I feel like that sometimes too... hehe... in particular though I have a problem where I'll remember different aspects of things or events at different times, or even in the same conversation... I'll get halfway through and be completely contradicting myself... not a good feeling XD hehe... but yeah... *shrugs*

Anyways, hope you feel better soon :)

I understand exactly how you feel, and I believe I could help if I knew more details.

It might be a form of some sort of social anxiety, or something of the like. I have a similar problem, except it whenever I buy something.

I think I know what you mean... I've found it helpful to find company with those who share these online interests of mine (big surprise, I'm talking about fur here) so that I at least have a 2nd group of friends that I can just... uhh, confide in? I guess that's kinda the right word... I mean, now the problem is keeping the two groups seperate, but at least I've got opportunity to go home and hang with the good old (offline) friends like I always have, or go have a crazy fur drawing session with people I know from online.

Know many other people irl who share your online life? If not, go meet some, man... maybe that could relieve some of the pressure.

Take it easy!

That would probably help. I pretty much had only one good friend growing up, but we pretty much parted company years ago due to divergent interests. The only people I know offline are family friends, and ... yeah, not so good for confiding with.

That said, online friends have proven to be invaluable when it comes to confiding the strange, twisted things writhing in your mind. Or, well, MY mind anyway.

hah...this is pretty similar to my circumstances as well. I mean, I got a few RL friends that I share interests with as well....well....3, or 4 really, thats it, but there good friends. I just dont, or rather CANT share ALL my interests with them...but my friends here, I can. So, in some one ones my internet life is more honest than my 'normal' one....god that sounds so sad, but i'm not knockin'....thems the breaks, y'know? And I'm thankful for what I have in both realms of my existance. I mean, there are times I almost feel I'm leading a double life, but than agaon, thats kinda cool too, in a way. I figure well, I'm not hurting anyone, so it cant be BAd I suppose. And like you, I dont lie to my RL friends. I just dont give them the full story that they really dont need to know anyway, cuz its irrelevent to them

Well, I can be social with people I'm grouped together RL to say, but usually I never get past 'friend' status so to say. :/ Close acquaintance maybe. I can only recall a very few friends when I grown up, and I kinda don't talk much with them nowadays due to us moving different ways.

Interestingly though, I grown closer to one of my family members while being away. Kinda funny.

I have the same problem, I hate lying or any form of deceit or mind game, so I try so hard to focus on not lying that the idea of lying consumes my thoughts, leaving me with this weird paranoid/guilty conscience type feeling as though I've been lying or... something o.o Not to say it's the same with you, but if so, it's probably unhealthy to obsess over it so much.

No, that pretty much sounds like what I do.

Holy Crap, that is a HUGE Freakin' Insight!!

Wish it were an applicable excuse for me... -.-


I can see where why and how there can be a tiny paranoid fragment in the back of our minds seeing lies everywhere. I know exactly what will spawn spontaneous doubts in everything you do and everything done to you.

It is because... it's all lies. Everything is based on lies. If you really look, you'll see that life itself only exists because it's cheating; if the universe were perfect, there wouldn't be room for life. A perfect universe doesn't need life. So, a flaw caught just ONCE--that's all it needed, and zeropoint energy started condensing into matter all over the place.

... Everything we know is built upon an elaborate lattice of mutually-supporting lies, where one unit concocted some silly story that explained things in an entirely WRONG yet exceedingly convenient fashion, and so another unit adopted this to gloss over all the empty spots in its central processing core. It expanded and expounded and EXPLODED until EVERYBODY was MAD-CRAZY about finding plausible explanations for things. The more they experienced, the more WRONGNESS they saw, and sought to explain it FURTHER, measuring things that had no dimension and naming the nameless! All the so-called 'laws' of 'nature' we know are just silly presumptions that just happen to work because ALL THE OTHERS that were posited were knocked out by the process of elimination!! All of this, ALL OF IT, is balanced on one tiny flaw. if one simple universal law had its loophole written out, none of this would exist.

God is Enevitability mixed with a healthy dose of chaos.

...But that doesn't make it right.


Our personalities are a set of variables floating aimlessly in the storage device cradled in our craniums. We are each a figment of our own imaginations, a thin wrapper of pretty paper suspended around a cold, calculating, savage machine. Any idea of depth or spirit is a happy illusion that doesn't really hurt anybody but can make you place some pretty zany bets against probability. It's really perfectly transparant if you train yourself to stop not seeing it.

If you focus THAT much on not lying, all the lies become apparant and life loses its meaning.

THAT IS WHY ignorance is bliss.
Nothing to see here, move along.

