We are back home. Things have been a lot.
My mother's eyes were closed, she looked asleep.. but I could like.. ask her questions and ask her to move her legs in response to yes and no. I feel I could see her throat move like she wanted to talk.

Her heart struggled for a while. I watched her gasp for air - she couldn't open her mouth, but i saw and heard the gasps between her lips - and and she felt a lot of discomfort just before her heart stopped and the doctors tried to help her.

She was so thin.

We made it just in time to see her. She passed away just a few hours after we arrived in town on Monday. She did not recover from when my sister passed almost exactly 1 year ago. My sister also did not recover well after the passing of my father a few years ago. It has been a cascading effect of tragedy and pain.

I've lost my dad, my sister and my mom all in the last 4 years.

There is a lot more going on. I'll be starting therapy sometime soon, the process is in motion. I'm sure I will need it. I feel very physically and emotionally tired.

I appreciate everyone who has left kind comments on previous journals. I read them every night and they did bring me comfort. <3

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Regarding work, we will be back at it on Monday (tomorrow). I'm going to be putting focus on finalizing projects on Monday and Thursday, and likely streaming on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.