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An Artist Dilemma (Updates, etc)
5 years ago
Okay, so here's the thing with me. Yes I am working on art. Doing so however, has made me realise something about myself though.
My art style? Is not fun to me anymore. I get that a lot of you watch me for the art that I produce, some are friends or some prefer to just follow me to figure out what I'm up to or to chat or whatever which is honestly fine, and I appreciate having so many of you stick around with me for so long. But as I sit here with enough of a backlog that new commissions will be on hold until stuff is done I've learned a lot about what I really am struggling with.
Part of me wants to keep producing artwork which others wanna see, that I know people enjoy, but I'm also realising that there are parts of my process that are a bit more mechanical these days than actually being artwork. The problem with that is that yes I can produce much faster work using the tools I have available (Line tools are a lifesaver for more complicated designs for example) but at the expense of what 'real art' is for me. So I'm kind of in this place where I'm not happy with what I'm putting out again.
I'm drawing things others enjoy but I find that for me the overarching process has been a hassle. Instead of art being 'fun' for me to work on when I'm like this it becomes a chore. And also I get to deal with knowing people are waiting to see their commissions or the art I put out but it's hard when I feel like the progress I've made is not 'good enough' or 'worth' what is being paid for but I really want the ability to just chill, make my art my own, not produce it because it's what sells but produce something more experimental, diverse.
Example, I'm usually very clean with my lineart and it's something a lot of you like seeing, but I think I'm actually progressing more into a painterly/sketchy/experimental style as I get back into arting again, and I wonder if I should just overhaul all of my commissions into more painterly/loose/fun styles instead of the heavy linework and soft shading that you're all used to. I'm stuck in this sort of pit of "well they paid me to draw things in my old style" versus being able to paint things a lot faster and looser if I don't rely on having the lines as clean as they used to be and I'd be able to likely make backgrounds much faster and more accurate if I did things in a painted style too.
So, I'm having a bit of an artist crisis so to speak while I wonder what to do with the art I'm tossing out there. I wonder if maybe I should just message commissioners about this and get their take on it or if I should just stick with what I know and keep producing things which are less 'art' and more 'productions' for me... Ack.
Either way, sorry guys for the rant, but if you've been wondering why art isn't coming out fast, that's what's up. I'm kind of stuck at this impasse, and trying to take time/breaks and work on things when I can or feel inspired to work, but that clearly hasn't been happening fast enough so i need to update everyone. Either way, art stuff will happen soon, i just gotta either bust ass and put things out that i'm not cool with or expect all of you to be fine with me to just drastically change my art style (which is unfair and I don't expect you to do that either.) Keep in mind, I'm also returning to art after a long haitus so art might look a little weird until i get back into the swing of things.
As for this time's hold up it's because the lines my body wants to produce are softer, less clean, more 'sketch' like, instead of the think heavy black lines that I normally do there's a lot of opacity change and variance in line width which is bugging me since my old stuff was pretty consistent thanks to using tools to make them that way. I'm still on the fence right now about what-do but yeah, post these commissions i think i'm going to be trying to radically change my style to one that is more experimental and less 'rigid' so i can start feeling more creative and less 'stuck' in old patterns.
Regarding other things, my mom's going again for surgery in a few days to get her second cataract surgery, and just recovered from having a stent put in and a minor heart attack so I've been busy trying to do chores and make sure she's doing okay too, so I've been a bit stressed. I have other stress/friend drama etc as well, but otherwise I'm doing fairly okay. Things could be better but they could also be much worse so I can't complain too much.
Just trying to keep people updated where need be. As per usual if you're concerned about where art is at, you can note me, or discord me, and I'll get back to you about progress. Just ask me about stuff directly as I tend to ignore more 'boredom' based conversation since I'm pretty busy. I'll respond on things where it's needed if it's business related but I don't really handle 'social' conversations that well unless it's someone that is pretty good at carrying a convo instead of expecting me to do that kind of leg work.
TL;DR : having art problems and don't know the fix/solution yet. I'll probably take a nap soon, and try to sort it out. Thanks for reading if you have.