(or maybe that's all a lie, too.)

...You are severely depressing, however at least you seem to use your grey matter, which is refreshing. So cheers :3

I'm afraid of spiders >:

it's only depressing when it's not amusing as all hell o.o I can derive some sick, depraved enjoyment out of this, or paractically ANYTHING--oh BELEIEVE ME I can!!

Your icon is creepy cool X3

I can understand this; its nto exactly that lying is setting off the alarm, but maybe hiding half the truth; I admit to my parents that Dusty is a character of mine and all. I have yet to admit to them, though, that I am a part of the furry lifestyle >_> And it gives me a twinge of guilt.

That could be a sizable part of it. My folks know I draw "creatures", but that's about it.

My family seems to be aware of the whole furry thing. Sorta, they don't know about it that much but they do noticed that I'm interested in cats and... anthropomorphic cats.

I mean, one of my other family member is a furry and got caught with some risky drawings. They didn't mind too much, but it's a liberal family... (we make jokes about terrorists and US at times :P).

It's a normal thing, in the end, you either learn to live with it or turn into a master of deception XD the funny thing is that if you choose the last one the guilt you feel will dissapear.

Could it be that somewhere in your mind you know that people who know of the furry lifestyle, who aren't furries, seem to condemn it as bad or strange? I dunno. That's how it seems for me.

What is this guilt everyone else always feels over the silliest things? For the most part, I am devoid of any guilt. Maybe I'm just a dick, but nothing really bugs me unless I'm absolutely positive that I have made a mistake. I dunno... That, and everyone knows about my online life, and the two have kind of merged into one. That may have something to do with it.

I have the same thing, all the time. I've actually wound up taking the rap for things I haven't done in the past, just because I acted guilty when asked about them. Discounting the possibility of a parasitic infection influencing our behaviour, I think some people are just hooked up this way.

I've noticed two things;

The harder we try to hold onto something, the more it wants to slip away.
The harder we try to push something away, the more it holds onto you.

The middle is ground it to simply be and enjoy things. Everything will come and go as it pleases throughout life, and we cannot force the good to stay and the bad to leave. They both will leave of their own accord.

Are you holding onto anything? Or are you trying to push something away?

You're not lying to anyone else, but are you lying to yourself?

Is there something about furry you don't feel comfortable acknowledging?


...just a thought. :)

Hah, my dad told me that people with asperger (which I have) can't lie.

I don't recall lying lately, I just avoid telling the truth... I tend to see a difference between holding back information and giving out false information.

Your dad is (or was), somewhat ironically, lying. ;)

Lol.
That's so not true.
The lying part.

That's sorta what I do, for I supposedly have it too.

You're sure it's the whole 'online' thing? Could there be something else in life, something small, that's just bugging the edges of your subconcious?

I've kinda been feeling the same way, in the end, i'm really trying to stop drawing up the porn and stuff ^^;; I've recently been reworking my characters so that they're not so.. Over endowed just so i can draw em in public. ^^;

I manipulate information and situtaions to fit my needs and desires. It usually isn't evil, it's just that I've realized I'm smart enough to get my way around things. On the internet, I'm just a sex crazy, evil porno nerd. In real life, I'm a firefighter/EMT, a professional author, and a stregth conditioner/weight lifter. I don't go around bragging about who I am in real life because sex crazy, evil porno nerd better fits FA, and that's where my humorous side dwells, too. When I try to play macho hotshot, I always end up in trouble, like the last time I got kicked of FA during the whole babyfur issue. Besides, I like keeping my internet life separate from my real life. You couldn't imagine the shit I'd get if the guys knew the kinks I was into=p

I know that feeling well at times. ^^() Hence when people ask, I just omit the fine furry details, and be perfectly honest about everything else. Online gamer, computer geek, yadda. They really don't need to know the pervy details. :) Its none of their business.

I don't feel like I'm lying all the time per se, but I do have my own anxieties - for instance if something cocks up I'll mentally take the blame for it, even if I had nothing to do with it and could not have possibly influenced it in any way. So I guess that could be seen as a similar problem to what you're going through

As for the furry thing, most of my friends now know I'm a furry after I said "fuck it" and outed myself on a local messageboard. My family don't however, and this is likely to stay that way. I love them but if I'm brutally honest I do not trust them, at least not with stuff like this

I'm surprised that this seems so common. Maybe furries and mental idiosyncrasies go hand in hand.

By the way, your icon intrigues me. What are those little bricks hiding?

