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Anthrocon 2025: How'd It Go?
2 months ago
Had a few days to rest, so I think its time to talk about my trip!
Anthrocon 2025 was a very mixed bag for me. There were a lot of very incredible highs, but there were also some absolutely devastating lows. I don't think it was as bad as my AC 2 years ago, but it was... not very good.
I went with some very close friends,
floatymyboaty and 
pickled-potoo. I was essentially hosting the trip. I was the person who organized the hotel booking, drove folks up there, and so on. When I do this, I feel like it is my responsibility to take care of my friends, keep them safe, and make sure they have a good time. Thankfully, they did, but it was at the cost of my own enjoyment.
I had an absolutely miserable time. I was not able to rest nor relax. I had 2 terrible panic attacks, which I have never, EVER had at a convention before. Whenever I would run into folks, I found myself flubbing my words or losing trains of thought. Commonly, I said to folks that my brain was "off" or some other excuse. I may not have realized it in the moment, but what was happening was a combination of two things:
1.) After all the stress of getting there, and worrying about being attacked by my sibling, when I finally DID get to the con, registered, checked in, and settled, my brain let go of all that weight and stress at once. It wanted nothing more than to sleep. Rest. Relax. It was like I was holding a ton of bricks for months, then finally was allowed to let it all go. All that weight just WUMPHED down on my mind.
2.) I was... not equipped to handle the social needs/challenges involved in taking care of my friends. I'm not a trained professional, I'm just a guy who has his own mental health issues to deal with. So I didn't know how to handle the social situations I found myself in with my group. I... really don't want to sound bad, but I gotta be blunt: I'm not used to rooming with folks on the spectrum, and I was absolutely not prepared for it. I was very upset with how frustrated I got. I hated myself for it. I was so tremendously stressed trying to ensure that everyone was cared for, felt happy, and was comfortable. I didn't want anyone to be bored or left out. But I didn't balance it at all, and gave myself basically no time to breathe.
This just... absolutely fried my brain. I am already a shy mess who struggles to socialize, but with this, I was just... absolutely dead, unable to hold conversations, and making myself look like an idiot in front of artists I really look up to.
I already talked with my friends extensively about what happened, and the sad truth that we came to is that we don't really work well together in this scenario. We all have our own limitations, needs, and energy levels, and it just doesn't mesh together. I still love them lots, I still had good, fun moments with them, but this specific combo of situations isn't one we can do again.
It was during day 3 that I absolutely broke down. I hid in the bathroom, and silently cried. It had hit me that I was wasting my con. That I wasn't having fun. I just couldn't handle it. I wanted to scream. I needed a vacation from my vacation. I just wanted to get away. Thankfully, my panic attack medication was able to keep me relatively calm, but the absolute funk my brain was in never left. I want to thank
jinsei for being so supportive and kind during all of this. He was very helpful in helping me calm down and recenter. I feel so bad venting and crying to you for help, but I am so very thankful you were there.
Now the con was not ALL bad. There were a lot of good moments. The best was easily the unofficial vore meet we held after the absolute disaster that was the official one. The vore meet was put in the absolute worst place possible: A double conference room. I have no idea how on earth the Macro, Transformation, AND Muscle meetups were allowed to happen in Hall C, but the vore meet was not. ALL of the big meetups took place in Hall C, which is a MASSIVE area able to fit hundreds of people. Anthrocon staff KNEW at least 600+ people would be there thanks to the new scheduling system, yet still decided this was best. It was impossibly crowded and overwhelming to such a degree that it literally could not be held. So my friends and I went to a more secluded area, grabbed a few tables, and drew together.
There was such a wonderful collection of folks that showed up. I wish I properly spoke to everyone, because you all absolutely made my con. Being able to hang out with everyone, and just... actually connect, draw, chitchat, it was so lovely. It really felt special, and everyone was so sweet and kind. I don't remember all the names of folks who were there, but I so very much appreciate you for coming. It made me feel special, and... I really needed that <3
We got to hang out at other points during the convention too, but this was... just very special. Spending time with all of you, not just on this night, but on the other days as well, made me remember just how wonderful, skilled, and kind this community is. Seeing everyone's work in the dealer's room, seeing all of us connect and bond over our doodles and conversations, it made me remember how special being a furry was. I was a shy mess who was going through such awful mental health issues, but you all made me feel important and special.
So thank you to:
maventreecat
samanthaweltzin
fataltragedy2004
lapseph
damienfox
ante
hiddenpangolin
afoxnamedbox
jinsei
zairiza
levai181
denimwizard
washamanoose
I know there are some names I am probably forgetting. If I did, I am so sorry for that. But please know, that if we talked at all during the con, you probably made it a highlight of the event for me. I love you all dearly and I don't ever want to forget how special what we have in this fandom is.
