Yes, I made the mistake of being stupid and edgy. Yes, I said a word I shouldn't have said. Yes., I have lost friends and been banned from multiple servers now without warning. Yes, perhaps I deserve it. No, I wasn't always like that, and yes, I'm trying not to be like that anymore.

For those not aware, some screenshots have come up from 2 years ago, and which I said some things that I regret. I will not post links. I will not name names. I will not call anybody out. This is simply a journal to give context of why I chose to be stupid. Does that excuse it? No.

I have been in the fandom, silently lurking for over 20 years. About 3 years ago, I had finally decided to interact with the fandom, and began joining discord servers. My interests and likes were varied. As such, I had joined servers where my interests did not align 100% with the rest of the server, which 4 out of 5 of the first servers I had ever joined, simply did not care. No one ever spoke to me, no one ever acknowledged me. I was just... there. So, I was looking for artists to commission, and found they had a discord server, and had decided "sure, why not?", so, I joined, and I talked to people. Yes, some of them said some bad things, but not all of them. Most of them were into a fetish that i was not into, but they were okay with that. They didn't shut me out just because my interests didn't align with theirs 100%. So, after being there for so long, I got into the habit of talking the way they do, and that was my mistake.

Again, this does not excuse me in any way. I just wanted to state WHY I made this mistake, and to apologize for it.