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Thinking lots, perhaps too much...
a year ago
General
I’ve been thinking about what to say after the latest FA update and what’s been going on on social media about it all. I haven’t read every single thread cause…Well…There’s a lot, I can only talk from my personal experience and how I feel about this. I’m not going to go into rumours or speculation, because I don’t feel that helps me....or anyone really.
Being suspended for a week hurt. I have been known to struggle with my little side and being suspended just really triggered all the self doubt and self hate I feel towards myself about being a little. It made me very emotional and made me feel very shut down/silenced and felt like it confirmed to me that I was inherently wrong for being who I was. Those are easy places for me to go to. They’re familiar. It was when I saw other people echoing those sentiments that made me snap out of my self loathing spiral, I wanted to pick those people up, tell them they were okay.
That being a little or enjoying wearing diapers, or just expressing yourself in the way that you want when it’s not hurting anyone is and should always be fine. That’s what I’ve largely been spending my days doing on social media, helping folk to understand that etc.
Damage was done when the 2.7 policy was updated. Some folk left, some folk took their whole galleries with them, trust was shattered, and as someone who has been building their pages here since 2010 it suddenly felt hostile and unwelcoming. I was heartbroken for myself and my community, but I knew I wanted to stay. A lot of us have put so much heart and soul here that it’s hard to walk away, but more importantly, as someone who lives in the UK and was taken out of the EU by Brexit, one thing is abundantly clear, you only have a voice if you’re inside the system. Once you leave, you lose any power you may have had. I want to stay here and help work out a way forward, a compromise or a chance to grow something good from the carnage that happened.
What does the latest apology do? How has that affected me? I was already on the optimistic side of the camp, despite how hurt I was feeling. I know I’m a builder, I’ve learnt quite a bit about myself recently and feel best when I’m in a support role. If I can aid people I will. This apology felt like a bridge and a step to addressing people's feelings and fears. It feels like an opportunity and a promise, and we still don’t know where that is going to go yet, but it feels hopeful to me.
FA is listening to members of our community now, there is a group of folk talking to sciggles about potential ways to move forward, and for transparency I was invited into that group. What that currently means I don’t know, but what I do know is that it will take time, because this time they want to get it right and this time they are listening.
A few things I want to say in regards to the FA apology :
‘We would also like to remind everyone that harassment of anyone is not allowed on Fur Affinity; this includes attaching negative implications to people because they enjoy particular types of art.’
I’ve seen lots of folk saying , hey we can report the babyfur DNI accounts now due to this update. I would argue that’s not the case. Someone having boundaries on their page, doesn’t mean they’re harassing you.
Someone saying ‘all babyfurs are P*dos’ however would be open to reporting.
People are allowed to not like us, hate/despise us even, and as much as you may want to be loved by everyone you’re going to have to work out a way to understand that some folk simply will never like us and want nothing to do with us, please focus on the folk who do like you and move on.
Secondly and again this is my personal opinion, and I am super gonna get fire for this as I’m sure it’s gonna be unpopular but mass reporting the gofundme feels like an own goal. There are hundreds of thousands of artists on this website who use this place as their business, even if things don’t fall in our favour, even after all the work we’re doing to find a compromise falls flat and all the babyfurs get thrown off this site, would you feel good if we took the site with us? Burnt it all to the ground and just ruined so many other artists' lives all because we didn’t get our way? If we’re not welcome that’s fine. We’ll find somewhere else. We always do, and whilst I agree it’s okay to be frustrated with admin and mods and people who make the rules, please don’t punish all the other folk who use this site. Babyfurs are blamed for everything in this fandom, usually unjustly, but please don’t make the fall of FA our fault.
Ultimately I feel that we can do a lot with building not just the site, but also each other. Kindness, compassion and calmness I feel has to play a large part of that, and not just from within our own little niche, but through helping others outside that niche too. We can show that we can be mature about all of this, and through positive representation perhaps peoples views/misconceptions of our niche can change, that maybe everyone can grow from this. I don’t know if that’s unrealistic to hope for, but I also know that I can’t give up trying.
