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The Worst 4(ish) Days of my Life.
4 years ago
General
May you find what it is you are looking for.
Alllrright, story time. Some things I wanted to say first, this story is in no way meant to garner sympathy beyond what you feel you want to provide based on your relation to me x3 I am simply putting this out there as this is the widest spot I got to give the news, so I'm giving it here. An 'explanation' as to why I've been gone for the past half week pretty much in general. Any sympathy and more importantly well wishes and prayers are better served to the people still affected, along with people currently in New York by the sounds of it (haza more things exploding). Focus your thoughts on them, I'm out from the thick of it (So far) so just read my tale for understanding x3.
Another Note to preface this, I did not have access to a car for 99% of this, because as of 2 weeks ago Monday, I noticed it was leaking transmission fluid (I had some transmission issues before related to the fluid as well that I needed checked), and last Monday, I took it in so they could give it a look again (learned later all this it just deeded it's transmission drain torqued and then a top off of the missing fluid, which they did for free thankfully as they where supposed to do that before, BUT anyway, just wanted that to be known as a general thing before I get into it all).
SO,
I currently live down in Louisiana (have been working on trying to change that for half a year now but hasn't really been working out x3), and for those that know, we got hit by a pretty massive hurricane. Lower half of the state lost power at various points on Sunday, and a good third of it still needs it (obviously not me anymore at this point, but we'll get to that). I, was not free of this event this time, and lost power at around 8-9pm that night. Being the FANTASTIC individual that I am, I thought nothing of it at the time, figuring I'd just be uncomfortable for the evening, and keeping up conversations on my phone until about midnight.
Where in I truly knew I fucked up, as at about midnight exactly, cell service died completely. Like, period, not even emergency calls. At that point, I was a bit freaked, being in a pitch black home with the wind still whistling outside, but at that point, there wasn't much else I could do, so I went to bed.
In the morning, Monday, I took a look at the devastation. The apartment complex that I live at itself didn't get hit that bad, only one big tree in the back wooded area feel over (and it feel nice and cleanly into the waiting lawn and nowhere else) with a few other trees getting uprooted and fallen over, only one of which seeming to have anything to do with power. At that point, I wasn't worried to much still. Food can last up to a day or two in a fridge so long as you don't open it, and I hadn't, so at that point, I pretty much just went about 'dopamine detoxing' xD. I was dead board the entire day, I slept through half the afternoon in the sun like a cat, and I lived off what I could (mostly crackers and tap water, which thankfully still ran/was being heated by gas power for the time being). My mind was still upset about how I wouldn't get the pinnacle drops on my Hunter for Destiny 2 for Vog/wouldn't finish any of my weeklies for my warlock, but by days end I'd pretty much just paced around/slept the day away, so with no real light outside my work laptop screen, I just went back to bed.
Come the following Tuesday, I still had no power, and I was starting to get worried. My parents told me at this point my food was 'dead', so I pulled out what I could from the fridge (breads, some filtered water I still had in there, some apples that miraculously survived, along with some lunch meat that did the same), and set about living through the Tuesday. My brain had sufficiently dealt with the lack of stimulation from Monday, and now I set about keeping myself occupied as I could. Worth noting, by this point my apartment was a sweat box. Over the evening on Sunday and all through Monday, it had been steadily climbing from 72 F and relatively not humid, to a 'cozy' 79-80 degrees with INSANELY high humidity. Part of the reason I didn't do hardly anything on Monday was from the heat, but on this day I was determined to do something. I took out the garbage (that had still been there from the week or so before), I cleaned the bathroom (mostly the tub, sink and toilet), I read some of my childhood books that I still keep around (Bone series of graphic novels are still pretty dam good don't @'t me), and I eat what I feasibly could. By this point, my northerner (MN) body was not taking to this heat one bit, that combined with my face that has a near chronic (if not in fact chronic) oil issue that the humidity was happily helping me NOT work through. At this point I would spend pretty much all my afternoon with no cloths on (minus underwear) and still be sweating heavily, with the sweat doing absolutely nothing to help me as it was to humid to evaporate it. At this point, I was beginning to worry for my life, my mind an over active one, and not having any form of distraction really didn't help said worries that entered into my skull. At this point breathing by the end of the day was labored and difficult, and I had to take cold (there was no other option at this point as the oil had run dry most likely) showers to cool myself off for even 10 minutes of general relief. I tell you what, I will never take for granted the feeling of being cold when you step out of a shower again, I will welcome that feeling for the rest of my life. But yeah, at this point the sun was going down after I used my laptop to recharge my phone (using it sparingly now/turning it off/keeping it on power saver mode) and after keeping up with a few people here and there for my own sanity, I shut down everything and worked on trying to sleep. Which, did not come easy, considering I was sweating in bed by this point, with no fan or any form of anything to assist me, and the worry I wouldn't notice myself overheating if I did fall asleep. (thankfully, I woke up a few hours later with that exact problem, and just showered myself off and went back to bed until the morning, but still).
