Here is a little trick i learned zach write down your ideas that u come up with then figure out which ones actually sound like they can be made into what u want without a struggle then work on that project and finish it before jumping to a new one i have had the same problem a few times

I've done that before. It works but only until an interest swing. That is something that's gotten much worse in recent years. Like I'll get in the mood for one thing, be into it for a couple days then mood swing to another interest and stall out on what I was doing. It's affected anywhere from long story video games to art and game design.

Like, I can be incredibly quick with things when I'm in the right mood. Heck, those pixel vore animations I used to do, I could do one of those in full in one day when I'm all in. But then interest swing, totally snails pace dude.

Not to mention many things outside the realm of what you see here. Currently unemployed, don't even know if I should get a job or if I can mentally handle one. Meaning I'm going off pitty checks, along with out RL stresses and things. Time feeling it's flying by. UGh. So many... Many things... How does anyone do it? Or atleast... Do half of it without going complatly mad? I'm just... At a loss thinking of it.

I wish I could reveal some hidden meaning to life as to how we "do it" but I got nothin

I'd say my mental health is a 1000lb block of lead suspended entirely by thin plastic fishing line made of internet cuddles from friends on TG & Discord.

That and I work a volunteer job at a makerspace. Which, when it isn't stressful, is kinda fulfilling and gives a lot more purpose than my normal job. There's even some like-minded furs there, which is nice cause the local furmeet was shut down with no sign of ever reopening, along with every con this side of the country. :<

Well, one thing I've learned is the meaning of life is one's own choice to make. Problem is for me, I've been deconstructing things in my mind, and meaning got bailed away in the process. So with that, I haven't known how to get it back persay. It's a weird thing when nothing matters, we can choose whatever we want to do, yet can think of so many paths that I can't choose.

As for that second part. Not sure if I miss furmeets/furcons. I mean the last furcon I was at, I just left on day 3 (Of 4) as I just felt out of place. Even having fursuits. Perhaps I'm covered as one that needs more persanality? But yet, I've done local meets before, have talked to people, perhaps could consider some in the friends zone, but my mind says to me "Is this really it?". I donno, maybe cartoons/movies screwed me up and I'm expecting friendship to be this big end all be all. Though it all feels like some big thing I don't understand.

Also thanks for that post on the last journal. It helped me to write this one and get into looking at myself. *Hugs*

Heh you're welcome. I actually was just browsing your art and thought of maybe poking you for a commission since your art's actually got quite a cute style to it, and happened to notice the journal and read through it.

U need to take a step back snd cslm yourself what u are mainly doing is overthinking stuff tackle one problem at a time and stay on that problem dont let yourself be deviated from your hundreds of thoughts just focus on one thought and one thought only at a time it helps when u have someone that has gone through this still though what u really need is someone to talk to u that wont try and make it look like a mental case and and i can talk to u anytime

What helps me with this is to continually cycle through differnt activities, this helps keep me engaged and makes it so that I dont get burnt out on any one activity.

Ex:
work on a story for a hour or two
work on setting up a 3d print and let it run
play a game for a hour or two
work on homework for a hour
work on story for a hour

making sure to take the time for proper meals and hygene also gets worked in to help reduce the stress. But I find it easier to complete a project by putting broken up time into it so I can actually stay engaged in it. Also constant background noise helps me focus.

Hmmmm, I think something like that is what I used to do, though it's a bit more like... I'll be obsessed with this one thing, then an interest swing and I'll be interested in another. It's been like that since I can remember. A daily routine hasn't been a thing for me, more so just throw myself into whatever in mind. Yet if I swing out, that project slows to a snail's pace if I try to continue it. A mood swing can last days too, depending on what it is.

I've come to have a bad releationship with it due to it causing unfinished projects. I mean it's one thing if it's digital but this also applies to physical projects too.

I donno. Maybe try to do this daily routine thing? I don't even know how to sleep or what my body's trying to do regarding sleep. Being that I lie in bed for hours, brain imagining fireworks at 4am.

Have you spoken to a doctor. Because it may be that you are experiencing manic depressive episodes. Having drive for a day or two then crashing is a sign. And my friend started to get treatment last year, it has helped with the symptoms which include not being able to sleep. She said it was the best thing she ever did.

Not gonna lie... I'm more or less in the same place. I want to get into cooking, do 3d modeling, exercise, move out of the city, start living in a way that makes me happy and fulfilled. But... 2020 happened and just killed all momentum and motivation. I can probably still do those things, there's nothing really stopping me... I just... Don't have the motivation or even the starting push to get it done. As you said... I'm stuck on idle, and I'm a little scared that I'm gonna be stuck like this for the rest of my life.

You are definitely not alone.

I've been going through similar motions. I've been working six nights a week at my job since before the year began, which enabled me to amass quite a bit of overtime pay in the bank. And my strategy for achieving work-at-home self-sustainability is multi-pronged, so I'm always thinking about the next step that I'm going to tackle during my one night off.

But then after thinking about what I'm going to do with my night off for six whole nights, I spend the seventh crawling back and forth between the bed and Youtube.

It's not you. I think we're all still drained from 2020 and don't feel yet like it's 2021.

Well first off. I don't consider it 2021 until we get the vaccine to most of the population.

For the working situation, we are on opposite sites of that coin. I'm unemployed and severely resisting the urge to go find a normal job again. I mean when I left the towing yard some years ago, I left to be an artist here on FA, make a Patreon, and eventually make some games to sell on steam. Although, I didn't keep that energy going and well. Now I'm the mess I am today. Not knowing which path to follow.

I can say with confidence that there are times when your future aspirations seem so far away and all you want to do is just... go through the motions, follow the same safe circuit of activities and at least plug away at what you can reliably get done rather than start something new. And honestly, that's okay.

I will say that I've never bought into counseling outside of confidants and venting, kinda like you're doing now. The mere fact of getting professional help kinda makes the feeling that I'm far gone set in too strong, so I just don't do it. I have tough days, but I try to fill my hours with helping others be happy. It helps out a lot for me too, in some strange way. Maybe start a game group with some friends online, find something to look forward to throughout the week, some pin for your weeks so that you're not just floating on the wind, waiting for something interesting to happen. Be your interesting thing, basically.

Even if you don't do that, though, don't feel too terrible. Even without this pandemic, we'd all have "circling the drain" moments, but that drain has a cover. We've just got to ride it out, cause when we're ready, we'll climb out of our spiral, no problem. There's no shame in staying in it for a little bit, it's perfectly natural. You'll feel like doing something else of interest eventually!