I've been avoiding posting this for multiple reasons. A large part of it was I was already stressed about the situation and even just typing this up was going to stress me out even more.

Time really seemed like it flew. Not so much in the beginning, but after a while the days just seemed to rush by and I really hated it. Think it was mostly because of it being winter and the short days. But after a while it seemed like once I got things done in the morning and I wanted to get out and do something, most of the day was already gone. Granted, I was going on regular walks with the boys at this point. Anywhere from a half an hour to an hour and a half. On average I was going on hour walks and then I'd also have something planned for dinner that I was putting effort into me cooking it. I didn't mind either, since I was able to spend time with them and I got more practice on cooking things.

I was initially only planning on staying out of work for maybe 2-3 months or so. But having a life again, even if I had to watch spending money, and the stress from working at Petco for 12 years kept me from really wanting to really seriously work again and look for it. That and I couldn't just try to jump on unemployment since I knew they'd force me to look for a job and take whatever came my way. Which wasn't going to happen. Because it was probably going to be worse than petco in some way or another.

Either way for the past 4 months I had been gradually putting out either applications or just asking if places were hiring. I'd end up putting out about two a week and then waiting until the next week to see if I'd actually get some sort of response. It was like a month ago that I was actually able to get an actual interview. It would have just been making ice cream cones either late at night or early in the morning. The only reason that happened is they didn't take an actual resume and just hired someone based on how they liked you. Well, apparently they didn't like me enough, because nothing happened. Hell, the one small coffee place in town was hiring to help make their baked goods. Sent them photos and everything and apparently I still wasn't good enough for them to interview.

Well, at this point I was able to finally land something. It's this kind of crappy little bar that's a few miles away from my house. So the drive isn't bad, but it's the opposite direction from the grocery store that I go to. I'm still surprised they were willing to give me a shot, since they knew I've had no experience actually being a line cook. That's part of the only reason why I took the job. It's mid day shifts so far and only 4 days a week, which is kind of perfect. Though after I'm trained enough they're going to move me to their usual night shifts, which has me worried. Mostly because I could be working until midnight at times. The one thing that at least makes things slightly easy is the food is kind of all garbage/easy food. ^^; It's a lot of quickly cooking up frozen stuff or just frying fries or chicken or something. That and they don't season it at all, not even the fries. So it's not like it's crazy as far as making the food and such.

But I was shocked when they did call me and said they were going to give me a chance and see how things worked. The next 4 days after that I was super stressed. A mix of just having to work again in general, do something new and having to leave the house. As well as just having to leave the dogs and Keg. That and Tsume was going to have to go back in his crate again when no one is home. I've had two shifts too far. I at least like that I don't have to directly deal with any customers, because I had gotten tired of that. Either way when I got home that first day I just bawled. Just from being so emotionally drained and being home with the dogs again. I think a large part of it too is at this point in my life I've just tired of settling and fighting. I know this is a thing with a lot of people, but I still hate that I have this big plan still of what I'd love to do in life, but it just won't be possible for so many reasons. I'm tired of having to settle on a job that I either won't like, will have to work too much, not make much money or all of the above. I figure at the very least if I was to keep trying to do this restaurant thing I can at minimum stay at this place for a year and then try somewhere else. Since I will at least have experience at that point. Otherwise there's a small fish shop in the mall that said they will hire me once they get going more. I don't know, we'll see what happens. I just don't want to be miserable anymore and have to feel like I'm fighting every day of my life.

EDIT:

Meant to add this in as well and remembered it after the fact. So I figured I'd just edit it into the bottom of this. But shit really just needs to be fixed in this country, obviously. But there's no reason as to why people can't make more than enough money to get by and not have to work themselves to death to do it. You should only really have to work 4, hell even 3 days a week, and be able to make enough money to get by and save some. Let alone you shouldn't have to work for most of your life and never get any rest from it. Something needs done one way or another. It's why I always say that the only way to fix things at this point is to burn it all down and start over. Because things are just working way too well for the rich to attempt to fix it.