Dr. Google says
"In Japan, repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) is covered by public health insurance for the acute treatment of treatment-resistant depression (TRD), with guidelines established by the Japanese Society of Psychiatry and Neurology. However, insurance does not cover continuous or maintenance treatment for this condition. Real-world studies show rTMS is effective and well-tolerated for Japanese patients with TRD, with good response and remission rates, though some side effects like headache can occur.
Coverage and regulation
Insurance coverage: Japanese public health insurance began covering rTMS for TRD in June 2019.
Treatment limitations: Coverage is for the acute phase only; continuous or maintenance treatment is not covered by the National Health Insurance (NHI) system.
Guidelines: Treatment must adhere to the guidelines for appropriate use published by the Japanese Society of Psychiatry and Neurology (JSPN).
Approval: The first rTMS device was approved by the MHLW in 2017.
Efficacy and safety
Effectiveness: A multisite study found that rTMS therapy showed a response rate of 53.5% and a remission rate of 42.8% in Japanese patients with TRD.
Tolerability: The treatment is generally well-tolerated, with a low dropout rate due to side effects.
Side effects: Common side effects can include headache and discomfort, which usually improve over time. The most serious risk is seizures, which is rare (less than 0.1%).
Clinical practice and research
Clinical trials: Research is ongoing, including a study on the use of rTMS for Alzheimer's dementia.
Geographic concentration: rTMS facilities are mostly concentrated in major metropolitan areas like the Tokyo and Kansai regions."

So that's another option.

I spent about $4,000 on it last year and it didn't work. It's not covered by insurance. I hope accurate information is being shared.

I hope the ketamine works for you then. Stay strong.

I hope it works out for you man! I've heard of this helping people and i'm super excited for you.

I know people who have had this treatment, and it really helped. Of course everyone responds differently, but I hope you get similar results as well <3

Ketamine to me sounds dangerous, maybe I am of the same opinion your doctor has, but it might come from inexperience/ignorance about the theme and the substance.
Trying it at least once/twice (wwhatever one round of treatment is) sounds like a good plan!

Hope it works for making your time in this world manageable, Kiki UuU)b For as long as you want.

I hope it works for you! I will help donate soon. I've tried ketamine before, and it did make me feel more at ease in general (psilocybin mushrooms also had a very similar and longer lasting feeling of having my anxieties and dark thoughts lifted, and their effect lasted longer and was more profound than the ketamine, but it's often even harder to find therapy with these)

I am wishing you the best of luck on your ketamine treatment. You're loved. <3

I am wishing you the best of luck moving forward so that you may find footing again. Know that you are appreciated and loved, Kiki.

I've known several people who have done ketamine therapy with great success. I hope it's something you find relief from!

I enjoy seeing your work and creations, and hope you can be suffering less.

Ketamine saved my life. I tried electroconvulsive therapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation, and lots of meds for many years. Ketamine combined with a good trauma therapist put me into position to be able to live again after years of crippling mental illness. I really hope you find the same great results I did!

I understand the feeling of wanting to try something—especially when you’re stuck in a place that feels heavy or hollow. It’s brave to be open about that. But I also feel it’s important to recognize that ketamine, though sometimes presented as a “modern remedy,” has deep connections to systems of pain and control — it’s a battlefield drug, used by military medics because it shuts down sensation quickly in situations of trauma and emergency. That’s a very different context from what a sensitive person might need when they’re searching for balance or renewal.

Ketamine can create a detached, almost disembodied state. Some describe it as relief; others find it frightening or dehumanizing, like being caught between the role of a wounded patient and the doctor trying to save them — which can mirror the very dynamics of suffering we’re trying to escape. That’s why, even if it can “work” in some cases, it may not be a natural or spiritually aligned way to heal low affect or disconnection.

There are gentler paths — including herbal and fungal allies like lion’s mane, reishi, and psilocybin in mindful microdoses — that nurture neuroplasticity and emotional renewal in more organic ways. Adaptogens like ashwagandha or rhodiola can support the body’s stress response. Beyond the physical, simple things like sunlight, movement, artistic ritual, and genuine community have their own medicine — the kind that doesn’t make you feel like a patient, but like a whole being returning to flow.

You don’t need to be pressured by doctors or donors to take a step that doesn’t feel right. You are allowed to seek healing that matches your spirit, not just your symptoms. Sometimes the truest medicine is the one that asks for patience, not anesthesia.

I feel that this is an important point for me, but I have no idea how I will be able to receive the medical care I need in Japan.

「まずは村方の娘の巫女に心を見てもらうことを勧めます。その上で、必要であれば現代医療の手段も考えるとよいでしょう。」

I don’t understand what you said.

Start by seeking spiritual insight from the village shaman/miko to understand your inner state. Then, if it seems necessary, also consider modern medical options.

My best wishes on your journey. I hope you find a path forward, whichever way it may be.