Now, we come to Wednesday, and what a Wednesday it was. By this point, my worries where in full swing. as stated above, I had no care. I was a sitting duck in a literal oven hoping for the best, and I couldn't take it anymore. Something one should know about me, I'm, MASSIVely controlling. Part of the reason I have Em and Shade the way I do as my sona's is because I (Shade) literally can not stand losing an ounce of control or understanding over a situation. I feel I need to be able to have at least a grasp on the things around me to feel comfortable, and well, by this point what little grasp I had was rapidly slipping away. Didn't help that when I went over to ask my apartment complex about the power, they said they didn't have any direct line to DEMCO (our provider), but one of them had a rummer that we wouldn't have power until Wednesday as a conservative estimate. (next Wednesday, not the one we are currently sitting on in the timeline). By this point, I went from 'barely managing' to 'absolute wreck' in a matter of walking back to my apartment. At this point I was running out of water, and I had food for days but I was starting to have trouble stomaching it (the stress along with the heat making any form of sustenance hard to keep down, over the last 3 days I've eaten a half bag of pretzels [big bag], 6 apples [just to eat them before they went bad/for the juice within them], and two meat filled sandwiches, and that's it. For anyone that knows me personally, you know that is hardly an afternoon for me normally, and yet I was only able to stomach all over the course three and a half days). My parents where getting worried to, and where pinging me repeatedly trying to offer assistance. They got me a hotel scheduled for Friday at the earliest (the closest one open was 4 hours away from me) and said they could get me a plane ticket by Saturday, but that still left me living in this state for two more days. I also (as stated above) did not have a car, and didn't have the heart to worry them further and tell them that I didn't. So I kept nodding along to all this, but was starting to panic more and more, especially as a friend of mine told me they where already stretched to thin and couldn't offer me anything. (worth noting as of the next day they offered me at least a place to stay for the weekend if I needed it after the fact, but as of currently present me in the tale does not know this). I was told by this friend to call the place that has my car to see if it had been fixed, but my hopes weren't high as I still figured they didn't have power, and it was why they hadn't contacted me yet. I sent a text over to the lady I had previously but got no response, and tried to call them but didn't get anyone to pick up as it was 4:50 by that point and they closed at 5, so at this point, I was carless, comfortless, probably malnourished in some capacity, and desperately unsure of my current future. The only saving grace was my apartment people where kind enough to let me charge my phone off their generator (but I didn't tell you that nor did it ever actually happen gives you a look) so I had at least a day's worth of searching and things ahead of me. But one final tidbit of info I got while trying to get any ETA on power was that DEMCO was actually hit really hard by the storm (the center of there power plant at least along with a lot of their power lines), so all the information I found pointed to it being weeks if not more before I'd see power, and that just sent me into a tail spin even more, combined with the fact that 'uber was down in my area' for obvious reasons. At this point I couldn't get any food down my throat, my mouth did it's best attempt at being dry it could in the humidity, and I couldn't even distract myself with reading, as I'd get a few pages in before my mind would flood with all the uncertainties and all the things I had no control over and all the avenues I had already tried but lead to nothing. At this point I was pretty sure I was going to die down here, and come late into the evening, my mind fully broke.
