Figured I should at least some sort of actual update on here, even if not much has really changed at this point.

I'm still out of work at this point. Though that is pretty much all my fault here still. I know I need to figure out something here soon enough though. I still have enough money to live off of without having to completely freak out. But, with winter coming up, I'm going to need some sort of income to help balance out the bills and not have them completely drain me.

Therein lies the real problem at this point. Me getting myself to put applications out there. There was an instance a month or so ago now that I was really thinking about putting myself out there again. Once I really started thinking about it though, I began getting very anxious and depressed. (Made a whole post about it on facebook, then a friend said something to my brother and he came over to "talk to me" about it. Mostly ended up being him yelling at me and using how his new thing is religion to shit on me.) But it's a mix of several different things. I just have horrible anxiety anymore from working at Petco. It's probably a combination of dealing with management and my treatment from customers. Though my other issue is not wanting to get stuck again at a place that I don't want to be at or just being miserable where I end up working. I'm kind of just backed into a corner at this point. There's a handful of places in town that I'm going to try either way. The issue is there's not much in this town. Along with I'd have to drive a bit to extend my reach. That of course brings it's own problems. Spending more money on gas, car will wear out faster and it'll eat up more time as well. There's of course the option that my brother really tried to impose on me, which is going back to school. But that's not as simple as it sounds either. I'd still have to have some sort of job during that period. Let alone with finding the time to do that between working and everything else. Even if that works out, I'd have to probably get rid of a large amount of what we have in this home, let alone most of my animals, figure out moving somewhere else and even then I'd have to hope to actually get the job I wanted. Without having some sort of solid financial security, it's just not possible unfortunately. Especially since I want to still work with animals and want to work at a zoo or something along those lines.

But, aside from all of that, I haven't been up to terribly much. Since I stopped working right when it was getting super hot out, I didn't do much for a while. Mostly just sitting around and sweating. ^^; I was able to at least take care of a few things around the house as it began to cool down. Really delved into doing a deep clean of the basement. Would like to sell a lot of the extra pet supplies I have in the basement, but I know that'll be a whole thing. I was able to at least clear out a bunch of the moldy stuff, scrubbed the walls and floors. At least for now anyways it smells half decent down there. Was able to start doing a bit of yard work again as well. At least in between all this rain anyways. So I'll just keep slowly working along that when I'm able to and still have the time as well.

Been cooking a lot as well. That's at least been the one good thing. I've been able to shop a bit smarter since I don't have to worry about doing a quick food night or whatever. So, that's at least been nice. Just have to remember to not go overboard with the ingredients. ^^;

So, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I could be around and be with Kep for a while for a change. Despite him wanting to kill me at times here. But, one of the other main reasons with not wanting to go back to work is the dogs. Tsume has only had to go into his crate a handful of times these past few months. I don't want to have to keep putting him back into the crate again, but it's still the best option for everyone. He will either destroy things or him and Kiba will end up playing too rough and either someone might get hurt or again they'll destroy things. It's really the only reason I'd be willing to do normal morning shifts again somewhere. That way it would really reduce the amount of time he would be in the crate, even compared to before.

So yeah, everything's been a bit of a clusterfuck as usual. But it's kind of a, what's new? For me. Oh yeah, one thing that has been funny though was going into my old work and the girl they stuck over in my department to do my old job told me, "oh yeah, so I understand why you were so irritated all the time now." Yeah, I had to deal with a lot of shit over there. Good luck with all that now. On a side note here, I don't know if anything ever happened with all the reports that were put it. But, I found out that the store was moved into a different district, so the shit district manager isn't there anymore, which caused the dick GM to have a bit of a mental breakdown. So I'm hoping this adds a bit more pressure to her and they do eventually end up forcing her out or something. That's the least that I can hope for at this point for everything she's done.

But yeah, wish me luck with trying to figure things out here. I really don't want to have to setting for working at any of these factories, because I'm really not going to end up liking it. I'm still just really debating on if I want to try jumping into a food job. Since I don't know how well I'd do with that and don't want to ruin me wanting to cook at home.

One random note before I finish this. My health has been alright still. At least as far as the blood pressure things goes. Before I stopped working the Dr cancelled my appointment twice. I tried contacting them and getting them to just let me do blood work, since that's all I would need, and they were difficult with me on that. Probably because they want me to go and do more tests still. So, I just told them I won't have time to for a while because of starting a new job at some point. So, I just keep putting it off and not contacting them again. We'll see what happens with all of that then. It's going to be a pain in the ass still no matter what happens with it. Still should try to look into going to a new doctor, but I know that'll be a whole thing as well.

Alright, I think I'm done rambling now. I'm done. ^^;