It's ok. I hope you feel better.

Apology accepted. But after this I will no longer accept apologies, I will only accept action.

Did I wrong you before? What did I do?

People make mistakes. The most important thing is to spot when you are in the wrong when it happens or not. Spotting the issue is always one step of improving oneself.

Seeing what was said here, I... understand why you feel guilt about it. And I am so sorry you went through a lot of it. Do know, what has happened, happened. I don't know you very well, but I can say that... blaming yourself won't resolve things. Guilt weighs heavily all the time. And I'd highly suggest that it is best to not let it control you.

Instead, doing what you can now to be a better person, making sure to not let these feelings you've experienced happen again is your best course of having a better life.

Regardless, you went through a lot. I do hope things get better for you despite it all.

Mistakes are what makes us human, its partly how we learn things and its how we learn what makes us, us

Gosh, I feel you on this so hard, I hope I'm also not responsible for any similar situations. It can be so hard to maintain a lot of relationships, also reading other people's reactions can be tough, especially online.

This was very inspiring to read though, it shows genuine remorse and a desire to grow and be better. I really hope things work out for the best for you, and don't beat yourself up too much, you're doing the most important steps: learning, growing and making amends!

Well i hope that you feel better from this because i am about as introverted as the next person but that doesn't stop me from trying to live my life to the full. I would recommend breaking that habit and breaking through the depression and live your life to the full as well because if you keep it up then it will do more harm than good because we all make mistakes but we can power through them and become better people in the end. I hope that you get better from this and hope to talk to you more in the future.

No worries, it's good to learn but don't be too harsh on yourself
take care lar

🫂

addon:
I do not think you have ever wronged me, in fact I believe we never met. However, I do love your creations and feel similar social issues (though I don't want to get into them deeply for comparing/contrasting), I've burned some bridges, felt lucky I've had some built back up let alone stand, had issues with controlling my emotions (even now), wish I could've said more to the dead, ect.

That being said, if we were to ever have time to mutually gush about our fanworks and OCs in a chat; I'd be more than happy, even knowing your flaws. Maybe you don't want to do that, maybe your not fond of my fandoms for my SFW stuff and kinks for my NSFW stuff, but I figured you needed to hear that. It'd be something I wanted to hear, someone knowing I'm a retarded POS but still wanting to do a hyperfixation session.

If you need a break, you need a break. Won't stop you.

And sorry about Vespa and the anonymous other friend, that shit sucks.

holy hsit
im truly sorry
we all need to take a break
*hugs*

I will say that you have never wronged me, and that I hope anyone who feels wronged will forgive you as it does take a lot to swallow one's pride and make a public post of this nature. It's one thing to realize such things and another to try to take steps to right it.

That said, while it is good to try to respond to others, like friends, you have roughly 7,500 followers on here and I can only imagine how many messages you tend to get. I hope you are not holding it against yourself if you didn't respond to random messages from unknown people. And similarly I hope none are holding such against you. You don't owe any random person anything in terms of a random message from an unknown. Again, I don't know how many you possibly get, but others should not expect a response from you and should not hold it against you.

yeah that's completely understandable if you feel you haven't done enough for friends, though it doesn't mean all your negative feeling were invalid but from this there seems to be a long path towards getting better

Im Sorry For Not Being There To Help You 😔

You don't need to be sorry, this is my responsibility after all, not yours, though I appreciate the kindness you share.

You’re Welcome Anytime Lar It’s Always My Pleasure To Help An Amazing Person Like You Succeed In Their Careers

We all have flaws n make mistakes and as a fellow introvert i feel ya on a level or two. I hope you can find the strength to push past some of this. Takes a lot of courage to admit faults, especially this deeply. I truly hope you have a better year friend.


