Yes, I have that. Hard to believe...? Probably not. For those who don't know exactly what it is, it isn't necessarily the "I'm better than you" complex. That's extreme cases. In a case like mine, it's more like a "there's no reason why I can't be better than you" complex. Examples would be when I'm watching Tojo stream her art, I get agitated because I feel that there's no excuse for me not having the same level of skill if not more. Seeing someone who's good at Martial Arts, someone who's polylingual, someone who can play guitar hero better than me, someone with better gear in WoW, or someone who is more popular than me all cause the same feeling. It's not really jealousy so much as feeling I failed somewhere. The thing I keep trying to remind myself is that nobody is incredibly skilled at everything, and everybody is good at something. It's likely that I am a better writer than most great artists, that I know more biology than a black-belt, and that I am more masterful with the English language than someone who speaks eight languages.

Unfortunately, no amount of rationalization rids me of these feelings. Instead, it motivates me to try to get my skills to higher levels. This is why I have 10,000 hobbies and I'm not particularly good at any of them. Therefore, I've decided to narrow it down to just 3 goals so I'm not trying to be the best at everything. First, I want to get better at art. I won't say something like "I want to surpass Narse as an artist," that would just be stupid and unrealistic. I just want to be the best I can at it, and if I become better in the process, awesome. Second goal is to get to Expert level on Guitar Hero...just because I want to and I find it fun. Third is to learn Japanese. I blew a ton of money on the Rosetta Stone learning program disks and I've used them once since I got them. Everything else is being deleted from my mind. If I become completely fluent in Japanese, can draw great pictures, and can beat Lou on Expert, I'll make new goals to go for.

The result of this will be that I'm going to quit WoW, since it's leeching my soul away. I'm also going to give my electric guitar to my ex as a b-day present. His is broken and he'll actually use it. I'm going to stop trying to scour the area for good Martial Arts schools, and I'm going to stop upsetting myself whenever I see someone on FA with more watches than me. If my art skills get good enough, I'll get more watches anyways =P.

Anywho, that's my plan to fight my little psychological problem. If anyone had the patience to break through the text wall and has any other suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them.