Being suspended for a week hurt. I have been known to struggle with my little side and being suspended just really triggered all the self doubt and self hate I feel towards myself about being a little. It made me very emotional and made me feel very shut down/silenced and felt like it confirmed to me that I was inherently wrong for being who I was. Those are easy places for me to go to. They’re familiar. It was when I saw other people echoing those sentiments that made me snap out of my self loathing spiral, I wanted to pick those people up, tell them they were okay.
That being a little or enjoying wearing diapers, or just expressing yourself in the way that you want when it’s not hurting anyone is and should always be fine. That’s what I’ve largely been spending my days doing on social media, helping folk to understand that etc.
Damage was done when the 2.7 policy was updated. Some folk left, some folk took their whole galleries with them, trust was shattered, and as someone who has been building their pages here since 2010 it suddenly felt hostile and unwelcoming. I was heartbroken for myself and my community, but I knew I wanted to stay. A lot of us have put so much heart and soul here that it’s hard to walk away, but more importantly, as someone who lives in the UK and was taken out of the EU by Brexit, one thing is abundantly clear, you only have a voice if you’re inside the system. Once you leave, you lose any power you may have had. I want to stay here and help work out a way forward, a compromise or a chance to grow something good from the carnage that happened.
What does the latest apology do? How has that affected me? I was already on the optimistic side of the camp, despite how hurt I was feeling. I know I’m a builder, I’ve learnt quite a bit about myself recently and feel best when I’m in a support role. If I can aid people I will. This apology felt like a bridge and a step to addressing people's feelings and fears. It feels like an opportunity and a promise, and we still don’t know where that is going to go yet, but it feels hopeful to me.
FA is listening to members of our community now, there is a group of folk talking to sciggles about potential ways to move forward, and for transparency I was invited into that group. What that currently means I don’t know, but what I do know is that it will take time, because this time they want to get it right and this time they are listening.
A few things I want to say in regards to the FA apology :
‘We would also like to remind everyone that harassment of anyone is not allowed on Fur Affinity; this includes attaching negative implications to people because they enjoy particular types of art.’
I’ve seen lots of folk saying , hey we can report the babyfur DNI accounts now due to this update. I would argue that’s not the case. Someone having boundaries on their page, doesn’t mean they’re harassing you.
Someone saying ‘all babyfurs are P*dos’ however would be open to reporting.
People are allowed to not like us, hate/despise us even, and as much as you may want to be loved by everyone you’re going to have to work out a way to understand that some folk simply will never like us and want nothing to do with us, please focus on the folk who do like you and move on.
Secondly and again this is my personal opinion, and I am super gonna get fire for this as I’m sure it’s gonna be unpopular but mass reporting the gofundme feels like an own goal. There are hundreds of thousands of artists on this website who use this place as their business, even if things don’t fall in our favour, even after all the work we’re doing to find a compromise falls flat and all the babyfurs get thrown off this site, would you feel good if we took the site with us? Burnt it all to the ground and just ruined so many other artists' lives all because we didn’t get our way? If we’re not welcome that’s fine. We’ll find somewhere else. We always do, and whilst I agree it’s okay to be frustrated with admin and mods and people who make the rules, please don’t punish all the other folk who use this site. Babyfurs are blamed for everything in this fandom, usually unjustly, but please don’t make the fall of FA our fault.
Ultimately I feel that we can do a lot with building not just the site, but also each other. Kindness, compassion and calmness I feel has to play a large part of that, and not just from within our own little niche, but through helping others outside that niche too. We can show that we can be mature about all of this, and through positive representation perhaps peoples views/misconceptions of our niche can change, that maybe everyone can grow from this. I don’t know if that’s unrealistic to hope for, but I also know that I can’t give up trying.