The little bricks are the 'Art Is Resistance' flag from Trent Reznor's grand web-based project for his forthcoming album. What they're hiding is my original FA avatar of plushy dragons hugging. I'm half-tempted to upload the original photo to my user space but can never be arsed

I've been there. I wonder if it's akin to the feeling like store workers think you stole something when you walk in and out of a store without buying something. I know I feel like that a lot when I'm just window shopping, even to the point where I purposely go out of my way to look honest and stuff, even just mentally, if that makes sense.

Oy, I used to get this all the time, and sometimes still do, whenever I see a police officer, or there's an upper level of management around or whatever. Not that I have something specific to hide, just that there's someone there who would catch me if I did something against the rules, even if I didn't know it was.

As for you, it could be because you're always trying to make sure you're honest? Or always checking the honesty of your statements? That doesn't just create the self-reminder that you're honest, it also creates the constant suspicion that you're not being honest. AND, because you're holding yourself at arm's length, judging your honesty, you're also picking up that seperation between you and what you're doing...which seems dishonest!

I seriously recommend "Your Erroneous Zones" - it was on the bestseller lists a few decades ago, should be able to get it at any used bookstore. Or on Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/dp/0751504556/ - it covers all kinds of psychoses-that-everyone-has, including that one. :B

Well, I suppose it's just because you have something to hide that you feel guilty. Sometimes people feel bad for keeping things from their relatives and friends.

it's not really bad that you keep private things private.

Its ok i guess, I do that too :) I tell the truth, but just attempt to avoid hitting home.

Social anxiety. I do that so often that I feel like I could fail any lie detector test by telling nothing but the truth. It doesn't really matter what you're being evasive about, you're going to be evasive about something. It's just going to happen.

Do be careful about chewing your fingers. You can get in trouble with the law if you damage your own fingerprints.

Just thought I'd add this: http://www.scribd.com/doc/8778/Why-.....-To-Be-Unhappy

*Slump* Wow, that was enlightening. Makes a lot of sense.

It took a dozen years or so (with much taunting and laughter and beatings), but I figured it out a few years back. It's just one of those things in America. Intelligent people are used and abused much like everyone else. The only difference?

*They are smart enough to know they are being used and abused.
*They don't usually have the skills and experience to fight back effectively.
*They are outnumbered and outgunned.
*Being a bagger in Albertsons or a mail clerk at the Post Office is easy and puts food on the table.
*They do have the experience to be spit on by White Trash Joe American (this includes most CEO's and Congressman) while cleaning dishes off a table in a restaurant.

This is a sick-ass fucking country and the only place I have experience enough to barely live in.

I do that sometimes, but it's more that I think I'm giving false information than lying.
Like I'm uncertain of the truth of my statements. I don't want to lie to them, but I'm never absolutely certain what I say is completely truthful.

Given the number of people who have already talked about the "double life" type thing, and the strains of not being able to share various aspects of one's life with people you know leading to feelings of fragmentation and whatnot, I'll not go into how I feel all that, too (although I often do).

What I will add, though, is that it's often easy to feel like a liar without ever saying a word. I can smile at someone in passing, almost as an automatic reaction, but if I'm feeling crappy, I'll get this awful feeling of being a huge liar, just from the simple act of smiling at someone.

Oh, and I wanted to add... I would like to have the talking sometime! I like your crazy ideas.

I'm like that with just about everything. I won't lie but I rarely tell the whole truth.

I know exactly how you feel, For years I felt that way when My dad asked if I was gay (various reasons mostly cause I had gay friends) and I told him No I wasnt, which wasnt a complete lie, Yea im basically Gay, I just strongly perfer males and wont date women so im technically bi

I think this is something most of us go through. I'm much like you, tbh. And I wouldn't worry too much. You're not being deceitful. You're just not advertising every detail. Now I will grant I have referred to where I've met some of my friends as "art web sites", which is the truth, but I don't tell people exactly what kind of art is put up on them. I'll bet you've done the same thing, or something similar. I'd hesitate to call it lying or deceit. More accurately, it's selective information that doesn't distort or necessarily give a false impression, but doesn't tell people everything about your online activity.

I hesitate to split hairs, but put it this way; it's our business what we do on here and how much we tell people, baring anyting blatantly criminal or morally reprehensible.

Maybe you just have somethign to hide and you're lying to YOURSELF! You feel guilty because by being honest and telling the truth you're actually lying because you believe your OWN lies and everyone else believes them with you!!

....or maybe you're just paranoid and shouldn't care.

Then again, I TRY to get people to think that I'm lying and I never actually do. Tghere's times the truth is so outrageous that you might as well be lying. My advice would be to have fun with it. ^-^