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I had a job interview today...
2 years ago
Today was a big day. As you all know, I've been looking really hard for work, trying to find something I can do with my messed up hands, and my mental health issues. I finally found a factory job through a friend of mine, and today I had a job interview. It went rather well, but the whole process made me realize something...
The job was a very hard labor job, working in a factory to manufactor materials. It would be intensive, dangerous, and physically demanding. The commute alone was 1 hour of driving on difficult, winding backroads. The job would pay $20 an hour, but it would be incredibly demanding of me.
As I was driving home, I kept thinking about something the HR lady said to me during the interview: "Why did you stop doing your art?" And as i kept thinking about that, as well as years of occurances and events, a realization hit me like a laser beam to the brain, like a neuron activated a switch inside me:
"Why did I stop doing my art? Why would i put myself through such intensive labor, and not get a retail job literally a minute from my house? What the fuck am I doing?"
It just... hit me like a train. It filled me with such a fire. What the fuck AM i doing? Why work so hard, so intensely, so dangeroisly, and be too tired to art, when i could literally work an easy retail job minutes from my apartment? I just... I was so worried about being around customers, around random people, and i do have anxiety about that, but is that really worse than working in a dangrous factory an hour away every day? I dont think so. If i just pushed through the damn burnout, i could do art an just... you know... be successful? Make decent money? People have been asking for comnissions for ages, and folks say i gotta raise my prices constantly. If i just... did the shit i had to do, AND did a simple retail job? Id be fuckin golden. Why am i not doing that?? What is my PROBLEM? i just... gotta do it
And i will.
Im sorry its taken me so long...
Stay tuned for more info n such
The job was a very hard labor job, working in a factory to manufactor materials. It would be intensive, dangerous, and physically demanding. The commute alone was 1 hour of driving on difficult, winding backroads. The job would pay $20 an hour, but it would be incredibly demanding of me.
As I was driving home, I kept thinking about something the HR lady said to me during the interview: "Why did you stop doing your art?" And as i kept thinking about that, as well as years of occurances and events, a realization hit me like a laser beam to the brain, like a neuron activated a switch inside me:
"Why did I stop doing my art? Why would i put myself through such intensive labor, and not get a retail job literally a minute from my house? What the fuck am I doing?"
It just... hit me like a train. It filled me with such a fire. What the fuck AM i doing? Why work so hard, so intensely, so dangeroisly, and be too tired to art, when i could literally work an easy retail job minutes from my apartment? I just... I was so worried about being around customers, around random people, and i do have anxiety about that, but is that really worse than working in a dangrous factory an hour away every day? I dont think so. If i just pushed through the damn burnout, i could do art an just... you know... be successful? Make decent money? People have been asking for comnissions for ages, and folks say i gotta raise my prices constantly. If i just... did the shit i had to do, AND did a simple retail job? Id be fuckin golden. Why am i not doing that?? What is my PROBLEM? i just... gotta do it
And i will.
Im sorry its taken me so long...
Stay tuned for more info n such
Just try to hold onto that fire. You'll need it.
A long commute to a dangerous job is not rewarding. Especially when the commute is long during nice weather. Just imagine a severe storm coming through while you're making that commute.
If you are prone to anxiety, that could easily cause you to make a simple slip when not paying full attention.
If that happens in a retail job, it might be a bit embarrassing. If it happens in a hard labor job, someone can get seriously hurt.
Also, as you work retail, you become accustomed to dealing with people and learn how to handle any stressful situations. With a hard labor job, you need to always be 100% vigilant, and even learning what to watch out for, you can never lose focus. In the end, it would far more stressful.
I hope that everything works out and you're able to find that perfect balance of having a job you can handle, along with getting back to having fun drawing art.