This apology note is a good first step on the right path. But good words by good words, i prefer good actions. The trust in this place is more than just shattered, is pulverized. It's gonna need a lot from their side to erase this "babyfur/abdl is not welcome here" feeling. the measures on that note is just one small step. and it took 20 months and a plenty of bans in this meantime to let them realize it, even with the same community telling them almost daily about this. So they're listening the community now? they should had been listening a long time.
It's not ALL of FA's fault, but this site has it's guilty slice on it, as it had done nothing to stop all the harassment, and even supporting it by making stupid rules on the 2.7 (before more backslash and consequences hit them).
I'm open to see their changes, but it's gonna take a lot more than an acceptable aplogogy notice to bring me the idea to get back here. To the optimistic ones that stay, i can only wish good luck in not having your works reported and banend by mods that don't understand a single thing about art in an art site.
to the ones that wants to help being mods here, remember that you won't have too much power, and it feels mostly the fake inclusion "we don't hate babyfurs, we even have a babyfur with us, right there, on his chair, where he can do a small, tiny, miserable little support without any real moderation power once a day."
and if it's not clear to everyone, spread your arts on other sites, do'nt stick just to one place. Weasyl has a good AUP for now, even IB. the more places you're in, more chances you get to don't get screwed if one of them implodes, like it's happening with FA right now.
If there's one thing I have learnt from The Prince, it's that words mean very little. A leader who wishes to maintain their power can, and will, go back on their word. Actions are what matters, and whilst this is a step in the right direction, it is too early to say. I might post the journal I posted on IB on here, but I'm hesitant.
The fact of the matter is that we are, for the lack of a better term, subject wholly to the tolerance of others. If FA ever has to kowtow to advertisers, we'll be amongst the first to go. Ultimately, it is their right, but that doesn't mean we have to like it. We're better off sticking to our own sites, ADISC comes to mind. At least that way we're able to be open about this sort of thing.
I hate sounding melodramatic, I have a full time job for god's sake, but I'm anything if not protective over my hobbies. Even still, standing against the tide will soon become a tsunami, and going with the change is necessary. I am reminded of a line from the Tao Te Ching: "Heaven and earth are inhumane: they use the ten thousand things like straw dogs.". This means that nature (and thus, fate) is inherently cruel. It praises and idolizes something, and then discards it after the ceremony. We should recognize when it is unwise to cling to something that will ultimately not benefit us, especially when there are superior alternatives.
Until the apology was put out, the maneuvering behind the scenes looked like it was setting up for a site buy. That the FA staff weren't actually looking to maintain the site but keep it on life support long enough to sell it and run out the back door with the money. It certainly wouldn't be the first time money for a supposedly charitable case was stolen and the cause abandoned. At best it was overblown since they were looking to sell anyway. At worst, it was a blatant abuse of our appreciation for Dragoneers to enrich themselves.
That's what many attributed to the 2.7 policy in the first place: sweeping up those they deemed "undesirable" to make the site more appealing to a buyer.
edit: oops, late reply
i hope things get better and can see it working it's way out of the terrible decisions that where made.
but i really fail to see where the compromises would be, something is banned or it's not, something in between is unclear and easy to misunderstand, it allows personal biases from individuals.
i hope the next edition of 2.7 can come out with some clear rules.
i know there will have to be limits, it's how everything works, but will they make sense? will they be clear and not subject to personal interpretation? that's what worries me the most now.
When literal adult babies are more mature than you, the community needs to re-examine itself.
As much as I think Furaffinity is important as a historical site and a home for many I'm also not fond of the idea that it's the community's fault for letting it die if it dies. It's been mismanaged for its entire lifespan - you don't blame the customers when a grocery store sells rotten food and fails. I would LIKE for FA to keep existing even if only for my own self interest of not having to rebuild elsewhere and I would LIKE to be welcome on FA for the foreseeable future but trust has 100% been broken and frankly I'm not a fan of them still "communicating with us" by uh... having a group chat with a few people that we don't know the contents of. This isn't a representative republic and we did not elect the people involved in that. They should've been talking with the whole community openly this entire time instead of a select few popufurs that were niceys to them, some of which I know don't even *use* the website.
