right now, I have nothing but serious respect.