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Uh oh. Been doing that thinking thing again.
7 months ago
General
Some crazy stuff happened this week that resulted in my husband pretty much saving a friends life, where no one had heard from a friend of ours for the best part of a week and...well..we don't normally talk to this friend daily or even weekly, or actually even fortnightly so we had no reason to think anything was up, but hearing that noone else had heard from them for a week (including folk who do normally talk to them daily) We were like...this isn't right. So Daddy phoned the police to do a welfare check and the police broke into our friends house and found our friend had collapsed and had been on the floor of their bedroom for 6 days unable to reach a phone and seriously dehydrated. They're alive and hopefully gonna be out of hospital in a few days but..yeah any longer would have been a different story.
That was Thursday last week and I've been with this pent up buzzing energy ever since. The what if's and the How to stop that happening again, buzzing around in my head. Not just that but the thought of all the people I dont talk to daily, or weekly or bi weekly or monthly. Heck when was the last time I phoned my mother?
My brain has gone into a weird tug of war, between must contact absolutely everyone to make sure they're ok, to there's just so many people i worry about that there's too many so I wont contact anyone.
Then there's me and paul, we're actually kinda quite isloated really, like if me and paul got into a car crash and got wiped out, or if there was a carbon monixde thing in our house, pretty sure it would be weeks before anyone noticed. I think 2 missed shine days would be enough for folk to start asking questions but by that point...2 weeks down the line, i'd probably be doomed.
We don't really talk to people, I think people think im constant in contact with folk but the truth of the matter is i'm really really not, I draw pictures, I post pictures, thats pretty much me at the moment (and even the posting pics is kinda stuck with fa's R.O.M right now LOL, so very little in the way of social interaction. Like there is literally no one i talk to daily. or even weekly. And our friend almost dying on their bedroom floor really kinda woke me up.
So maybe i need to write more journals like make at least 2 a week so there's some kind of contact, and between that and shine posts maybe that'll be nough for someone to think...hey she hasnt posted in over a week i wonder if she's ok?
Also. If you speak to someone daily and suddenly they're not in contact after a couple of days without having said they're off on holiday or something, maybe give them a poke or check up on them. My friend was lucky the story could have ended differently.
That was Thursday last week and I've been with this pent up buzzing energy ever since. The what if's and the How to stop that happening again, buzzing around in my head. Not just that but the thought of all the people I dont talk to daily, or weekly or bi weekly or monthly. Heck when was the last time I phoned my mother?
My brain has gone into a weird tug of war, between must contact absolutely everyone to make sure they're ok, to there's just so many people i worry about that there's too many so I wont contact anyone.
Then there's me and paul, we're actually kinda quite isloated really, like if me and paul got into a car crash and got wiped out, or if there was a carbon monixde thing in our house, pretty sure it would be weeks before anyone noticed. I think 2 missed shine days would be enough for folk to start asking questions but by that point...2 weeks down the line, i'd probably be doomed.
We don't really talk to people, I think people think im constant in contact with folk but the truth of the matter is i'm really really not, I draw pictures, I post pictures, thats pretty much me at the moment (and even the posting pics is kinda stuck with fa's R.O.M right now LOL, so very little in the way of social interaction. Like there is literally no one i talk to daily. or even weekly. And our friend almost dying on their bedroom floor really kinda woke me up.
So maybe i need to write more journals like make at least 2 a week so there's some kind of contact, and between that and shine posts maybe that'll be nough for someone to think...hey she hasnt posted in over a week i wonder if she's ok?
Also. If you speak to someone daily and suddenly they're not in contact after a couple of days without having said they're off on holiday or something, maybe give them a poke or check up on them. My friend was lucky the story could have ended differently.
As for the latter half, I know that feel somewhat. I don't often do iRL hangout stuff... But I do try to poke most of my friends on discord or messenger or text, just to try and keep some semblance of attachment.