I and 90% of other people aren't involved in Building the Site. I have no real input, they discard tickets, their discord prevents all discussion because they use minors they let on it (which... minors. on a discord. for a site that primarily is used for porn by many? yeah that's a great look) as a shield, and they'll just block you or ignore you on social media. It's nice that you do and I hope you can give them good input but frankly I'm just going to keep taking up their bandwidth under the assumption that in the future I may be banned. If good things come? That's nice I guess. I'm already putting my eggs in other baskets.
Like I do want to hope for the best, as I've been here a long time
But I also think FA is on the verge of Darwining itself
This isn't the first time and I doubt it's the last they target our community I mean fang had his account locked for months and his tickets discarded
Unless they are willing to add blacklists and raise the minimum age on this site than I think it's time we all move to weasel
The apparent Cabal or whatever that is speaking for us all keeps insisting we need to give Sciggles all the grace in the world because she has Real Life Problems and just needs to be educated and whatnot according to a recent document posted, as if the many artists and other users harmed aren't also People who exist in Real Life with their own Problems many of which are worse than hers. She could've learned about us instead of seeing us as sex perverts over the course of the past 20 years as a whole ass adult and not like, some sort of misguided child.
Really not a fan of behind the scenes discussion where the community as a whole has no input unless you have the free time necessary to do free labor as a moderator or have the social pull necessary to be considered worthy of being listened to. People were telling her things for years publicly. She just didn't listen.
The abdls working for FA are either shills or genuinely don't have the spine to stand up to the BS, and that's probably why they were hired
They are meant to be there and take the fall when FA fucks up, glad to see the community smelt that bullshit from a mile away
Home girl is the face of the fandom now, and if she's going to be that she needs to learn to be an actual leader, which involves putting personal biases aside, and doing what's best for the community, all of the community, not just the parts she likes
That does give a bit of hope
But also 2 voices don't drown out a choir
I also am unsure about my future on this site, but if they really are as contrite as they say, and really do want to make amends, then I'll be happy to see it when it happens. But in the meantime, its another lesson in the principle of not putting all ones eggs in the same basket. We NEED to maintain galleries on a number of sites because you never know when one will go down - for policy or technological or business reasons. its just simple resiliency.
A little off topic but I appreciate you being on the team working with Weasyl as well recently.
Definitely a shock to the system to have this all go down though. I didn't attack my little side, but I started thinking too hard about the implications that are given by those who don't like us as a community.
The 2.7 update and it's wording still has me spinning, but here's to things moving forward.
Thank you for the update
I agree that I think people are allowed to put whatever DNI on their pages that they want. Maybe they're just squeeked out by it. Maybe it's a trigger for them because of something in their past. Maybe it's because they believe false connotations. You probably don't know for the specific person and it's not your business anyways. Just move on. I feel like it's pretty human to feel like everyone needs to like you, so it hurts to see that. But that's life and you kinda have to make peace with that. Even if it sucks.
I do wonder where this site is going. Admittedly, I've had my trust broken on this site many many years ago, back when a moderator (long story short) basically supported a user's harassment. But I feel like it's trying to get better and I'm still a bit optimistic. Been on here since 2008 with this account though my original account was from 2007. I'm hoping the site grows and becomes better. But we'll have to see.
I'd take immense pride in bringing down this corrupt monolith of a site, which has historically shown all the concern for its users that Caligula did for the citizens of Rome. Empty, forced apologies mean very little against years (and years, and years) of abuse and corruption.
This site is weak and vulnerable, considering the upheaval in its leadership structure and a nebulous terms of service that's weaponized against users the staff considers undesirable. If we want meaningful change, this is precisely the time to take the power away from FurAffinity and move to an art site that will welcome us, not grimly tolerate us. Or... we could once again accept the hollow apologies of a site that has repeatedly shown open contempt for us, and shuffle back in for more abuse.