Oh btw its ok if you dont respond to my messages right away if at all, just makes the responses i get more treasured. Take all the time ya need. X3

Wow, dude, that’s pretty deep but I still understand your problems, I’m autistic and I’m trying my best to grow up. But my selfishness and bad behavior stops me from doing that, but I have my friends and family and my plushies to help me be the best mature adult I can be. So I forgive you for that. Don’t think of what you did in the past as mistakes think of them as improvements on the new you, so get out of the darkness of the past and start walking towards the bright light of the future! I can really feel the emotion you’ve put into this letter of apology. I love your works as inspirations to my future digital artist career, we all love you and don’t you ever forget that!

There's a lot to unpack from this massive apology message, but I will say this....

Unless if you knew these people personally, in real life, or was born with this family and knew that family...We may never know what the person was truly struggling with. Loss of family members/friends (either due to unfortunate terror incidents, suicide, accidents, disasters, or diseases (some of which do not have a cure to this very day), trauma or past histories of negative/dark moments in that person's life they are not able to shake or let go altogether, a mental/physical/emotional condition that's been passed down from their parents or from other related families and human beings, bullying/harassment/tragedies/awful things both in real life and online that, many don't realize they have truly hurt the person's feelings or have done it on purpose to make this "vulnerable individual" look bad...There are so many factors that not many users online would know what truly happens behind the scenes, that many resort to suicide, depression, or dying from a disease they weren't able to control or reduce (Life sucks really).

For me, I've been used to this since hearing news of famous actors and entertainment people that have passed away, most of them due to drug overdose or loneliness. And as for you, I think it was really due to a massive lack of misunderstanding and communication. Heck, I didn't even know you were an introvert all this time. Regardless, seeing you struggle with your mental/emotional wellbeing, it would be difficult to try and support others if you are struggling with your own internal problems as well. Sometimes you have to try and fix yourself first before you try and help others out (that's the advice I usually take and it's helped me get over a lot of things I've feared in the past, but there's still so much to seek out, learn, and go through to truly understand what life truly is like, and not something I've seen in entertainment at all). But to be honest, it's been a long time since I've commented on this channel, because your art style has massively changed for the past 3 years compared to what you used to draw 8 to 10 years back. To this day, I don't know what I said on deviantART that hurt your feelings, but I hope you understand I wasn't being mean to you. I was only saying what was on my mind.

Ever since I first started my youtube account in January 2010, I've come across a multitude of individuals who range from kind and agree with my comments, to those who are nasty and so profane, I'm sure if I ever share the comment from what "IfYouReplyYouLoseNow" has said to me back in March/April 2011, you would have gone insane from the amount of swearing, slang, and slurs he threw at me, just because I didn't know "Pokeshipping" was a thing. Even his profile picture was Ash and Richie kissing each other and thinking, "Yep, that's a homosexual/gay person...Not surprising that's what he likes and only have 8 friends he truly liked and hated everyone else". And as for me, I am one of those few people who rarely, Rarely blocks people, because I give them "Second, Third, Fourth, heck, even many chances" to redeem themselves. But I would say after the third/fourth attempt at giving them a chance, there's only so much I can do to try and help this person out online, until I have to block them and let them fix their own personality first before coming back to me with a different attitude (sometimes you can't fix people who either are nasty or depressed beyond fixing).

There have been many ads, public service announcements, and education over the years of what to look out for and the signs, yet many forget because we don't have enough experience of how to tell the signs of what the person is going through until it's way too late to stop it. Sometimes, people who are suicidal or depressed don't open themselves up to other people, simply because of having to go through a psychiatric ward (believe me, I've been there from a student who thought I was suicidal, when in reality I was just upset at a film teacher in high school of why we can't use weapons or guns in high school. It made me hate that teacher more, as well as a student named "Serkon" that reported me to the principals and I ended up at a St. Claire's Psychological part of the hospital in November 2013...It goes to show that after I told the psychologist that I wasn't really that upset and was more of a n excuse to cut class that day, you can say that after all of that, I'm sure I was upset or angry towards Serkon. And sometimes I wouldn't look at him in the eye or talk with him anymore, except a few sentences here and there just to make my personality look normal, even though mentally, at that time in 2013/2014, I was purely insane. So I can totally get why others don't want to end up in a psychiatrist ward because you would be stripped of all your clothes, and yes, personal belongings as well. And you can't even listen to your own music with headphones mind you, and have you sit in a hospital bed for months on end, or god knows how long until you are at least cured of your depression as much as possible. Or the doctor gives you anti-depressant drugs that actually makes you worse off than if you only talk about it with those you really trust.)

