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Yoo gotta roll with it.
a year ago
General
So. It's been a while since I wrote anything here. I tend to go quiet when stuff is stressy, so sorry about that.
So let's catch up on stuff huh.
My cultural Identity Theory presentation went well, and then I got my big essay back that is one of the main hurdles to jump in becoming qualified to practice counselling.....The constructive feedback was essentially a character assassination, and really hurt to read. I passed by the very very skin of my teeth but boy the feedback was brutal and I'm still reeling from it if i'm honest. I haven't even shared it with Paul because it was...quite frankly, humiliating and not in the fun sense. Still the dust has settled to a large extent, a pass is a pass, and I'm trying to look at this more from a...well I guess I have plenty of room for improvement and it wasn't a fail, so, that's a result. I hadn't quite expected to get quite that close to failing, but in my defense the recording session I was being graded on was the day after I had come back from my Dad's funeral, so it certainly wasn't my best work.
In other news it's confuzzled at the moment and I am not there, my school work has largely kept me away from anything fun and that's a bit rubbish really. FOMO has absolutely kicked in and I miss seeing everyone and hanging out and I feel like I've kinda largely just been left at home. Part of me gets by by thinking I'm too little to join in, and then missing out on stuff feels easier, like maybe one day when I'm bigger, then I found a new con starting up in Portsmouth in September, it happens just before my final year starts at school, so it wont clash with anything.
https://furthersouth.uk/registration/
A few folk have warned me not to go as the con has tried unsuccessfully to start for a few years now, so it's likely to be a complete disaster, but I had already booked my room before I heard about the potential negative stuff. Then I thought, hey even if the con isn't actually that well organised, if I can get enough of my friends to come too, we can essentially just hang at a hotel for the 4 days and sorta just make it fun. Like an accidental bab take over. or like a furmeet that lasts 4 days, just hang out no pressure. Now that sounds like fun. So yeah, me and daddy are booked to go.
It's my birfday on the 4th of June, and um. I don't think we're doing anything, Daddy was made redundant so anything he pays for or buys kinda comes outta our savings, so it doesnt make any sense to do anything, so that means there's a chance i'll be around for my birfday so mebbe i can draw people some stuff, and if not on the 4th then maybe on the 6th. The 6th was my dad's birfday and I think that is gonna be a hard day to tackle, so drawing people cute stuff might help distract me from the sad stuff. I'll keep folk up to date when I know what's going on.
Anyway I think thats most stuff. My Mum is still in the hospital but she's slowly improving as they tweak her medication, Paul continues to fight for his redundancy package, our car broke but paul's dad was getting rid of his car so looks like we're gonna get his old car so that's very very lucky, Our microwave died yesterday but Paul bought it in 1995 (so it's older than most of you) SO I think it was allowed to go to silicon heaven. And I think that really is everything up to date now mostly.
So let's catch up on stuff huh.
My cultural Identity Theory presentation went well, and then I got my big essay back that is one of the main hurdles to jump in becoming qualified to practice counselling.....The constructive feedback was essentially a character assassination, and really hurt to read. I passed by the very very skin of my teeth but boy the feedback was brutal and I'm still reeling from it if i'm honest. I haven't even shared it with Paul because it was...quite frankly, humiliating and not in the fun sense. Still the dust has settled to a large extent, a pass is a pass, and I'm trying to look at this more from a...well I guess I have plenty of room for improvement and it wasn't a fail, so, that's a result. I hadn't quite expected to get quite that close to failing, but in my defense the recording session I was being graded on was the day after I had come back from my Dad's funeral, so it certainly wasn't my best work.
In other news it's confuzzled at the moment and I am not there, my school work has largely kept me away from anything fun and that's a bit rubbish really. FOMO has absolutely kicked in and I miss seeing everyone and hanging out and I feel like I've kinda largely just been left at home. Part of me gets by by thinking I'm too little to join in, and then missing out on stuff feels easier, like maybe one day when I'm bigger, then I found a new con starting up in Portsmouth in September, it happens just before my final year starts at school, so it wont clash with anything.
https://furthersouth.uk/registration/
A few folk have warned me not to go as the con has tried unsuccessfully to start for a few years now, so it's likely to be a complete disaster, but I had already booked my room before I heard about the potential negative stuff. Then I thought, hey even if the con isn't actually that well organised, if I can get enough of my friends to come too, we can essentially just hang at a hotel for the 4 days and sorta just make it fun. Like an accidental bab take over. or like a furmeet that lasts 4 days, just hang out no pressure. Now that sounds like fun. So yeah, me and daddy are booked to go.
It's my birfday on the 4th of June, and um. I don't think we're doing anything, Daddy was made redundant so anything he pays for or buys kinda comes outta our savings, so it doesnt make any sense to do anything, so that means there's a chance i'll be around for my birfday so mebbe i can draw people some stuff, and if not on the 4th then maybe on the 6th. The 6th was my dad's birfday and I think that is gonna be a hard day to tackle, so drawing people cute stuff might help distract me from the sad stuff. I'll keep folk up to date when I know what's going on.