I openly wept despite the lose of water, I sobbed like a child, and I did not give a heck. It was probably 10-11 at night, laying on my pillow made my head so hot I couldn't sleep, and laying on the floor made it hard to breath/I couldn't get comfortable. I paced around the room for a good half hour before said sobbing, and I got on my hands and knees and I begged a higher being for assistance. It was not my proudest moment, I know there were and still are many more out there that need more assistance than me, but at this point, I was tired, I was fatigued, and I needed literally anything to make it so I could quite my mind for even a fraction of a moment so I could get some rest.
After said spell above and taking another cold shower, I was able to get a small amount of sleep. I woke up when the sun rose, and at that point just accepted everything. I took out the food from my refrigerator (I should have earlier but my mind needed some sort of hope to keep hold of) and dumped it into a double layered bag. I prepared myself mentally for the job of going to toss it, mostly because of the yet another cold shower combined with putting on clothing. After psyching myself up, I went and did that, carrying it all the way and then walking back, figuring the sun was high enough now that said car place was open.
I turned on my phone, and dam near feel to my knee's in thanks.
At this point, I received the message that I should have gotten last night (but I turned my phone off before I got it) from said friend saying they could house me for the weekend at least if need be depending on how the car worked out, as well as a text from the lady I texted the night previously saying that they had tried to contact me earlier, and that my car was ready to be picked up. At this point, I was elated, I thanked the lords for giving me more than what I dared to hope for, and even more so as I noticed that uber was back online in my area. I ordered one, got a guy willing to drive a good 30 minutes to get to me (I tipped him don't you worry), and then the gods said 'we'll do you one better champ' and literally 2 minutes before he got to my location the power came on in my apartment at about 9:50am. I dam near cried, got into the uber, had a nice chat with him about the whole situation (the first free spirited human contact I had in 3 and a half-four days) and got to getting my car back. Turned out it was a rather simple fix (that I detailed above) and I was able to get on my way easily, with 3/4th's a tank of gas still in my vehicle ready to take me where ever I needed to go from here on in.
I came back to an apartment still full of life (as it still is up until this point), and after a quick grocery run to grab a few things to keep me for a week or two more, I can finally breath easy, in more ways than one.
I am back to 'the land of the living', and I could not be more happy and thankful. At this point, I am just spending the day mentally recovering as best I can, and will do my best to be alive fully in the coming days.
Again, I know this isn't the worst experience ever compared to some I'm sure, but it's the worst thing I've ever had to live through. Living in an apartment with no heating in winter during collage for a month was one thing, but one can always put on more layers. I can't take off my skin, and these last three days fully cemented my vehement hatred for the heat compared to the cold.
But it,
Is finally over.
Long live a good rest of the day, a good Friday, and a good weekend. And may the rest still effected by this get the help they need, and may they not have to wait to much longer.
A brief bit of brevity to end this sower note on that I just was reminded of.
Top Text: I'll have you know I had my power out for four-ish Days
Another Note to preface this, I did not have access to a car for 99% of this, because as of 2 weeks ago Monday, I noticed it was leaking transmission fluid (I had some transmission issues before related to the fluid as well that I needed checked), and last Monday, I took it in so they could give it a look again (learned later all this it just deeded it's transmission drain torqued and then a top off of the missing fluid, which they did for free thankfully as they where supposed to do that before, BUT anyway, just wanted that to be known as a general thing before I get into it all).
