FA+
Shop
Ghiottony's Passing
4 years ago
I don't know how to begin this journal.
No, I know how, it's just I don't want to write it.
But... I guess life has given me no other choice.
It's... with the heaviest of hearts that I must inform you all who are reading this journal of the passing of
Ghiottony.
As I wrote in the journal preceding this one I lost contact with him on February 22nd but it hasn't been until today that with the help of one of my best friends I've finally learned of his passing. Because I lack a way to directly contact his family I'm not aware of the causes of his death and I've opted to respect their privacy and don't dwell into further inquiring. After all I'm a stranger to them and they must be grieving him as much as I'm doing... and even more.
I'm still in disbelief. George, as that was his name outside of the boundaries of the internet, has been a constant presence in my life since we met for the first time eight years ago. Despite living in different countries, in different continents, we always felt really close to each other each time we chatted, like we actually were living in the same house and shared the same bedroom.
All days we would log in to Skype and both of us had such a great time together we ended up considering it the best part of our days. We've spent countless hours chatting, telling each other of our days, feeling happy when the other had a good day and offering a shoulder when life hit us where it hurt. And once we did with the venting we would have fun as it would allow us take a breath, and with the best company possible.
And so much fun we've had together! Of course both of us being geeks can give you an idea of which topics our chats would be about when the time for disengaging our brains enough to have fun came. Anime, cartoons, video game music... And why deny it, paying special attention to any 'heavyweight' fictional character that entered our radar as it was one of our main shared interests... Not to tell how many pics from around the internet we would share to further 'spice up' our nights.
But above all of that... There were our stories. All days, all nights for me, we'd work together in short stories. In the years we've been together we've basically come up with a new story almost each single time we were together. We've ended up crafting many characters, settings... entire worlds. Most probably the best part of the best part of our days! So many outrageous stories with even wilder characters... You wouldn't believe what we've come up with through all these years...
And all these stories and characters... which I've saved... I will treasure each one of them as his legacy to me. Sadly now we'll never get to complete our 'particular retelling' of the Greek mythology... nor will we tell how a certain rock band called 'Blood Moon' reached stardom... many other stories won't be completed too and who knows how many more will be left untold.. But at least I have what I have and as I've said I will treasure them, probably the fondest memories of the time we've spent together.
...
If you go to my profile page you'll notice I listed George as my 'husbando'. May feel like something I put just for fun, a cute nickname towards him, but truth that's how I've always felt towards him. Because despite the distance... How else could I call a man that has accompanied me each single day since we met? A man who gave me all the emotional support I needed when I was at my lowest? A man who generously helped me out when life hit me the hardest? George wasn't just another friend I've made thanks to the internet but a man who I could consider in such a serious manner despite the physical distance between us.
That's how important George has been in my life and why I'm personally hurting so much in these moments. I'll have to live with the regret that I'll never get to meet him in person. And even more in regret and guilt about the fact that despite how much he's helped me in life I wasn't with him in his last moments. Many of you will tell me there was nothing I could do but it's a weight I'll always carry with me.
Probably the hardest thing for me while I'm writing these lines is to talk about George in past tense. To think about him in terms of now being a part of my past. But at the same time I absolutely refuse to forget him. I'll always remember him. I'll always keep him in my heart. One day I may meet another man who I can think of my partner in life but George will still be there in my heart. Because he'll never leave it.
George wasn't just another man for me, he was 'my man'. And that's how he'll remain in my heart until the end of my days.
And telling you of his passing is part of me wanting to make sure he won't be forgotten. I had to make sure his passing wouldn't go unnoticed by both those who knew of him in life as well those who didn't.For those who knew of him know that I share the pain you must be feeling in these moments. Those who didn't know I only ask you to have him in your thoughts and prayers even if it's just for one day.
...
Since the sudden death of my paternal grandfather I've found myself unable to say 'goodbye' to anybody, even in the event of their deaths. And George, you won't be an exception.
I refuse to tell you 'goodbye'. I prefer to say 'until we meet again' to you. It may not be in this life nor in this world but I sincerely believe one day we'll get to meet again and that day we'll get to complete our stories. But don't worry because I'll take good care of them in the meanwhile. That I promise.
Rest well until that day my man, you've earned a good nap for the time being.
I love you George, and I'll always do.
Your hubster, Alfonso.