At the end of the day, and as my mom would always say this question to me time and time again, "Who Are Your Go-To People When You're Upset Or Angry? Who Are Your Go-To People?" And after mentioning who are my go-to people, she would later mention, "Then Why Did You Tell This Person About (Insert Name/Title/Topic/Situation Here)? When You Don't Know This Person (Insert Birth Name Here)?"...The reason why she would mention that question to me, is not only to not get into trouble, but also know who to go to when you're down, upset, angry, lonely, suicidal, etc. It helps with talking to someone that can understand what you're truly going through. And that's something straight out of a guidebook for those on the Autism Spectrum, I sure if this part of the lesson was taught in K-12, people out there wouldn't feel scared to reach out to someone they can turn too. Again, at the end of the day, the lack of communication, plus the person not reaching out to someone about their true feelings, these types of incidents will happen time, and time, and time, and time, and time, and time again. I can understand what it's like to lose someone you truly love or was one of your family members (I've lost four in the past 19 years of living on this planet (Especially my grandmother 5 years and 11 months back), one of which before I was even born (which was an aunt I never met in May 1995). So I can truly understand how much it's painful to have two individuals take their own lives like this (Suicide Should Never Be Your Final Solution To Your Problem, EVER...Never Ever Resort To Suicide As Your Final Solution To Your Life, There's Always An Alternative Choice, But It Starts With Someone You Truly And Honestly, Truthfully Trust, Without Gossip, Backstabbing, Hatred, or Nasty/Cruel to you....I'm just saying)....

Now, as for you Latiar010, I do hope you reflect on the issues you're going through, and find a way to fix it to the best of your ability. Again, I'm not upset at you, nor would I ever try to send death threats to someone that hasn't responded in a while. Heck, I usually wait for a few months or earlier (3 months at minimum), just to see if it's a good time to talk or not...But I had no clue you weren't this social, despite how much beautiful artwork you've made for the past 10/11 years that I've come across your art page 9 years back...(Sighs)....Just remember that whenever you feel better, motivated, and are able to handle multitude of messages, come back nice and refreshed, and continue to make artwork, just like you have in the past. I accept your apology, and I hope you feel better latiar010...Take care...

-InflationFan1080
(A Furaffinity user since July 23rd, 2014)

You've got some good views, I'll definitely say that. And I'm sorry for what you've gone through too.
I feel like I might have been rude to you one or two times, I don't recall anything specific, but if I have acted irrationally towards you before, I'm sorry, and it won't happen again.

I'm fine LarAnthrod, don't worry, I forgive your mistakes...Again, I don't remember what I said back on deviantART that ticked you off, but I'm not upset at you. We all have our outbursts, issues, vents/rants in life, etc. (believe me, even I had my ten year time of having to deal with it due to a boston terror attack two days after I left Boston from a Choir trip that caused me to go into this deep rabbit hole that took me a few years to get over, and then another for the other things going on between 2015 through 2021. It happens, but I'm still here LarAnthrod, and I haven't lost my old interests as I have from back in the late 1990s through the early 2000s).

So whatever has happened between you and me in the past, I'm fine with. And as for the viewpoints from suicide to diseases...It's hard to keep up with all of these issues, tasks, events, family drama, all of that stuff...And even then, I didn't know what happened to Vespa until you mentioned it (which I'm not upset about it, just that I found it common for other people except me to suffer so badly to where they fall into that hole of darkness and depression, simply because they don't have a single person to reach out to and explain their true colors without ridicule, hate, or distrust...Believe me, I've been there, I've seen females pretending they're in love with me even though it was just for shoots and giggles, I've met people that don't bother to call me on my cell phone in the past, and I rarely made many friends, but I'm okay with that. Sometimes I don't need many friends in my life, nor many followers, when one or two people I really love/like is good enough for me).