SO,
I currently live down in Louisiana (have been working on trying to change that for half a year now but hasn't really been working out x3), and for those that know, we got hit by a pretty massive hurricane. Lower half of the state lost power at various points on Sunday, and a good third of it still needs it (obviously not me anymore at this point, but we'll get to that). I, was not free of this event this time, and lost power at around 8-9pm that night. Being the FANTASTIC individual that I am, I thought nothing of it at the time, figuring I'd just be uncomfortable for the evening, and keeping up conversations on my phone until about midnight.
Where in I truly knew I fucked up, as at about midnight exactly, cell service died completely. Like, period, not even emergency calls. At that point, I was a bit freaked, being in a pitch black home with the wind still whistling outside, but at that point, there wasn't much else I could do, so I went to bed.
In the morning, Monday, I took a look at the devastation. The apartment complex that I live at itself didn't get hit that bad, only one big tree in the back wooded area feel over (and it feel nice and cleanly into the waiting lawn and nowhere else) with a few other trees getting uprooted and fallen over, only one of which seeming to have anything to do with power. At that point, I wasn't worried to much still. Food can last up to a day or two in a fridge so long as you don't open it, and I hadn't, so at that point, I pretty much just went about 'dopamine detoxing' xD. I was dead board the entire day, I slept through half the afternoon in the sun like a cat, and I lived off what I could (mostly crackers and tap water, which thankfully still ran/was being heated by gas power for the time being). My mind was still upset about how I wouldn't get the pinnacle drops on my Hunter for Destiny 2 for Vog/wouldn't finish any of my weeklies for my warlock, but by days end I'd pretty much just paced around/slept the day away, so with no real light outside my work laptop screen, I just went back to bed.
Come the following Tuesday, I still had no power, and I was starting to get worried. My parents told me at this point my food was 'dead', so I pulled out what I could from the fridge (breads, some filtered water I still had in there, some apples that miraculously survived, along with some lunch meat that did the same), and set about living through the Tuesday. My brain had sufficiently dealt with the lack of stimulation from Monday, and now I set about keeping myself occupied as I could. Worth noting, by this point my apartment was a sweat box. Over the evening on Sunday and all through Monday, it had been steadily climbing from 72 F and relatively not humid, to a 'cozy' 79-80 degrees with INSANELY high humidity. Part of the reason I didn't do hardly anything on Monday was from the heat, but on this day I was determined to do something. I took out the garbage (that had still been there from the week or so before), I cleaned the bathroom (mostly the tub, sink and toilet), I read some of my childhood books that I still keep around (Bone series of graphic novels are still pretty dam good don't @'t me), and I eat what I feasibly could. By this point, my northerner (MN) body was not taking to this heat one bit, that combined with my face that has a near chronic (if not in fact chronic) oil issue that the humidity was happily helping me NOT work through. At this point I would spend pretty much all my afternoon with no cloths on (minus underwear) and still be sweating heavily, with the sweat doing absolutely nothing to help me as it was to humid to evaporate it. At this point, I was beginning to worry for my life, my mind an over active one, and not having any form of distraction really didn't help said worries that entered into my skull. At this point breathing by the end of the day was labored and difficult, and I had to take cold (there was no other option at this point as the oil had run dry most likely) showers to cool myself off for even 10 minutes of general relief. I tell you what, I will never take for granted the feeling of being cold when you step out of a shower again, I will welcome that feeling for the rest of my life. But yeah, at this point the sun was going down after I used my laptop to recharge my phone (using it sparingly now/turning it off/keeping it on power saver mode) and after keeping up with a few people here and there for my own sanity, I shut down everything and worked on trying to sleep. Which, did not come easy, considering I was sweating in bed by this point, with no fan or any form of anything to assist me, and the worry I wouldn't notice myself overheating if I did fall asleep. (thankfully, I woke up a few hours later with that exact problem, and just showered myself off and went back to bed until the morning, but still).