No, I know how, it's just I don't want to write it.
But... I guess life has given me no other choice.
It's... with the heaviest of hearts that I must inform you all who are reading this journal of the passing of
Ghiottony.As I wrote in the journal preceding this one I lost contact with him on February 22nd but it hasn't been until today that with the help of one of my best friends I've finally learned of his passing. Because I lack a way to directly contact his family I'm not aware of the causes of his death and I've opted to respect their privacy and don't dwell into further inquiring. After all I'm a stranger to them and they must be grieving him as much as I'm doing... and even more.
I'm still in disbelief. George, as that was his name outside of the boundaries of the internet, has been a constant presence in my life since we met for the first time eight years ago. Despite living in different countries, in different continents, we always felt really close to each other each time we chatted, like we actually were living in the same house and shared the same bedroom.
All days we would log in to Skype and both of us had such a great time together we ended up considering it the best part of our days. We've spent countless hours chatting, telling each other of our days, feeling happy when the other had a good day and offering a shoulder when life hit us where it hurt. And once we did with the venting we would have fun as it would allow us take a breath, and with the best company possible.
And so much fun we've had together! Of course both of us being geeks can give you an idea of which topics our chats would be about when the time for disengaging our brains enough to have fun came. Anime, cartoons, video game music... And why deny it, paying special attention to any 'heavyweight' fictional character that entered our radar as it was one of our main shared interests... Not to tell how many pics from around the internet we would share to further 'spice up' our nights.
But above all of that... There were our stories. All days, all nights for me, we'd work together in short stories. In the years we've been together we've basically come up with a new story almost each single time we were together. We've ended up crafting many characters, settings... entire worlds. Most probably the best part of the best part of our days! So many outrageous stories with even wilder characters... You wouldn't believe what we've come up with through all these years...
And all these stories and characters... which I've saved... I will treasure each one of them as his legacy to me. Sadly now we'll never get to complete our 'particular retelling' of the Greek mythology... nor will we tell how a certain rock band called 'Blood Moon' reached stardom... many other stories won't be completed too and who knows how many more will be left untold.. But at least I have what I have and as I've said I will treasure them, probably the fondest memories of the time we've spent together.
...
If you go to my profile page you'll notice I listed George as my 'husbando'. May feel like something I put just for fun, a cute nickname towards him, but truth that's how I've always felt towards him. Because despite the distance... How else could I call a man that has accompanied me each single day since we met? A man who gave me all the emotional support I needed when I was at my lowest? A man who generously helped me out when life hit me the hardest? George wasn't just another friend I've made thanks to the internet but a man who I could consider in such a serious manner despite the physical distance between us.
That's how important George has been in my life and why I'm personally hurting so much in these moments. I'll have to live with the regret that I'll never get to meet him in person. And even more in regret and guilt about the fact that despite how much he's helped me in life I wasn't with him in his last moments. Many of you will tell me there was nothing I could do but it's a weight I'll always carry with me.
Probably the hardest thing for me while I'm writing these lines is to talk about George in past tense. To think about him in terms of now being a part of my past. But at the same time I absolutely refuse to forget him. I'll always remember him. I'll always keep him in my heart. One day I may meet another man who I can think of my partner in life but George will still be there in my heart. Because he'll never leave it.
George wasn't just another man for me, he was 'my man'. And that's how he'll remain in my heart until the end of my days.
And telling you of his passing is part of me wanting to make sure he won't be forgotten. I had to make sure his passing wouldn't go unnoticed by both those who knew of him in life as well those who didn't.For those who knew of him know that I share the pain you must be feeling in these moments. Those who didn't know I only ask you to have him in your thoughts and prayers even if it's just for one day.
...
Since the sudden death of my paternal grandfather I've found myself unable to say 'goodbye' to anybody, even in the event of their deaths. And George, you won't be an exception.
I refuse to tell you 'goodbye'. I prefer to say 'until we meet again' to you. It may not be in this life nor in this world but I sincerely believe one day we'll get to meet again and that day we'll get to complete our stories. But don't worry because I'll take good care of them in the meanwhile. That I promise.
Rest well until that day my man, you've earned a good nap for the time being.
I love you George, and I'll always do.
Your hubster, Alfonso.
I'm here if you need me, pal. I'd need a shoulder after this, too, and you got mine.