well here is the long story short. awhile back i was attacked by someone in my free art stream that came in threatening me about how im a shit artist and that i deserve to die.

his quotes

"you should be ashamed to draw shitty art like this. go back to school you (N word)"

"you think this is good you really think this is good?"

"my dick has better skills than you."

"oh hey hes drawing a face how original LEARN BODY ART DIPSHIT."

"your art is as bad as a tracing monkey."

from that one art stream it dropped myself esteem to even try to draw or even try to do any art. i did ban them in my picarto stream but i felt like shit that day anyways and that didnt help so i just ended the stream without even doing any art. i know your supposed to take criticism here and there and learn to mute the trolls and just ignore them but it just got under my skin.

the one thing that still bugs me from that day is the comment of your art is as bad as a tracing monkey. granted yes i have traced in my past and i try not to trace and post traced art at all since ive learned that lesson a long time ago. *cough* *cough* old account l33tpower. but i have tried to learn the body and how it flows and how the body is able to bend since then and i think i might try to do streaming again but till i feel safe enough to stream and feel like i wont be judged cause im still not as perfect as some of the popufurs here im still a bit shy with myself when it comes to my art and that day just didnt help and made me feel insecure. since then ive looked at alot of porn and sex models to view how the body works. since then i dont know how but i think ive been desensitized to porn from twitter and most porn sites LOL. guess thats a good thing maybe?

but yeah this is basically a journal to notify those that may still follow me and want to know what happened and why i havent posted in so long. trust me when i say this i will come back someday till i feel i can take the criticism without feeling attacked by stuff.