Now, we come to Wednesday, and what a Wednesday it was. By this point, my worries where in full swing. as stated above, I had no care. I was a sitting duck in a literal oven hoping for the best, and I couldn't take it anymore. Something one should know about me, I'm, MASSIVely controlling. Part of the reason I have Em and Shade the way I do as my sona's is because I (Shade) literally can not stand losing an ounce of control or understanding over a situation. I feel I need to be able to have at least a grasp on the things around me to feel comfortable, and well, by this point what little grasp I had was rapidly slipping away. Didn't help that when I went over to ask my apartment complex about the power, they said they didn't have any direct line to DEMCO (our provider), but one of them had a rummer that we wouldn't have power until Wednesday as a conservative estimate. (next Wednesday, not the one we are currently sitting on in the timeline). By this point, I went from 'barely managing' to 'absolute wreck' in a matter of walking back to my apartment. At this point I was running out of water, and I had food for days but I was starting to have trouble stomaching it (the stress along with the heat making any form of sustenance hard to keep down, over the last 3 days I've eaten a half bag of pretzels [big bag], 6 apples [just to eat them before they went bad/for the juice within them], and two meat filled sandwiches, and that's it. For anyone that knows me personally, you know that is hardly an afternoon for me normally, and yet I was only able to stomach all over the course three and a half days). My parents where getting worried to, and where pinging me repeatedly trying to offer assistance. They got me a hotel scheduled for Friday at the earliest (the closest one open was 4 hours away from me) and said they could get me a plane ticket by Saturday, but that still left me living in this state for two more days. I also (as stated above) did not have a car, and didn't have the heart to worry them further and tell them that I didn't. So I kept nodding along to all this, but was starting to panic more and more, especially as a friend of mine told me they where already stretched to thin and couldn't offer me anything. (worth noting as of the next day they offered me at least a place to stay for the weekend if I needed it after the fact, but as of currently present me in the tale does not know this). I was told by this friend to call the place that has my car to see if it had been fixed, but my hopes weren't high as I still figured they didn't have power, and it was why they hadn't contacted me yet. I sent a text over to the lady I had previously but got no response, and tried to call them but didn't get anyone to pick up as it was 4:50 by that point and they closed at 5, so at this point, I was carless, comfortless, probably malnourished in some capacity, and desperately unsure of my current future. The only saving grace was my apartment people where kind enough to let me charge my phone off their generator (but I didn't tell you that nor did it ever actually happen gives you a look) so I had at least a day's worth of searching and things ahead of me. But one final tidbit of info I got while trying to get any ETA on power was that DEMCO was actually hit really hard by the storm (the center of there power plant at least along with a lot of their power lines), so all the information I found pointed to it being weeks if not more before I'd see power, and that just sent me into a tail spin even more, combined with the fact that 'uber was down in my area' for obvious reasons. At this point I couldn't get any food down my throat, my mouth did it's best attempt at being dry it could in the humidity, and I couldn't even distract myself with reading, as I'd get a few pages in before my mind would flood with all the uncertainties and all the things I had no control over and all the avenues I had already tried but lead to nothing. At this point I was pretty sure I was going to die down here, and come late into the evening, my mind fully broke.
I openly wept despite the lose of water, I sobbed like a child, and I did not give a heck. It was probably 10-11 at night, laying on my pillow made my head so hot I couldn't sleep, and laying on the floor made it hard to breath/I couldn't get comfortable. I paced around the room for a good half hour before said sobbing, and I got on my hands and knees and I begged a higher being for assistance. It was not my proudest moment, I know there were and still are many more out there that need more assistance than me, but at this point, I was tired, I was fatigued, and I needed literally anything to make it so I could quite my mind for even a fraction of a moment so I could get some rest.
After said spell above and taking another cold shower, I was able to get a small amount of sleep. I woke up when the sun rose, and at that point just accepted everything. I took out the food from my refrigerator (I should have earlier but my mind needed some sort of hope to keep hold of) and dumped it into a double layered bag. I prepared myself mentally for the job of going to toss it, mostly because of the yet another cold shower combined with putting on clothing. After psyching myself up, I went and did that, carrying it all the way and then walking back, figuring the sun was high enough now that said car place was open.
