FA+
Shop
So wrapped up
a year ago
General
Life this year has been a smidge more bumpy than I am accustomed to, anyone who has been reading my journals this year can probably testify to that, but as a bi-product of trying to keep my head above water I've kinda been really blinkered to what's been going on in my friends lives and the past few weeks with things finally finally FINALLY starting to settle down out of that dust I've suddenly been able to see so many of my friends have been going through so much themselves and I've been horrified by my lack of knowing any of it. So wrapped up in myself, so insular.
I've always had pride in myself about being available to people and actually this year looking back I can't help but feel like I've been pretty selfish, some may say for good reason, but I actually feel quite ashamed by my lack of empathy when so many folk have shown me such compassion and understanding this year. It'll be good to get back to the less stressed version of myself, the one that's emotionally available to folk and who isn't being pulled a hundred different directions. I want to be available to people and I feel sad that i've neglected a lot of folk whilst i've been wrapped up in my own various dramas. Thanks for sticking with me and I promise to do better in future.
This coming week I'm away from Thursday afternoon through to Tuesday Afternoon for this big punk festival I play at every year and that'll be a nice way to reset me I think followed by a weekend of seeing Kim and Elara which I'm really looking forward to, and then it'll be into being a therapist for real time, which I keep having nightmares about. So im trying to enjoy what little non-responsible time I have left before September kicks in and starts being super responsible in a way i've not ever really experienced before.
I think this coming year, I'm going to have to seriously up my little side game. The last 2 years it was the first thing I sacrificed in order to get my studying done and things like Pawpets and juggling a bunch of stuff, but its just left me in a bit of a mess really, that bit of me feels super unfullfilled and lost and abandonned and I think if i'm gonna function at 100% I kinda need to look after that bit of me rather than neglecting her, so I need to work out how to actually do that as Ive never been successful at this particular juggling act, maybe set aside some time once a month to just try and be small even if its without someone looking after me, or my therapist keeps saying I have to figure out a way to look after that bit of me myself....But I have no clue how to even start that, any suggestion please put them on a back of a postcard and send them to....
Anyway that's enough rambling, back on with drawing stuff....
I've always had pride in myself about being available to people and actually this year looking back I can't help but feel like I've been pretty selfish, some may say for good reason, but I actually feel quite ashamed by my lack of empathy when so many folk have shown me such compassion and understanding this year. It'll be good to get back to the less stressed version of myself, the one that's emotionally available to folk and who isn't being pulled a hundred different directions. I want to be available to people and I feel sad that i've neglected a lot of folk whilst i've been wrapped up in my own various dramas. Thanks for sticking with me and I promise to do better in future.
This coming week I'm away from Thursday afternoon through to Tuesday Afternoon for this big punk festival I play at every year and that'll be a nice way to reset me I think followed by a weekend of seeing Kim and Elara which I'm really looking forward to, and then it'll be into being a therapist for real time, which I keep having nightmares about. So im trying to enjoy what little non-responsible time I have left before September kicks in and starts being super responsible in a way i've not ever really experienced before.
I think this coming year, I'm going to have to seriously up my little side game. The last 2 years it was the first thing I sacrificed in order to get my studying done and things like Pawpets and juggling a bunch of stuff, but its just left me in a bit of a mess really, that bit of me feels super unfullfilled and lost and abandonned and I think if i'm gonna function at 100% I kinda need to look after that bit of me rather than neglecting her, so I need to work out how to actually do that as Ive never been successful at this particular juggling act, maybe set aside some time once a month to just try and be small even if its without someone looking after me, or my therapist keeps saying I have to figure out a way to look after that bit of me myself....But I have no clue how to even start that, any suggestion please put them on a back of a postcard and send them to....
Anyway that's enough rambling, back on with drawing stuff....
Hope you get more time to do what you enjoy soon, it’s not selfish to not have enough time for others all the time. Sometimes life just be like that 😩
You need to make sure you are safe before you can help others, otherwise you will fall apart and won't be able to help anyone!
People can give empathy when they're not up to their butts in crocodiles. When you ARE up to your butt in crocodiles, it's all you can do to keep running. There will come a day when you can offer comfort to others, but after everything you've been going through, it's OK--and normal-- to be focused on yourself right now.
1) super thick crinkles you can change yourself.
2) set up tons of snacks and drinks.
3) get your favorite jammies/little clothes on that you don't mind falling asleep in.
4) don't forget the binky.
5) set up some movies for little you on the telly/computer.
6) curl up and watch the movies while having the snacks and just..."let it goooooooooooooooooooooooo."
Overall, take care of yourself, let your friends know you care, and once you're in a good situation, be there for them.
And I may not know you but from one Little to another I’m Proud of you for adulting in this chaotic world ☺️
Here's some things I've learned:
It works best for me when I plan it ahead and plan around it. Making sure that when I have an opportunity to nurture my little side, that all or as many adult stressers are out of site and out of mind as possible. Making sure our space is tidy ahead of time, and that I don't have any other things hanging over me like preparing food (I'll make myself kid friendly food and snacks ahead of time). That is one big thing up front.
The other thing for me personally having the self discipline to not try to multitask with more adult interests, like mature video games, TV, or enjoying a beer. This has happened when I feel pressed for time and haven't chosen to prioritize my little time over any of those more adult pass times. But mindfully choosing my sippy cup and juice, and watching fun kids shows and playing with my toys, and staying in that moment really helps.
I will also give myself lots of verbal and mental affirmations, and sometimes I channel those affirmations and caregiver energy through my teddy. It helps to treat him like a pretend big brother figure, but that's just me. Like, if I can't have a caregiver, I can channel that energy from myself to myself through him if that makes sense.
I also allow myself to feel little in small ways even if im not fully regressing. Like, I sleep with a plushie every night so even if I'm not fully regressed, much as I'd love to sleep that way, I still feel soft and snuggly and safe and it scratches that itch.
Just a few things that help me be small on my own