FA+
Shop
The full scale of my situation, ending 2020 and moving on
4 years ago
So I mentioned there were some things on my mind and I'm going to try and disclose these issues swiftly and effectively...
As I type these words, each moment, this very instant, I'm tired and trying desperately to wade through the firm grip of sleep.
I don't rest like I should, I'm fatigued more often than not, and stress has done a number on me for the past few years.
Regardless, I have a duty to try to uphold as both a creator and a lover and as someone who has failed many times as well...
Within the confines of failure, we find our greatest potential and actual wants/needs. The more are forced into what we don't prefer the more we can figure out what we want in life.
I realize its mostly easier said than done, this year has been utter hell for many of us and its not even the drama and world disasters that have us down...it's our loss of 'time' that has us all strained. Our sense of time has been shattered and not in the most helpful form; this year feels almost non-existent as we have been trapped in a haze of societal bullshit all year long.
For myself and my partner, these issues mainly relate to a strain on time and finances and I've poured everything I can into progressing forward but as of this week I've reached what feels like my possible 'end' in many ways. This is *not* to say I'm giving up nor do I desire to but rather I'm at a point where I feel my hand has been forced.
There are many difficult and complex possibilities right now as I strain to sort out issues with late bills and rent being due for next month.
Its bad enough the complex in which I live will no longer allow payment plans starting in 2021 which means all rent is due in full on the 1st. I have almost nothing for the first as we speak. This is a difficult topic to address as I always end up feeling like I should be doing better and in time, I hope to do just that but I've done my best at the very least, at my current level....that is what is most difficult for me to accept.
I feel like my best could or should be better but I've realized over this past stressful year each of us has been our own 'judgement day' or 'apocalypse' for ourselves. As living beings, creatures of Earth, we have a responsibiliy to our senses, environment, emotions....energy? So where do we go from here?
I cannot say where one should go moving onward into 2021 but I will say that the potential for growth and actual change is there on a societal level.
Don't go waiting on some politican or friend or family to give you the sign to change your direction...if you feel and know something is 'right' it will be so.
On the flipside if you end something on a sour note then that note carries on the wind and hums a sad drawn out song for as long as your ears are open.
I'm still learning, still trying to do better, still attempting to keep a cohesive living space and unfortunately I need some major help right now....financially and emotionally.
I don't want to make this about me, this is about my living space and keeping a roof over my boyfriend's head. Between rent and a couple of other things that need sorting out I have around 800$ I need to come up with in the coming weeks.
If anyone is willing to assist us, please send *any* amount of assistance to this paypal: eonicpulse[at]gmail.com
Also in a previous journal I do have some characters for sale https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9715421/
In regards to the other necessary updates and my change of lifestyle that I loosely reference in prior journals, I think it boils down to something simple: I've had time to transform. And soon I'll transform again as I do my best to rework my life to be even better in the coming year.
I'm down on my luck for now but I truly have been doing what I can to adjust, adapt, and continue forward in all things. I have a home, a lover, aspirations, and new creations, the unfortunate truth we each face is that we are all dealing with our respective hardships during these uncertain times.
As such I will absoluely *not* be offended by inability to assist me in my current ordeal...but any genuine offers of help will be grealy appreciated as I only have about a week or two tops to finish sorting this all out...
I tend to hold these updates back, as I do not want to ever trouble other people with what is owed on my tab, so to speak, but with literally nowhere else to turn but here, I'm hoping with every fragment of my being that I can have a miracle happen this holiday season...I wish the best for all of us and I hope everyone 'makes it' if you will.
Any questions about my situation can be directed to my notes, I'll respond asap, again if anyone wishes to help send to my paypal. I really need a boost here, spread the word if you can at the very least, any sort of assistance on this front is most welcome right now.
Stay warm and safe out there everyone, I'm hoping to bring more positive updates soon, I'll begin sharing a new song VERY soon from my upcoming album so stay tuned on that note.