I turned on my phone, and dam near feel to my knee's in thanks.
At this point, I received the message that I should have gotten last night (but I turned my phone off before I got it) from said friend saying they could house me for the weekend at least if need be depending on how the car worked out, as well as a text from the lady I texted the night previously saying that they had tried to contact me earlier, and that my car was ready to be picked up. At this point, I was elated, I thanked the lords for giving me more than what I dared to hope for, and even more so as I noticed that uber was back online in my area. I ordered one, got a guy willing to drive a good 30 minutes to get to me (I tipped him don't you worry), and then the gods said 'we'll do you one better champ' and literally 2 minutes before he got to my location the power came on in my apartment at about 9:50am. I dam near cried, got into the uber, had a nice chat with him about the whole situation (the first free spirited human contact I had in 3 and a half-four days) and got to getting my car back. Turned out it was a rather simple fix (that I detailed above) and I was able to get on my way easily, with 3/4th's a tank of gas still in my vehicle ready to take me where ever I needed to go from here on in.
I came back to an apartment still full of life (as it still is up until this point), and after a quick grocery run to grab a few things to keep me for a week or two more, I can finally breath easy, in more ways than one.
I am back to 'the land of the living', and I could not be more happy and thankful. At this point, I am just spending the day mentally recovering as best I can, and will do my best to be alive fully in the coming days.
Again, I know this isn't the worst experience ever compared to some I'm sure, but it's the worst thing I've ever had to live through. Living in an apartment with no heating in winter during collage for a month was one thing, but one can always put on more layers. I can't take off my skin, and these last three days fully cemented my vehement hatred for the heat compared to the cold.
But it,
Is finally over.
Long live a good rest of the day, a good Friday, and a good weekend. And may the rest still effected by this get the help they need, and may they not have to wait to much longer.
A brief bit of brevity to end this sower note on that I just was reminded of.
Top Text: I'll have you know I had my power out for four-ish Days
I'll let Amy know of the whole thing, take it easy.
But yeah, main thing isn't the heat but the humidity. Though if it gets humid too then yea, that's even more terrible ; v ; . I know in the UK I was told it can get to that level for a few weeks on end, but the main thing is the 'wet bulb' temp, and the fact that as you say, I had no fans or energy to power them even if I did. (well, I have a small fan but anyway). So main danger for me was the fact the water could not evaporate off my person, so I couldn't get rid of heat, and so my panic above x3. (though as stated in another comment above the main thing that 'broke' me was the lack of car, would have been so much more fine if I hadn't been a niny and forget to bug them for updates on it over the course of the week prior ; v ; ).
But yes, I appreciate the comment none the less, and hope you both stay well over there ; v ; keep hydrated and keep up with the fans! (and appreciate you informing herrrr!)
Honestly it sounds scary and it must have been really tough just being alone with "your mind" and with nothing else for days... like being inside of the void of your head. Also not having any potable water, barely food, electricity and way to cool yourself it's awful (and for the rest of the people who were struggling like you)
Welcome back Shade!!! and happy to hear you're safe now!! I hope returning to the place again doesn't give you much ptsd 😟
It very much was, as stated above, the main thing was my lack of vehicle that really just destroyed my mental state. If I at least had that I knew I could get somewhere, but not having it really hit me hard. And yeah, mainly my mind itself just not having any outlet for stress relief made things all the worse, as great as reading is it can't 'force' my mind to engage with it, I have to do that myself, which when you got so many worries piled in there it makes it, beyond difficult.
But yeah, I'm back now, and glad to be so ; v ; . Honestly I'm happy I haven't been hit to bad by that. The only thing that hits me now is if I'm in a dark room, but turning on the light and having it turn on brings much needed relief. I'm working back to a stable state, and again, appreciate the sympathies. Thanks for it and the comment Amy ; v ;