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Why do I dig?
2 years ago
General
When my mental health gets in a bad way. I tend to disappear. I dig down and away from everyone and kinda go mute online and....Well...Everywhere. I'm not hugely active on social media at the best of times and I can go days/weeks/months without speaking to friends so no one really ever notices when I go dark. Which makes me feel more lost, I don't have anyone close that I talk to every day. I don't know why i do that. I just get tangled up in all this dark and shut down, and it gets tricky to drag myself back up.
I'm pretty sure im in the stage of life that women call perimenopausal. Its basically a year where your body screws with you until its ready for the main menopause which in itself can screw you up for....get this....Seven years. Perimenopausal screws around with your mood and brain and just plays havok with a bunch of stuff to get you ready for the proper 7 year fight, and my mood swings have been pretty frikkin abysmal and my brain is just doing it's own thing a lot of time, theres been a lot of things like gravy granuals in the fridge and milk in cupboards and just...i'm being more of a liability than normal, thats for certain.
So I've been feeling really down about myself in every aspect of what that entails, my life, my art, my body, my little side. No stone has been left un-turned and I'm just being woefully fragile right now. I'm feeling today is a brighter day...which is how i'm managing to write this and respond to notes and stuff and picking back up, Its making concentrating on comics difficult...heck it's making concentrating on anything difficult which considering Ive just started a diploma course...this should be interesting but if this is how it's gonna be for the next seven years then life has just gotten a bit trickier.
I mention this because I might not be in the best state to help others right now. I get a lot of notes asking for advice or just random trauma dumping because my comic has always attracted people who have felt lost/alone about this subject matter so it makes sense I get messaged a lot with people telling me their life stories and various issues...but at the moment im kinda feeling a bit swamped by my own issues and as much as that sounds really self indulgent...I'm just...I'm sorry if i'm coming across as blunt or uncaring or just a bit aggressive and stuff at the moment. That's really not me, but it might be me for a little while until i work out how to get myself under control a bit better. So sorry lots in advance
I'm pretty sure im in the stage of life that women call perimenopausal. Its basically a year where your body screws with you until its ready for the main menopause which in itself can screw you up for....get this....Seven years. Perimenopausal screws around with your mood and brain and just plays havok with a bunch of stuff to get you ready for the proper 7 year fight, and my mood swings have been pretty frikkin abysmal and my brain is just doing it's own thing a lot of time, theres been a lot of things like gravy granuals in the fridge and milk in cupboards and just...i'm being more of a liability than normal, thats for certain.
So I've been feeling really down about myself in every aspect of what that entails, my life, my art, my body, my little side. No stone has been left un-turned and I'm just being woefully fragile right now. I'm feeling today is a brighter day...which is how i'm managing to write this and respond to notes and stuff and picking back up, Its making concentrating on comics difficult...heck it's making concentrating on anything difficult which considering Ive just started a diploma course...this should be interesting but if this is how it's gonna be for the next seven years then life has just gotten a bit trickier.
I mention this because I might not be in the best state to help others right now. I get a lot of notes asking for advice or just random trauma dumping because my comic has always attracted people who have felt lost/alone about this subject matter so it makes sense I get messaged a lot with people telling me their life stories and various issues...but at the moment im kinda feeling a bit swamped by my own issues and as much as that sounds really self indulgent...I'm just...I'm sorry if i'm coming across as blunt or uncaring or just a bit aggressive and stuff at the moment. That's really not me, but it might be me for a little while until i work out how to get myself under control a bit better. So sorry lots in advance
Just do what you must to feel better yourself. And when you're back to a nominal status, then you can consider helping everyone else. But in the meantime, focus on yourself. Talk with people you want to talk to. Do things you want to do. Be with those who you feel good. :3
We'll still be here once you're better. Your comic will still be enjoyed. And you'll be a happier person, yourself. :3
As for the rest of your thoughts, yes, I agree. Doing self-care, talking to people who uplift... those are pretty universally good things to do.
Ms. Sammy, be good to yourself. Take care of you. You can't pour from an empty pitcher. I know that I'm not the only one who wants to see where CTN, Shine, Babysitter Blues, House Broken, and N.U.R.S.E.R.Y. are going and want to see them continue, but at the same time, I am also not the only one who understands that taking care of the writer and author come first.
Be well and bless you. May your recovery back to yourself be as easy on you as it can be. I think I speak for everyone when I say "We will be here waiting and ready to help how we can."
and i feel ya with the menopause, i cant get one, but when my mom went through that.... lets just say, was a hard time for us all
Oh well, time to send squiggle to Mexico to get all the female plumbing cut out and put them on HRT so they won't need to go through this biology nonsense.
But I doubt the NHS is gonna do any surgery for you cause you Agender, it's hard enough to get it as a trans person, so international private clinics be your best chance
I would not advise it.
I didn't do HRT and I came through it fine. In fact menopause is really the best thing ever. No more cramps, no more messy periods, no more worrying about pregnancy. I also got horny as hell for a while there. The irregularity of the periods can be a bit of a problem, but being on injectable birth control was far worse--I had a constant period for like a year and a half, and got horrible acne that's still left dark marks on my cheeks.
Menopause has been really freeing. It's like getting your childhood back. Yeah, the hormones tapered off and I'm not nearly so interested in sex now, partly because of a lack of lubrication, but that's why God invented KY jelly, right?
It's different for every woman, of course. My mom got loopy from hers (thought she was pregnant despite Dad having had a vasectomy 20 years earlier...) but back then, folks didn't know as much about stuff like this as we do now; and of course nobody talked about it, so it was this big horrible SECRET thing that women suffered through.
Trust me, though. You're gonna love the freedom once it's over with!
I am looking forward to the no periods thing. I never wanted kids to begin with so all of that stuff being over is definitely a perk of teh whole process
I'd provide a GIF of the clip I barely remember from Tenchi Muyo as a kid but my Google-fu is lacking today.
It's natural to assess everything when you're approaching a big change. Hope you have some more good days coming up.
And you're valid for needing to take care of yourself first, take it easy and I'm not great at starting convos but if you ever did wanna chat I'm around, I tend to only reach out to folks when I have something interesting to say so... I don't a bunch.
Were here if you need us even if its just to vent. Your health comes first like i say alot with your art. things can wait till your in the right place or your feeling better.
Till then theres people out there who will listen to you too and understand. Also you've had a lot on your plate recently so id say take a break focous on something you want to do.
As hoggle said in labrynth if you need us. Same offer to your daddy if you need us just call.