Hello. It's been quite a while.

The last half of the year were quite challenging and a lot of negative events happened that took a massive toll on my mental health, to the point where I am currently looking for the therapy. On top of constant stress due to loved ones being in Ukraine (I've emigrated last year just on the day when the war broke), I've been dealing with massive mental problems, that's been boiling in me for years since my grandma's diagnose with cancer and her horrible passing. The chain of tragedies since then mentally broke me apart and I am no longer a person I've used to be 5 years ago. Since Russia invaded Ukraine, I've been separated from my family and haven't seen neither my mom, my other grandma and brother with niece in 1.5 years. If not the kindness and patience of my boyfriend and his wonderful family, it could been a complete ruin.

Then the summer hit, and do it got so much worse. Kachovka's dam cynical explosion absolutely broke my heart apart, and things were not easy since. My brother's apartment suffered via the shockwave, so he had to replace the windows and the doors. Thankfully, his family was away by that time. But this event made my fears feel even so real. And then.. My friend's boyfriend drowned, in a horrible tragic accident, my friend's life completely turned upside down with no bright future whatsoever, and I lost someone i personally knew, met and interacted with. And I was too far to be with my friend in this horrible moment.

Since then, I've had a dark period that I am not proud of and the way I've acted towards the people I love so deeply. I couldn't talk to my closest ones, I've closed up and been simply crying for days. So I had to took myself together. Currently, I'm looking for a manual work to get my head in order and integrate into the absolutely new society for me. It's not smooth and I've been rejected already on my recent interview, and while I wait with anxiety I do my commissions. I'm really sorry they are going so slow - the creativity part of mine got affected the most by all the stress endured during this few months.

• If somehow you wish to support me - you can buy me a ko-fi. I'll do my best to thank you later when my situation will improve for just a little. •

Will I start posting again? I'm not sure if I still feel comfortable with it enough to be frank, but we will see.
Thank you for your attention and forgive me for my silence. Hope you are all safe.
And hope to see you all soon.