There will always be furries, and there will always be furry art sites to service them. However, there doesn't have to be a FurAffinity, and I dare say we would all be better off without it.
In my opinon, if you're looking for insight into a community, the bitter bear up there who's managed to push away most of their friends and fellow creatives with their attitude would be the last choice for that sort of thing.
If the babyfur community considers me expendable, fine, I'll find something else to do, but maybe people should pay attention when the ban hammer falls on their own heads. Frivolous bans comes with tangible consequences, like when a starving artist loses a source of income they desperately need to squeak through another month. I dislike drawing for money, but others are more comfortable doing it... and they can't when the leading furry art site effectively blacklists them.
Am I hyperbolic? Absolutely. Am I militant? No question of that. But pragmatism and diplomacy just gives the FA staff an excuse to ignore our complaints and continue the status quo of favoritism and corruption. Loud, angry protest actually forced the staff to take our concerns seriously, and to back off on a terms of service so extreme that it considered eggs minors. Not just fictional children, but fictional fetuses. At least my hyperbole isn't enforceable as part of an acceptable use policy.
We would all be better off with a furry art site that addresses our concerns, and not just when the outcry becomes too loud and too financially ruinous to ignore. But against all common sense, babyfurs want FurAffinity... and I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that they deserve it.
alternatives exist, and I hope people go to them, but i doubt FA is going to be 'brought down' by us, or anyone
Saying this, while I don't think much of the apology, I am happy that you can be so hopeful in the face of such adversity. You're made of stronger stuff than I am, clearly.
Building bridges is always preferable to building walls.
You're right, sub-community differences within the furry fandom can be stark, and it's clear that the recent events have caused a lot of pain and uncertainty. Your focus on staying within the system to effect change, rather than burning it all down, is commendable. It speaks to a desire for constructive dialogue and compromise, which is essential for any community to thrive.
It's also important to acknowledge the emotional impact of these events. Feeling silenced or invalidated can be incredibly damaging! Your efforts to support others and remind them of their inherent worth are truly valuable.
You also make a crucial point about the importance of boundaries. Just because someone doesn't want to engage with babyfur content doesn't automatically equate to harassment. Everyone has the right to curate their own online experience. It's a shame that some feel the need to express their dislike with such hostility, but focusing on those who are accepting and supportive is a much healthier approach. And I agree, trying to take down the GoFundMe feels misdirected. It's understandable to be angry and frustrated, but ultimately harming the entire community, including those who have been supportive, doesn't help anyone. Hopefully, cooler heads will prevail, and a path forward can be found that respects the diverse needs and interests within the fandom.
Ultimately, your message of kindness, compassion, and positive representation resonates deeply. It's a reminder that even in the face of adversity, we can choose to build bridges instead of walls. Thank you for sharing your perspective and for working towards a more inclusive and understanding furry fandom.
Its one thing to hate us, its another thing to spread things that are not true.
I'd like to preface this by saying that I've been an FA supporter for a long time. Yes, the site was (is) broken in many way. Trust has been a problem for a long time due to lack of transparency and... dubious-at-best decisions and moderation actions on the part of staff. Broken promises on development and features...
The list goes on and on...
But I was also one of those people that said that for the site to grow and improve, they need resources. And as such, I subbed to FA+ for approximately 3 years, until the whole current debacle happened. Because for sites to grow and improve, they need resources... that only the community advertisements (which I wholly approve of) did not fulfill. And I'd rather avoid out-of-community adverts as much as I can.
With this said, I generally agree with the sentiment that you're displaying here.