Anyway I think thats most stuff. My Mum is still in the hospital but she's slowly improving as they tweak her medication, Paul continues to fight for his redundancy package, our car broke but paul's dad was getting rid of his car so looks like we're gonna get his old car so that's very very lucky, Our microwave died yesterday but Paul bought it in 1995 (so it's older than most of you) SO I think it was allowed to go to silicon heaven. And I think that really is everything up to date now mostly.
Sorry you received a grade on your final essay that was less than stellar. I'm sure everyone's telling you this, but even if it wasn't what you wanted, you still passed. You worked your butt off and did what you had to do to meet the necessary requirements. That is definitely a victory no matter what the numbers are. When you get out into a real counseling gig, you will certainly have earned the right to be there. Moreover, I'm sure you're going to do a whole heck of a lot of good. You care about people, you are self reflective, and you hold yourself to extremely high standards because you want to do right by others. At the end of the day, tests and evaluations are useful, but not the be all end all. I imagine you learned that yourself in your training, so take it to heart.
I hope Paul can get his redundancy package soon, and that the whole other list of crises in your life start resolving themselves. You definitely deserve to have a nice birthday no matter what's happening and what you choose to do. Thanks for sharing Star. Be well!
I can't believe that your old car has clapped up as I fondly recall being driven to Playgroup so many times in it!
I'm sorry to read you're missing Confuzzled (for the first time in how many years?) but I do hope this one at Portsmouth works out for you!
Remember that you're always welcome to visit mine anytime you feel the need to be among friends.
*hugglesqueaks lots* 🐭💙🩵
and fun time at home is def all you need for your special day, maybe have help make a cake like a small squirrel?
also that microwave is only 3 years younger than me!
We're all missing you here at the event. But you're here in spirit. And we're all thinking about you!
Hopefully we can all see each other at FURther South. (I only just got the pun!) and us babs can make it a con like no other!
Hopefully you'll get a new even better Chef Mic, 29 years is a good innings for a kitchen appliance
Hopefully things will be sorted soon....
Yoo gotta take your time....
*🐨hugs*
I wanna thank you so much for pointing out that Furthersouth event though. No telling how it'll be run but finding out there's a new con trying to get rolling so close to where I've moved is really exciting! I Hope I might see you there and thank you personally!
Hope things go better for you soon
Best watch the pennies until Mr P gets his redundancy pay sorted - it's all contractual but some organizations really make a meal of it - as you do need to allow for emergencies.
(((Hugs))
Glad hearing about stuff, sometimes when life hits so hard, we tend to have so much in our plates but at last, the calm comes again.
Over here I get manipulated by an extortion and get robbed (some gold stuff and money) and already get the authority informed but my family call me stupid by so many names that... uff even I get in trouble and I am not a thief! so in that family punishment I get:
No more school (I was finally studying music, my second career and real passion, even teachers were like "nooooo, why? you are super brilliant, even get in semifinals with a contest".
6 months without my boyfriend, and that hurts me to much, even communication is prohibited but we already find some communication at night.
Get a job in my career, so I am applying too much in stuff.
This punishment is similar as when... I was 15 and discovering ABDL by your drawings and the others (Kiwi-the-fruit, Lance-the-young, Ling-the-tiger, etc) from deviant art, till my brother discovers me and get 1 month without internet. And at last, seeing back in the days... I get someone who fully love me because he is also ABDL, so at last... this feeling of frustration by the robbery and loosing my progress in my second career, is just a hit, a broken foot, kind of something life make me stop to...
Get out of my house.
My boyfriend wants to marry, me too. Already months ago fantasize buying a house and since 2018 I am ready to independice myself.
What I am saying is that sometimes bad things teach us something we already see but never take action. Is similar like getting diagnose by something and if we continue those bad habits, it will end tragically.
Sam, you have been a huge inspiration with your drawings since I was 14 years old (around 2008). Now I am 28 years old, and sometimes when I feel bad, I remember stuff like Star saying "I do not have to hide anymore" or "If I become a baby, do he will care and love me more seeing me this little?" or "I really want to tell my brother, but he saying Abdl people are lazy" etc... Thank u. And reading about that now you are becoming a therapist is really lovely :3
There is a song called "Don't you worry child" is about my times I was a teen, used to hear that so much when thinking and wishing so hard "one day I will find love, that love that truly accept my little side" and seeing that back is like "don't you worry child, see heaven has something for youuu"
I just caught up on your journals from the last few months while I was trapped in my own life circumstances. It's sincerely amazing the kind of things you go through, my goodness. I'm cheering hard for you, and if you stream on your birthday I'll definitely try to be there and hangout!
I hope you get to have a nice time at that con in September, whether it turns into a proper convention or a friend hangout in the hotel. Both sound like a win to me!
Sorry to hear your Daddy was made redundant - it's been happening a lot recently! Hopefully there are other income streams available.