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confession time
2 years ago
General
During confuzzled this year I had a really amazing chat with a very good friend, and at one point they listed all these really lovely qualities that they saw in me, called me genuine and kind and caring, called me honest, and trustworthy and I certainly aspire to be those things, but there's always this bit of me at the back that reminds me that I've not been being honest with folk in the past and it weighs on me a lot.
Hearing someone I really care about calling me honest was kinda the thing that broke me, made me realize I really need to confess, rip the band aid off and just...deal with the consequences of my past actions. It's just been eating at me because so many of you have so much faith in me these days and that there are soo many of you.
For years I was finding stock images and anime art and drawing over the top to steal the poses. Then drawing my own art into those poses. I certainly didn't do it all the time. Mainly when I was being lazy and uninspired on how to draw certain poses. But yeah it was certainly something I used to do.
I'm not gonna make excuses. I haven't done it for a long while but that doesn't excuse that it was in my past. It's something I absolutely did and something i've carried with me for a long time, I'm sorry.
I’ve been too much of a coward to face up to it. Not wanting people to be disappointed in me. Not wanting to open myself up to hate coming from people I care about. It was all those things that have been preventing me from saying anything.
I'm going to keep drawing and hope people eventually understand that I'm not that person these days and havent been for a long time. I understand that for some folk I may have destroyed their trust in me and it's going to take a while to rebuild and for some folk it just might not be fixable.
I'm going to turn off comments, mainly cause i don't want folk fighting on my behalf or trying to defend me against people who might be cross, but I will keep notes open if anyone feels the need to say something direct to me.
I want to be worthy of being called honest and genuine and I can’t do that with that stuff in my past, but hopefully going forward I can begin building that properly.
Once again. Sorry.
Hearing someone I really care about calling me honest was kinda the thing that broke me, made me realize I really need to confess, rip the band aid off and just...deal with the consequences of my past actions. It's just been eating at me because so many of you have so much faith in me these days and that there are soo many of you.
For years I was finding stock images and anime art and drawing over the top to steal the poses. Then drawing my own art into those poses. I certainly didn't do it all the time. Mainly when I was being lazy and uninspired on how to draw certain poses. But yeah it was certainly something I used to do.
I'm not gonna make excuses. I haven't done it for a long while but that doesn't excuse that it was in my past. It's something I absolutely did and something i've carried with me for a long time, I'm sorry.
I’ve been too much of a coward to face up to it. Not wanting people to be disappointed in me. Not wanting to open myself up to hate coming from people I care about. It was all those things that have been preventing me from saying anything.
I'm going to keep drawing and hope people eventually understand that I'm not that person these days and havent been for a long time. I understand that for some folk I may have destroyed their trust in me and it's going to take a while to rebuild and for some folk it just might not be fixable.
I'm going to turn off comments, mainly cause i don't want folk fighting on my behalf or trying to defend me against people who might be cross, but I will keep notes open if anyone feels the need to say something direct to me.
I want to be worthy of being called honest and genuine and I can’t do that with that stuff in my past, but hopefully going forward I can begin building that properly.
Once again. Sorry.
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