However, two points of contention I have:
1) Going after the GFM: Dragoneer's position on what is and is not allowed on FA was always "If it's not illegal, we have it". And while this opens for a HUGE can of worms, or seeing a LOT of stuff I don't care to see (thanks to the lack of keywords blocklist - a feature that has been promised for decades but still isn't available - and besides, people can't be arsed to tag their stuff properly most of the time so what good would it realistically do? BSky is a wonderful example of this issue), it does mean that nobody's ran out of the site because they are into something someone else isn't. Or, at least, in theory. But by letting a single individual, through the moderators' actions, literally target and destroy a subcommunity, FA Staff has allowed this to happen. A mass reporting of this scale should have been a red flag right away. The fact that so many people and artists were suspended/banned within such a short time should have rang alarm bells like crazy in the staff room. But it didn't. Nothing was done until it was too late, and then it was radio silence. And this is NOT counting the fact that when 2.7 was originally updated, a lot of us (myself included) rang alarm bells that this very scenario was going to happen - not "if", but "when" - and we were loudly ignored.
We tried to talk with FA at the time, to no avail. We were ignored because it was convenient. Going after the GFM was a very strong and loud way for us to be heard. As MLK said: riots are the language of the unheard. Yes, it's bad to riot - but it's a small price to pay compared to the harm caused by whatever is creating those riots in the first place. It sucks that it had to happen to FA, but ultimately, we only reacted... and anyone mildly acquainted with physics understand Newton's third law... And those are also true in social circles, not just in physics.
2) "Babyfurs are blamed for everything in this fandom, usually unjustly, but please don’t make the fall of FA our fault": I'll reiterate my point about Newton's third law here, again. If FA was to fall, it wouldn't be because of the ABDL/Babyfur sub-community. Because we reacted to their actions; it was not a concerted effort on our part to destroy FA, but simply defend our own subcommunity from the actions of a single individual that used FA, and FA became complicit through their actions/inactions (use the word you feel better describes FA's banwave, or lack of care in realizing what was going on and played along). If anything, FA is caught in the crossfire between a single individual who's hellbent on destroying us, and us needing to retaliate to defend ourselves from not just false, but frankly borderline-libellous accusations and attacks.
With this said, do I want FA to go away? Not right now.
I strongly believe that the current message is sincere, honest, and from the heart - especially Sciggles' open letter.
Heck, I'm even considering applying for a moderation post, because I'm one of those (stupid) people that just... steps up when things are needed, and I've got nearly 20 years of community management under my belt (in various ways, systems and positions). But I'm not sure I want to commit this important to something when my life is so, so erratic as of late.
I also believe that FA is central to a lot of folks. Both from the business perspective, and the art appreciation perspective; it has a critical mass of users that really, truly makes it easier for everyone to be able to get art, promote their stuff, and fave/save pieces from artists. It really is a good thing - even if there are some caveats and issues related to this.
But at the same time, I believe that FA has been rather complacent, and I hope that the background issues AND the current situation can all be resolved for the better of the site AND the community.
Should FA be as monolithic in the community as it is?
Maybe.
It has pros and cons. And both sides of the argument are valid. But that makes both sides neither wrong, nor right. Which is why this is such a complex situation to navigate.
But in the end, I mostly agree with you. And I'll keep trying to make things better in my own (little) way, whenever I can. <3
Anyway don’t beat yourself up too much! You’re an amazing artist, story teller and person!
I agree with you about making staying on FA in order to help change it. We need to be here in order to fight for us. That said, I think it's totally valid is feeling uncomfortable with everything and wants to leave. Not everyone needs to be an activist; it's a personal boundary where we each find if we feel comfortable with fighting on any given day.
I can see what you're come from with the GoFundMe issue. I hadn't heard it was being reported---I'm confused by that as there's nothing the GoFundMe was doing wrong in GoFundMe's TOS. That said, I do feel people have the right to protest. People do have the right to feel this site shouldn't exist if it doesn't allow us, even if that view is harmful to other artists and many would argue agains it. So I disagree with you here.
Thank you for writing your thoughts and standing up for us. You are really awesome!
And yup. Damage was already done and it will be hard to regain trust and make people feel welcome and safe here again, but all wounds will heal and scars will vanish. It just needs time and not put "salt and dirt" in them.