Until then, may we each make it through the pain from the past year and create something better in 2021
As I type these words, each moment, this very instant, I'm tired and trying desperately to wade through the firm grip of sleep.
I don't rest like I should, I'm fatigued more often than not, and stress has done a number on me for the past few years.
Regardless, I have a duty to try to uphold as both a creator and a lover and as someone who has failed many times as well...
Within the confines of failure, we find our greatest potential and actual wants/needs. The more are forced into what we don't prefer the more we can figure out what we want in life.
I realize its mostly easier said than done, this year has been utter hell for many of us and its not even the drama and world disasters that have us down...it's our loss of 'time' that has us all strained. Our sense of time has been shattered and not in the most helpful form; this year feels almost non-existent as we have been trapped in a haze of societal bullshit all year long.
For myself and my partner, these issues mainly relate to a strain on time and finances and I've poured everything I can into progressing forward but as of this week I've reached what feels like my possible 'end' in many ways. This is *not* to say I'm giving up nor do I desire to but rather I'm at a point where I feel my hand has been forced.
There are many difficult and complex possibilities right now as I strain to sort out issues with late bills and rent being due for next month.
Its bad enough the complex in which I live will no longer allow payment plans starting in 2021 which means all rent is due in full on the 1st. I have almost nothing for the first as we speak. This is a difficult topic to address as I always end up feeling like I should be doing better and in time, I hope to do just that but I've done my best at the very least, at my current level....that is what is most difficult for me to accept.
I feel like my best could or should be better but I've realized over this past stressful year each of us has been our own 'judgement day' or 'apocalypse' for ourselves. As living beings, creatures of Earth, we have a responsibiliy to our senses, environment, emotions....energy? So where do we go from here?
I cannot say where one should go moving onward into 2021 but I will say that the potential for growth and actual change is there on a societal level.
Don't go waiting on some politican or friend or family to give you the sign to change your direction...if you feel and know something is 'right' it will be so.
On the flipside if you end something on a sour note then that note carries on the wind and hums a sad drawn out song for as long as your ears are open.
I'm still learning, still trying to do better, still attempting to keep a cohesive living space and unfortunately I need some major help right now....financially and emotionally.
I don't want to make this about me, this is about my living space and keeping a roof over my boyfriend's head. Between rent and a couple of other things that need sorting out I have around 800$ I need to come up with in the coming weeks.
If anyone is willing to assist us, please send *any* amount of assistance to this paypal: eonicpulse[at]gmail.com
Also in a previous journal I do have some characters for sale https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9715421/
In regards to the other necessary updates and my change of lifestyle that I loosely reference in prior journals, I think it boils down to something simple: I've had time to transform. And soon I'll transform again as I do my best to rework my life to be even better in the coming year.
I'm down on my luck for now but I truly have been doing what I can to adjust, adapt, and continue forward in all things. I have a home, a lover, aspirations, and new creations, the unfortunate truth we each face is that we are all dealing with our respective hardships during these uncertain times.
As such I will absoluely *not* be offended by inability to assist me in my current ordeal...but any genuine offers of help will be grealy appreciated as I only have about a week or two tops to finish sorting this all out...
I tend to hold these updates back, as I do not want to ever trouble other people with what is owed on my tab, so to speak, but with literally nowhere else to turn but here, I'm hoping with every fragment of my being that I can have a miracle happen this holiday season...I wish the best for all of us and I hope everyone 'makes it' if you will.
Any questions about my situation can be directed to my notes, I'll respond asap, again if anyone wishes to help send to my paypal. I really need a boost here, spread the word if you can at the very least, any sort of assistance on this front is most welcome right now.
Stay warm and safe out there everyone, I'm hoping to bring more positive updates soon, I'll begin sharing a new song VERY soon from my upcoming album so stay tuned on that note.
Until then, may we each make it through the pain from the past year and create something better in 2021
Let
~let
You've been through quite the tumultuous struggle. I truly hope things get better for you, emotionally and financially.