Because ultimately, despite how awful this year's con was for me, there was one very important takeaway I walked away with: This fandom is so special, and I don't ever want to forget that. I don't ever want to be away from it again. I don't want to sink into the agony of daily life. I want to thrive in this lifestyle again. To be HERE again. To feel this energy, this special feeling, every single day. I don't want to be away ever again. I'm going to work so hard to be present, to be positive, to be myself in as open a way as possible. I feel energized to make things, to do things, to get off my ass and try. I am going to be here, and I don't ever want to leave again.
Thank you all for supporting me, for being kind to me, for enjoying what I do. It means more than you could possibly imagine. I am alive because of this fandom, and I don't ever want to forget that.
Love you all so much <3
If you would like to see the photos I took during the convention, please check out this folder here! Please tag/share with folks if you recognize thier suit! I apologize for the terrible quality, this new phone I got sucks shit and ruined all the pictures I took. I am very upset <3 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ys.....ew?usp=sharing
Anthrocon 2025 was a very mixed bag for me. There were a lot of very incredible highs, but there were also some absolutely devastating lows. I don't think it was as bad as my AC 2 years ago, but it was... not very good.
I went with some very close friends,
floatymyboaty and 
pickled-potoo. I was essentially hosting the trip. I was the person who organized the hotel booking, drove folks up there, and so on. When I do this, I feel like it is my responsibility to take care of my friends, keep them safe, and make sure they have a good time. Thankfully, they did, but it was at the cost of my own enjoyment.I had an absolutely miserable time. I was not able to rest nor relax. I had 2 terrible panic attacks, which I have never, EVER had at a convention before. Whenever I would run into folks, I found myself flubbing my words or losing trains of thought. Commonly, I said to folks that my brain was "off" or some other excuse. I may not have realized it in the moment, but what was happening was a combination of two things:
1.) After all the stress of getting there, and worrying about being attacked by my sibling, when I finally DID get to the con, registered, checked in, and settled, my brain let go of all that weight and stress at once. It wanted nothing more than to sleep. Rest. Relax. It was like I was holding a ton of bricks for months, then finally was allowed to let it all go. All that weight just WUMPHED down on my mind.
2.) I was... not equipped to handle the social needs/challenges involved in taking care of my friends. I'm not a trained professional, I'm just a guy who has his own mental health issues to deal with. So I didn't know how to handle the social situations I found myself in with my group. I... really don't want to sound bad, but I gotta be blunt: I'm not used to rooming with folks on the spectrum, and I was absolutely not prepared for it. I was very upset with how frustrated I got. I hated myself for it. I was so tremendously stressed trying to ensure that everyone was cared for, felt happy, and was comfortable. I didn't want anyone to be bored or left out. But I didn't balance it at all, and gave myself basically no time to breathe.
This just... absolutely fried my brain. I am already a shy mess who struggles to socialize, but with this, I was just... absolutely dead, unable to hold conversations, and making myself look like an idiot in front of artists I really look up to.
I already talked with my friends extensively about what happened, and the sad truth that we came to is that we don't really work well together in this scenario. We all have our own limitations, needs, and energy levels, and it just doesn't mesh together. I still love them lots, I still had good, fun moments with them, but this specific combo of situations isn't one we can do again.
It was during day 3 that I absolutely broke down. I hid in the bathroom, and silently cried. It had hit me that I was wasting my con. That I wasn't having fun. I just couldn't handle it. I wanted to scream. I needed a vacation from my vacation. I just wanted to get away. Thankfully, my panic attack medication was able to keep me relatively calm, but the absolute funk my brain was in never left. I want to thank
jinsei for being so supportive and kind during all of this. He was very helpful in helping me calm down and recenter. I feel so bad venting and crying to you for help, but I am so very thankful you were there. Now the con was not ALL bad. There were a lot of good moments. The best was easily the unofficial vore meet we held after the absolute disaster that was the official one. The vore meet was put in the absolute worst place possible: A double conference room. I have no idea how on earth the Macro, Transformation, AND Muscle meetups were allowed to happen in Hall C, but the vore meet was not. ALL of the big meetups took place in Hall C, which is a MASSIVE area able to fit hundreds of people. Anthrocon staff KNEW at least 600+ people would be there thanks to the new scheduling system, yet still decided this was best. It was impossibly crowded and overwhelming to such a degree that it literally could not be held. So my friends and I went to a more secluded area, grabbed a few tables, and drew together.
There was such a wonderful collection of folks that showed up. I wish I properly spoke to everyone, because you all absolutely made my con. Being able to hang out with everyone, and just... actually connect, draw, chitchat, it was so lovely. It really felt special, and everyone was so sweet and kind. I don't remember all the names of folks who were there, but I so very much appreciate you for coming. It made me feel special, and... I really needed that <3
We got to hang out at other points during the convention too, but this was... just very special. Spending time with all of you, not just on this night, but on the other days as well, made me remember just how wonderful, skilled, and kind this community is. Seeing everyone's work in the dealer's room, seeing all of us connect and bond over our doodles and conversations, it made me remember how special being a furry was. I was a shy mess who was going through such awful mental health issues, but you all made me feel important and special.