But in general. This whole situation has shown one important thing. That there still exist some justice in the world.
And also it has shown that if we stick together, we are stronger.
And in your personal case Twinkle. You and your work helped so many of us, even without knowing it, that even if the whole world will be "burning to ashes", you can count on any us, to help and support you with all thats in our powers.
So, I know you don't feel very well right now, but please try to smile a little as we are all together with you in this 🙂
WE survived brexit personally with everything that brought without breaking friendships and yet being honest with our friends about our own positions, girl as 180 degrees different as they were.
D.N.I is basically about one thing: Respecting other peoples feelings and beliefs and not about damning your own likes and interests.
I have a strict D.N.I on my Tumblr account because things that are more "adult" tend to take me out if the regressed headspace I need AND as explained previously being heavily involved in child friendly Age Regression communities, I have, we have, many minor followers so we wish you NOT to place anything "adult" in the pathways they can stumble across.
It certainly isn't about saying having an adult sexual side is wrong for you and I am sure you all would agree with protecting children from that even if the ways aren't always well thought through.
Let's try to be constructive and respect each other in this process.
I'm a big proponent of continuing to try, because it's one of the few ways that I keep myself going some days. Giving up isn't an option. But all we can do is try to represent ourselves well and make things better.
And maybe I'm rambling at this point, I don't know if I had a point I was trying to make here. I am just glad you're still around.
There is something satisfying to the idea of the ones in diapers being the mature ones in a difficult situation. Cautiously optimistic that a positive outcome is possible.
It doesn't really matter. When FA closes everyone will be forced to use alternatives anyway.
Guess my english is not on that advanced level as yours (as i'm not native english speaker 😅)
Maybe you can explain in simple way the general thought of what you've just got written? 🙂
The various children's services are being used for the purpose of chasing after artists rather then dealing with politically controversial things in real life while giving out gagging orders so there is no transparency targeting people that nobody will listen too because of their lifestyle or art they draw.
There is although seemingly insane an American/british government effort to impose their morals spanning through every single piece of media that can be traced from the DEI companies like sweet baby inc and linked back to funding from secret services and it ends up with the evidence being 404d so that if it was not for certain youtubers we would know nothing.
And if you have alternate opinions on sex related issues like the age of adulthood,prohibition and other such issues the search engines have been skewed so that you cannot communicate or organise any form of debate petition or protest.
It makes people feel alone and it is fundamentally undemocratic.
On the other hand, these laws also protects the vulnerable groups against most violent harm. I still remember one of my gradparents saying that "when they were kinds, it was normal to throw stones at homosexuals or to just beat them". Luckily, world is different now and people are way more tolerant than those times (altough there are still few countries where it's still banned). It's not a quick process unfortunately, but things are slowly moving to the better side. So let's hope that it won't take long and people will start to understand that there is no harm in this and it's even not breaking any laws.
Also it's all part of bdsm and such as it's in the spirit of the 3S rule "safe, sane, sensual". We did not choose our kinks and we don't want to cause any harm to anyone. We are just trying to live our lives as best as we can with cards, that were given to us by life itself.
There always be haters (as i already said multiple times), but don't let them ruin your day, as they must have quite miserable life when they have nothing better to do in their lives, than trowing sh*t at others.
Best thing to do in present times is just to stick together and to be a support to others when they have an uneasy time, as life can be pretty rough when you're dealing with these things (inner critic can be really pain in the A*, not to mention real haters), and endure till better times (as i believe there will be better times).
Btw. Different thing will be if people are hurting others or breaking laws (like in case of extreme sadism, necrophilia, pedophilia, etc...). I understand those people are just sick, but if they cannot control themselfs, it's case for an specialist and probably medication. As they may end up hurting someone.
Hope it's at least a bit understandable. I tryied to write down my thought best as i could, but i'm not best writer and native english neither. And also it's almost 2am here, so i'm sorry if it's a bit chaotic 😅.
Gonna hit the hay now. GN 🙂