The problem with slowing down
a day ago
General
It's almost christmas dontcha know, and it feels really surreal that it's this week. This is just a bit of a ramble but there is info about Shine in the last paragraph if you wanna jump to that.
I don't want to go into too much detail as I dont wanna bring anyone down by trauma dumping but the last week or so but I basically burnt myself out and accidentally finally kicked off all the grieving I had been putting off from not really addressing my fathers death back in March last year. It's long over due and a bit messy as I thought Id managed to keep a lid on all of that but apparantly not and I guess with my course finally finishing and the diploma finally in my hand my brain has then gone..."right no excuse not to dedicate some of your free time to this big thing you've been ignoring"
Damn you brain.
I mean you're right but doesnt mean its not bloody inconvenient. And I dont want my grief to infect anyones festive cheer so I'm hoping it kinda goes back in the box for a few days. So Ive been a bit low the last week and trying to draw a bunch of art before im AFK for a few days for xmas...
And then there have been some lovely people contacting me saying "Hey star/gem I hope you're taking some time off, give yourself a holiday etc" and just people being considerate in that way really made me feel quite loved and looked after, but I still am drawin pretty much up until I go (which is xmas eve) trying to set stuff up so theres not a huge break in service but folk are right there should be holiday time factored into my life. I'm gonna try and do more of that next year rather than just being glued to my computer drawing.
This is a long winded way of saying
Shine will be updated on Wednesday this week rather than Friday as I wont be able to do that on friday. I cant transport my laptop to my inlaws as I cant close the lid of my laptop anymore (It is so broke I really do need a new one but I cant afford that right now) So I will update Shine on wednesday instead and then normal service will resume next week
I don't want to go into too much detail as I dont wanna bring anyone down by trauma dumping but the last week or so but I basically burnt myself out and accidentally finally kicked off all the grieving I had been putting off from not really addressing my fathers death back in March last year. It's long over due and a bit messy as I thought Id managed to keep a lid on all of that but apparantly not and I guess with my course finally finishing and the diploma finally in my hand my brain has then gone..."right no excuse not to dedicate some of your free time to this big thing you've been ignoring"
Damn you brain.
I mean you're right but doesnt mean its not bloody inconvenient. And I dont want my grief to infect anyones festive cheer so I'm hoping it kinda goes back in the box for a few days. So Ive been a bit low the last week and trying to draw a bunch of art before im AFK for a few days for xmas...
And then there have been some lovely people contacting me saying "Hey star/gem I hope you're taking some time off, give yourself a holiday etc" and just people being considerate in that way really made me feel quite loved and looked after, but I still am drawin pretty much up until I go (which is xmas eve) trying to set stuff up so theres not a huge break in service but folk are right there should be holiday time factored into my life. I'm gonna try and do more of that next year rather than just being glued to my computer drawing.
This is a long winded way of saying
Shine will be updated on Wednesday this week rather than Friday as I wont be able to do that on friday. I cant transport my laptop to my inlaws as I cant close the lid of my laptop anymore (It is so broke I really do need a new one but I cant afford that right now) So I will update Shine on wednesday instead and then normal service will resume next week
FA+

but then again as I just mentioned: it's no real comparison.
I do hope you'll get over it somehow. Life doesn't stop here - and don't rush yourself into "normality" either.
I really do hope you and Paul have a great Crimbo. Not too stressy, but plenty of fun and joy!
🎄🐨
i hope your holiday turns out as best it can. a toast to those whom are no longer with us 🍻
As for delayed grieving, I'm big enough to say I have issues around that at times, lots of stuff at the time you need to, so you park your emotions, internal family politics messing things up and that so I understand how it comes over you and we still struggle with it.
Anyway duck, switch off and have the best Christmas period you can and I'm sure we'll all wish all the best.
Lots of love, your friend, Jo.