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*Friendship Rant*
5 years ago
I know I know, it's been 9 months since my last journal. A lot has happened.
I got divorced last year, moved, and have been job hunting ever since. I had to deal with a falling out with not just my ex-husband but also two people that were supposed to be my friends but ended up abusing and throwing me away. I had to do this mostly alone because the normal friends that were buddy buddy with me bailed. Like literally 3 people didn't talk to me or reach out to me when they knew I was going through probably the roughest part of my life since my dad died. I certainly wasn't in the mindset to ask for help either.
I learned last year to stop giving people chances to hurt me by not being there. I closed up shop. I stopped being open to the world about myself, what I was going through because I believed no one cared. I tried but not very hard to make plans, to reconnect and I was still disappointed by how apathetic people who used to call me family treated me. I get they were going through their own lives. I tried to be there for them with that. I tried to do my best to be the best friend I could be despite the pain I was in. It was really messed up.
My partner has been such a blessing by being pragmatic and playing devil's advocate to defend what I saw as just unjustifiable. But we both agreed that if I want to open myself up again to people I should do so holding back. That's kind of what I learned. I have to hold back. I am too sensitive when someone claims we are like sisters, that we are like family and then complete silence takes place. Relationships are a give and take and I refuse to give more than what I take. I've explained to them multiple times that if you want to keep a close relationship with me you have to at least talk. At least a response.
If you read this as someone who I used to be former friends with, I'm sorry. I probably left without a word to you. You did say that you weren't a good friend. Guess you proved that to me. When people show you who they are and how they feel, believe them. You don't get to decide what they are actually going through or if they were actually hurt.
No idea why I made this ranty journal about the past year's shitfest that was thrown upon me. I have so much on my plate I'm worrying about. I am not a very good adult. Then again... The times that I'm witnessing aren't exactly poor friendly.
Be a decent being and stay safe out there.
I got divorced last year, moved, and have been job hunting ever since. I had to deal with a falling out with not just my ex-husband but also two people that were supposed to be my friends but ended up abusing and throwing me away. I had to do this mostly alone because the normal friends that were buddy buddy with me bailed. Like literally 3 people didn't talk to me or reach out to me when they knew I was going through probably the roughest part of my life since my dad died. I certainly wasn't in the mindset to ask for help either.
I learned last year to stop giving people chances to hurt me by not being there. I closed up shop. I stopped being open to the world about myself, what I was going through because I believed no one cared. I tried but not very hard to make plans, to reconnect and I was still disappointed by how apathetic people who used to call me family treated me. I get they were going through their own lives. I tried to be there for them with that. I tried to do my best to be the best friend I could be despite the pain I was in. It was really messed up.
My partner has been such a blessing by being pragmatic and playing devil's advocate to defend what I saw as just unjustifiable. But we both agreed that if I want to open myself up again to people I should do so holding back. That's kind of what I learned. I have to hold back. I am too sensitive when someone claims we are like sisters, that we are like family and then complete silence takes place. Relationships are a give and take and I refuse to give more than what I take. I've explained to them multiple times that if you want to keep a close relationship with me you have to at least talk. At least a response.
If you read this as someone who I used to be former friends with, I'm sorry. I probably left without a word to you. You did say that you weren't a good friend. Guess you proved that to me. When people show you who they are and how they feel, believe them. You don't get to decide what they are actually going through or if they were actually hurt.
No idea why I made this ranty journal about the past year's shitfest that was thrown upon me. I have so much on my plate I'm worrying about. I am not a very good adult. Then again... The times that I'm witnessing aren't exactly poor friendly.
Be a decent being and stay safe out there.
Things will get better, sometimes they just have to get worse first. And it sounds like you've gotten through a decent portion of it, if not all of it. Good luck to you and I hope things will continue to improve over time ♥
But I don't think it's outrageous to ask for friendship to be a two-way street and not as a burden. I don't treat my friends as burdens, I don't deserve to feel that way.
No one is perfect. And that's alright.
You're still a sweet person despite what you need to do to protect yourself. You gotta do what you need to do, and keep those who've proven themselves to you, close. <3
I get you gotta like let people go. It just sucks when you feel like it was your fault despite you being the only one communicating and trying to make things work out. It sucks. But keep holding your standards. I gotta be tough and strong like you. :3
I'm so so so so sorry for this shitty situation you're in. It's sad how the world is stupid and you can't just trust people because people will say one thing and then do the complete other. I learned to trust actions and not words.
While true I have a support network of close-ish people no one is dming me day to day. So if you ever want to talk to me, just join my discord. I chat waaaay more on there than on here.
I hate the note system on FA.
I know the feeling. It can get to you.
I know I’m a complete stranger but DMs are open.
You're always free to message me.