Maybe not "Journal" here on FA, but branching out maybe? Posting just something on like bsky, or trying to poke someone or a few people somewhere. It doesn't have to be much, just something you can do to try and stay social somewhat.
I've been helping my folks a bunch, and helping neighbors when I can, as things besides being online poking friends. Small things help~
It seems perfectly natural to me to want to contact everyone else in your social circle to make sure everyone else is okay, it's totally what I would do!
I live in a pretty rural area myself, so that is also a worry I have. Something happening to me and no one I care about knowing.
you know where to find me hun :P
Sometimes the sense of impending doom really drives me crazy and I have to chill out
I haven't had a major life loss yet and idk how I will react when it happens tbh
Its definitely important to check up on people
I feel for you on the isolation bit. I've been trying to meet more local people where I am for a variety of reasons, and one of the reasons is definitely for safety. If something happens and I need help, and my partner isn't here, who do I reach out to? Even if I don't make a bff for life locally, just having a casual acquaintance can be a lifesaver. I'm hoping to join a local group at the knitting club, or to check out my nearby LGBTQ+ community center, and hopefully build that sort of regular presence with some people nearby.
I'm sorry I've not been in touch much in these past few years, ickle sis. I do keep up with your journal posts though. 🐭💙🩵
In at least two other cases I know of, the person died, and was found a few days later in a wellness check because no one had seen them around. :(
Yes, it's scary and sobering, especially to those of us who don't have many contact points.
One of my elderly neighbors down the lane had a stroke last summer. She had been able to reach her phone and call for help. She just came home from the nursing home over the weekend, and I'm making a point to touch base with her at least once a day (with her permission, I asked) to make sure she's able to pick up the phone, and ask her if she's had food that day. It's concerning because she lives alone and needs a wheelchair to get around. We're "waving neighbors" so it's a little awkward, but since she needs help, I've volunteered to step up and at least be part of her network.
I hope things get better for you
The idea of some kind of sealed contact details for while we're away at places covering "official name" who to cantact what identity they know and that has merit but we really need to think about some kind of role call whereby if that person hasn't called in by so many days, one of us rings them first (or messages) and if nothing happens armed with information calls can be made to relatives, trusted neighbours and if necessary the local emergency services.
I generally have contact stuff on me cos I know stuff can easily happen with me and if I'm staying anywhere the room is open so anyone can check up.
If you were interested in getting something going let me know by DM here or at Discord.
Regards Jo.
Always bring your phone, everywhere, all the time. ESPECIALLY if you live alone.
As family members get older, I think we should normalize daily morning text messages or something. Doesn't have to be much, just send a "Good Morning" GIF and make sure they reply back with their own GIF and you're good for at least 24 hours.
I get what you mean about isolation. Do you what you gotta do.
For the record, going into "how to stop the disaster in the future" spirals after an experience like you describe is pretty common. Don't worry too much about it; as long as planning for worst case scenarios doesn't completely take over your life for the rest of your life, you're doing okay. (And better than most survivalists actually; the literature is filled with maladaptive coping mechanisms in response to traumatic events.)
One question. Will you be at Confuzzled? A lot of new stuff has come up. Pity about Pawpets getting axed.
It's a miracle your friend is still alive and is gonna be okay! Good on Paul for making that phone call!
Also, reaching out to friends every so often is a good thing. Hearing their voice or seeing their words can really help with isolation. Don’t be afraid or nervous about talking to someone. They say the best foundation for a good relationship is good communication, and that’s true for any relationship, even your friends.
If you can't afford that get a home phone service, at least. Home phone kits usually come with 4 phones: one for each room. You never have to worry about them being out of service range, or low on battery so long as they're kept on the charging base.
My dad went out with a heart attack almost 2 years ago at around 58~ and my grandpa was still even alive at that time. But he also kicked the bucket 1 year later :(
But what I always tell everyone, make the most of the days you have. Every time *could* be the last time you see someone.
But just don't think about it that was, because else you will be frightened to even let go of people. And I cannot say I haven't sadly :(
Your friend is very lucky you did.