But in terms of rudeness, I'm okay with it. I was just confused or wondering why I got blocked on deviantART but not here....But after reading through all of this, I can understand better what you're going through, and I hope you are doing your best to fix and take a moment of reflection to help improve your mental and emotional mindset. If you were to talk to me in voice chat, you'd be surprised that I wasn't upset, just more of "Oop, she blocked me, I'll find someone else to follow instead" type of calm, shrugged, and relaxed mentality. Plus, your art style evolved so much it wasn't the same as it once was, so I went to look for other artists outside of here (I still watch your art page, just that I haven't commented in 7 years and such so, there's that to consider).

But again, don't worry too much about it, it's just a misunderstanding that's all. =)...Again, as I've put into my Discord DM bio, "If you like to mention stuff that isn't comfortable or allowed in the server, DM me anything and I'll respond as soon as possible." What I'm saying is that anyone can drop a message to me if they're upset, angry, or need someone to talk to. And believe me, I rarely, RARELY, block people...Because it's not in my best interest to block someone over a minor comment. If I get punished, so be it, if I get kindness in return, I know at least I made someone else feel better. The moment 2023 came around, I've completely changed and moved on from the things I was worried about 12 years back...But again, it's a learning experience, so I forgive you...Thanks for the response LarAnthrod...

Ohh, one more thing, how should I call you as?? Latiar or by your new username?? Just asking.

Huh, I dont know why I blocked you, maybe something happened between us or I was having a bad day, im not sure. I'm sorry about that, I'm willing to unblock tho, can you tell me your username there?

I prefer Lar honestly, I dont like Latiar anymore.

Ahh okay, that's fine...Again, nothing bad about it, I shrugged, wasn't sure why, but moved on. So it's fine, it's MJMSTUDIOS2020 on deviantART if you want to find me there.

Okay, I wanted to ask just incase, so I don't call you by your previous username. Again, it'll take a while for me to get used to the new username, but I will try that's for sure.
Again, thanks for making this journal, now I understand why you are like this. Again, hopefully you're doing well LarAnthrod, take care.

There you go, that should be it done.

Trust me, I'm bad with names too, no pressure.

Thank you LarAnthrod.

Huh, I guess we have one thin in common too. But again, it depends on how many times I meet the person in order to remember the person/individual's name.

I don't really know what to say in this regard. Always liked your art, i know for certain i've made requests before but for me, i never thought of them as rude or anything. maybe i was being a bit socially blind myself and didn't pick up on it.


However i will say this, regardless of any guilt weather it be one's own fault or not, all you can do is make amends which you were able to even if it was late. After which you just need to move on, and i will end with this.. I hope after your break you will return being refreshed, because i wouldn't want to see another artist "disappear" from this website for some reason or another permanently. So please at least try to do yourself some good.

You can't fix anything if you yourself aren't healthy in the first place.

I see why you're upset and apologizing, that's good. It can get overwhelming in your position, you're a popular artist and a lot of people love your work. Honestly you have to limit yourself to a smaller group of people you regularly communicate with (especially an artist with a large following like yourself), otherwise you'd go nuts. I know I'd only be able to handle like 4 close contacts at best if I had your level of popularity. And you can't blame yourself for everything that happened to your friend, you were not the only factor in their choices and outcome. But these are just my thoughts on the matter. Best you can do now is learn from this and apply it to the future, which it seems like you already plan on doing. Take a breath and heal from the now, then take the next step. It'll take time but you will heal.

We haven't really interacted much, but in any case, I understand you; I've been through your same situation. What matters here is that you recognized and faced your mistakes, that is the first step on fixing them. You are not a bad person, you just did some wrong stuff, and the fact that as mentioned you recognize them as mistakes just proves it

:(