>>{Pineapple Princess Lorena™}
My art style? Is not fun to me anymore. I get that a lot of you watch me for the art that I produce, some are friends or some prefer to just follow me to figure out what I'm up to or to chat or whatever which is honestly fine, and I appreciate having so many of you stick around with me for so long. But as I sit here with enough of a backlog that new commissions will be on hold until stuff is done I've learned a lot about what I really am struggling with.
Part of me wants to keep producing artwork which others wanna see, that I know people enjoy, but I'm also realising that there are parts of my process that are a bit more mechanical these days than actually being artwork. The problem with that is that yes I can produce much faster work using the tools I have available (Line tools are a lifesaver for more complicated designs for example) but at the expense of what 'real art' is for me. So I'm kind of in this place where I'm not happy with what I'm putting out again.
I'm drawing things others enjoy but I find that for me the overarching process has been a hassle. Instead of art being 'fun' for me to work on when I'm like this it becomes a chore. And also I get to deal with knowing people are waiting to see their commissions or the art I put out but it's hard when I feel like the progress I've made is not 'good enough' or 'worth' what is being paid for but I really want the ability to just chill, make my art my own, not produce it because it's what sells but produce something more experimental, diverse.
Example, I'm usually very clean with my lineart and it's something a lot of you like seeing, but I think I'm actually progressing more into a painterly/sketchy/experimental style as I get back into arting again, and I wonder if I should just overhaul all of my commissions into more painterly/loose/fun styles instead of the heavy linework and soft shading that you're all used to. I'm stuck in this sort of pit of "well they paid me to draw things in my old style" versus being able to paint things a lot faster and looser if I don't rely on having the lines as clean as they used to be and I'd be able to likely make backgrounds much faster and more accurate if I did things in a painted style too.
So, I'm having a bit of an artist crisis so to speak while I wonder what to do with the art I'm tossing out there. I wonder if maybe I should just message commissioners about this and get their take on it or if I should just stick with what I know and keep producing things which are less 'art' and more 'productions' for me... Ack.
Either way, sorry guys for the rant, but if you've been wondering why art isn't coming out fast, that's what's up. I'm kind of stuck at this impasse, and trying to take time/breaks and work on things when I can or feel inspired to work, but that clearly hasn't been happening fast enough so i need to update everyone. Either way, art stuff will happen soon, i just gotta either bust ass and put things out that i'm not cool with or expect all of you to be fine with me to just drastically change my art style (which is unfair and I don't expect you to do that either.) Keep in mind, I'm also returning to art after a long haitus so art might look a little weird until i get back into the swing of things.
As for this time's hold up it's because the lines my body wants to produce are softer, less clean, more 'sketch' like, instead of the think heavy black lines that I normally do there's a lot of opacity change and variance in line width which is bugging me since my old stuff was pretty consistent thanks to using tools to make them that way. I'm still on the fence right now about what-do but yeah, post these commissions i think i'm going to be trying to radically change my style to one that is more experimental and less 'rigid' so i can start feeling more creative and less 'stuck' in old patterns.
Regarding other things, my mom's going again for surgery in a few days to get her second cataract surgery, and just recovered from having a stent put in and a minor heart attack so I've been busy trying to do chores and make sure she's doing okay too, so I've been a bit stressed. I have other stress/friend drama etc as well, but otherwise I'm doing fairly okay. Things could be better but they could also be much worse so I can't complain too much.
Just trying to keep people updated where need be. As per usual if you're concerned about where art is at, you can note me, or discord me, and I'll get back to you about progress. Just ask me about stuff directly as I tend to ignore more 'boredom' based conversation since I'm pretty busy. I'll respond on things where it's needed if it's business related but I don't really handle 'social' conversations that well unless it's someone that is pretty good at carrying a convo instead of expecting me to do that kind of leg work.
TL;DR : having art problems and don't know the fix/solution yet. I'll probably take a nap soon, and try to sort it out. Thanks for reading if you have.
>>{Pineapple Princess Lorena™}
I never got into clean lines side of things myself, it always seemed like a huge chore for little end result or results I didn't actually like compared to sort of fuzzy stuff that was there prior...