A lot has happened in over half a decade. Loves, losses, friends leaving permanently, friends joining. the way it has affected me and the understanding of trauma on a more fundamental level of how it has affected me. I am no longer the same person I was those years ago, and in some cases, I might have evolved, or might not have.

I sort of seem to reinvent myself like a mosaic piecing itself back together for people. a fragment of my true self of what I like and what I adore. But I guess I might have become a truer version of myself in those years. Its been hard to really understand myself from the new experiences, and how much I seem to flounder in them. But I am happy I get to experience them at all. I need to, its how I grow. Its how I better understand myself and everybody else around me. I no longer have lack of agency, I do strive for understanding and connection, though.. I can't say I haven't made some terrible mistakes. With the people I trusted and the people who I left behind because I couldn't even get a response until it was too late.

I have friends who care about me now, more than ever, more than I thought possible. I can be trusted to learn and make mistakes and not be so hard on myself and understand and navigate the adult world. I can say University and College instead of self infantalizing. I am grown, growing up, and will continue to grow throughout these next few years. Depending on how things go. I might upload a bit here.