So thank you to:
maventreecat
samanthaweltzin
fataltragedy2004
lapseph
damienfox
ante
hiddenpangolin
afoxnamedbox jinsei
zairiza
levai181
denimwizard
washamanooseI know there are some names I am probably forgetting. If I did, I am so sorry for that. But please know, that if we talked at all during the con, you probably made it a highlight of the event for me. I love you all dearly and I don't ever want to forget how special what we have in this fandom is.
Because ultimately, despite how awful this year's con was for me, there was one very important takeaway I walked away with: This fandom is so special, and I don't ever want to forget that. I don't ever want to be away from it again. I don't want to sink into the agony of daily life. I want to thrive in this lifestyle again. To be HERE again. To feel this energy, this special feeling, every single day. I don't want to be away ever again. I'm going to work so hard to be present, to be positive, to be myself in as open a way as possible. I feel energized to make things, to do things, to get off my ass and try. I am going to be here, and I don't ever want to leave again.
Thank you all for supporting me, for being kind to me, for enjoying what I do. It means more than you could possibly imagine. I am alive because of this fandom, and I don't ever want to forget that.
Love you all so much <3
If you would like to see the photos I took during the convention, please check out this folder here! Please tag/share with folks if you recognize thier suit! I apologize for the terrible quality, this new phone I got sucks shit and ruined all the pictures I took. I am very upset <3 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ys.....ew?usp=sharing
Be safe, take care of yourself, and stay your awesome self. ^^
I will do my best, thank you <3
Thank you for helping me feel included and wanted, too. It truly means so very much to me in such a deep way. I wrote most of my thoughts in my own journal, but to summarize, it was a huge step past my mental barriers when I decided to join the queue at registration, and I am so truly happy and grateful that I did.
And yes, part of the joy I felt was getting to meet you. Thank you again. <3
Sorry it wasn't that great, but I'm glad you drew inspiration from it regardless. I agree: I am going to embrace this community wholeheartedly 'til the day I die. We are some of the best people on the planet, and I want to spread that joy and comfort to the rest of the world if I can.
Its just... Such a wonderful, special group of people, who are all so skilled and kind. I don't want to ever lose sight of that again.
I did have alot of fun and i hope we can guu more soons!
I hope so too!
While we didnt have the same kind of time at the con, it's nice to hear that we at least came to the same ultimate conclusion. While I didnt have many stressful or panicked moments at the con itself, I had to go through a lot of personal and social hurdles before I even went to the con, many of whixh made me worry about even being able to go at all. And the one thing that was constantly at the back of my mind was worrying that i was spending too much or that i was going to break myself. Even mow I've been too afraid to check my bank statement to see how im doing financially. But as I sat down during the opening ceremonies, I started to break down and cry out of the sheer gratitude of being able to make it at all, the gratitude over the Fandom itself for existing and making me feel like I wasn't alone for at least a few days; making me feel comfortable being myself around everyone. It was such a strange, indescribable good feeling, that after having come home, the PCD has hit me harder than it ever has before, and it's been a real struggle to get back into the swing of things.
I hate that things didnt work out for you. Floaty is an old friend of mine and we go way back. While I haven't spoken to them in several years due to... my own personal mistakes, I can only imagine how they and your other roomie felt seeing you struggle. Conventions can be heaps of fun but they can also tend to take a lot out of us, and I'm sorry you had to deal with everything you did. If you decide to ever attend AC in the future, I hope things work out much better for you and you're able to properly enjoy yourself there. Something as incredible as Anthrocon is not the place to be struggling with a mental break. <3
It is absolutely insane to me that they didnt host the vore meet up in Hall C. They had Macro, Muscle, and Transformation meetups in there, but not vore. It seems almost hypocritical or exclusionary to include those but not permit vore. Just awful planning...
I am so happy you had a good time. There is no feeling like a furry con. Theres this... Special aura to it, this feeling of community that is unlike any other convention I've gone to. You feel like you can be yourself with no walls, no boundaries, no more hiding. Its so wonderful <3 and it is REALLY hard to go back to normal life afterwords...
I do plan on going again, Anthrocon is like home to me, but unfortunately it wont be with that group. Love my friends to death, we just dont mesh in this specific scenario, which stinks. I plan on going to ad many furry cons as humanly possible. I dont want to miss any of this again <3
I wish I could afford to go to more conventions! My original plans were to attend FTO and MFF later this year, but the way things are going, I'll probably have to miss MFF.
Thankfully FTO is a far smaller con and spread out over a much larger area so the risk of being overwhelmed is greatly reduced! Hell, it saw its biggest year ever last year, and that was only around 550 attendees, and that was after Hurricane Helene had swept through and made everything muggy!
I don't know how far out of the way it would be to you, but I would definitely recommend FTO! Its a very unique convention in that it takes place at a wilderness resort up in the mountains!
And I feel the same way, I'd attend every con thats within a manageable driving distance to me if I could! I just can't afford them all!
not that I want you to continue struggling for my sake or anything XD XD bweh
But nah, so long as we all still had fun, that seems to be what counts... aaaand we can make adjustments for the next time around.