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2 years ago
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I've horded soo much art over the last year that I haven't posted. I'm gonna try and start uploading stuff again. I get...Panicky about uploading sometimes. I feel like an attention hog and worry people think im just trying to get all the attention, which i'm not...But it settles in my head and messes with me so I end up hording everything other than shine pages.
I'm sorry if i havent posted the art ive drawn for you. I'll get round to it, honest. Also dont wait for me to post if you have art from me, feel free to upload to your own galleries, don't wait on my behalf okay.
The past 10 days have been manic to say the least. Monday was my first day back at school starting on the proper diploma that'll last 2 years and then if i can jump through all the hoops I'll finally be qualified to go it on my own as a counsellor. So Im out on Mondays and tuesdays and a lot of saturdays and sundays...and then it gets trickier when later in the year i start a placement and start seeing real clients so thats obviously gonna swallow even more of my time.
I feel very caught in a whirlwind at the moment. because we had a monday a tuesday a saturday and a monday already spending that long digging around in your own head and discussing stuff that comes up. I promised myself i wouldn't be the shy wallflower this year and trying to push myself to be out there more has...errr..its been a mixed bag of success so far.
Accidentally walked myself into a rather triggering event on the saturday where we were trying to get ourselves into study groups and how do you pick fairly who goes in which group. Two groups of five people and one group of 4, so three columns were drawn on the whiteboard for the three groups and people could write their name in any list. Well trying to be more assertive than normal where i probably would have been the last person picking. I went up first and wrote my name in a column. Feeling pretty happy with myself that id been brave enough to do that.
Then everyone completely filled the other two columns so no one went to be in the same column as me.
That really messed with me, put me right back to day one of my new school after moving back up to scotland. I had a really strong english accent and basically being in a rural scottish school....no one would go near me. people, including adults would change the side of teh road they were walking on. I remember one girl being forced by the teacher to share her pens on my first day and at the end of teh day the girl just threw them all in the bin saying they'd been infected by me.
So to see my name all alone in that column until the last minute where the last few people had no choice but to be in my group...felt very...um..not that great. I tried to reason with myself that actually it wasn't that people didnt want to be with me, it was more that there were folk in the other two groups that others wanted to be with. I dunno. It just left me feeling quite isolated.
But hey, it's early days. I'm sure i'll get some allies and even if i dont, I still have to get through the course. Its not a popularity contest, but yeah the course feels like it's off to a bit of a shaky start for me personally
I'm sorry if i havent posted the art ive drawn for you. I'll get round to it, honest. Also dont wait for me to post if you have art from me, feel free to upload to your own galleries, don't wait on my behalf okay.
The past 10 days have been manic to say the least. Monday was my first day back at school starting on the proper diploma that'll last 2 years and then if i can jump through all the hoops I'll finally be qualified to go it on my own as a counsellor. So Im out on Mondays and tuesdays and a lot of saturdays and sundays...and then it gets trickier when later in the year i start a placement and start seeing real clients so thats obviously gonna swallow even more of my time.
I feel very caught in a whirlwind at the moment. because we had a monday a tuesday a saturday and a monday already spending that long digging around in your own head and discussing stuff that comes up. I promised myself i wouldn't be the shy wallflower this year and trying to push myself to be out there more has...errr..its been a mixed bag of success so far.
Accidentally walked myself into a rather triggering event on the saturday where we were trying to get ourselves into study groups and how do you pick fairly who goes in which group. Two groups of five people and one group of 4, so three columns were drawn on the whiteboard for the three groups and people could write their name in any list. Well trying to be more assertive than normal where i probably would have been the last person picking. I went up first and wrote my name in a column. Feeling pretty happy with myself that id been brave enough to do that.
Then everyone completely filled the other two columns so no one went to be in the same column as me.
That really messed with me, put me right back to day one of my new school after moving back up to scotland. I had a really strong english accent and basically being in a rural scottish school....no one would go near me. people, including adults would change the side of teh road they were walking on. I remember one girl being forced by the teacher to share her pens on my first day and at the end of teh day the girl just threw them all in the bin saying they'd been infected by me.
So to see my name all alone in that column until the last minute where the last few people had no choice but to be in my group...felt very...um..not that great. I tried to reason with myself that actually it wasn't that people didnt want to be with me, it was more that there were folk in the other two groups that others wanted to be with. I dunno. It just left me feeling quite isolated.
But hey, it's early days. I'm sure i'll get some allies and even if i dont, I still have to get through the course. Its not a popularity contest, but yeah the course feels like it's off to a bit of a shaky start for me personally
Keep it up; I don't want to speak for others, but I personally am proud of the (baby) steps you're taking! <3
Rough first day. Not to sound like a fortune cookie but "this too shall pass".
You're making steps to be where you wanna be and that's the important thing. In two years time you'll hopefully not even look back on the rough bits.
As to the art - post it! Post it all! We needs it!
That said, you may be an outlier. If someone took a photo of you and ten other people and it was shown to a stranger, asking them “one of these people is unusual, point them out”, would they consistently point at you? For instance if you were Andre the Giant, you would win this contest. So if that is the case, I would work on not taking this personally, even though it is a setback. People can be scaredy and they tend to avoid anything too unusual.
Don't think of publishing stuff as being a attention hog. Think of it as doing what people want to see from you. Giving your fans what they want.
I'm sorry to read that your first day back didn't go so well, but I know you're a kind, funny and a generally lovely person to be around, so I'm certain you'll make friends soon enough! 🥰🤗💙🩵
Stay strong and see if you can find some cool people to hang out with at school.
And I feel for you. I was always one of the last to get picked if there was a choice.
At least For the Time being. Posting just 10 images/comic pages wont be that big of a deal. Plenty of other ppl out there that end up posting well over 20 + images per week
At least after a month or two. the amount of artwork/comic pages you do have piled up. will be less.
^this.
Also I hated group projects, from 1st grade all through tech school. But more art is always welcomed. Flood our inboxes with Babystar notifications. Let the adorablness flow freely...
Okay maybe a bit over dramatic, but its been an odd day.
GO STAR, GO STAR! I'M CHEERING FOR YOU, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU!!!
Ahh, and don't take class personally, anyway you are there to get your diploma and requiered knowlage, not to make friends with everyone. There will always be someone who doesn't like you, it's fine, don't sweat it.
As for the columns, by going first you may have been perceived as the boss as you showed assertiveness. For others who don't know you it might have felt like it would be 'your' group, and by joining, they will have to follow your ideas, they assuming you'll be autocratic? I don't know, but I would hope it wasn't personal. As you say early days, and hopefully you will all gel and learn about each other over the next couple of years. ^^
Can't wait to see more art from you that's been hoarded. Might see a few gems (pun absolutely intended!)
Like you said, people have reasons. Dazzle them with brilliance and they'll come to see your worth.
Even the simple number off 1-2-3-1-2-3, etc. is easier on people, I think.