What's your definition of a lesbian? And I mean you personally.

I ask because I've noticed that there seems to be a variety of opinions as to what makes someone gay exactly, but I've never actually had the chance to study the opinions comprehensively. While file surfing on my harddrive, I found one of my old rp characters' biographies in my documents folder. Under sexual orientation, I had labelled her Asexual, and she was. She was a very moody, bitchy person who really wanted nothing to do with anyone, the epitome of anti-social. x3 However, stuff happened, as it often does during roleplays, and after a month of playing her and a few threads, she ended up in something of a relationship with another girl. So, the admin of the site made me change her sexual orientation to "gay/lesbian"... but I didn't want to. I did anyway so I wouldn't get banned. x3 But mentally, I remember being put off a little bit.

So, in that situation, was my character a lesbian? I've always thought that she's not. "Lesbian" implies that one woman is sexually/physically attracted to other women. But Darko, my character, was not attracted to anyone or anything. She was a total beast in terms of personality and physical appearance (she was part of an elemental roleplay where one of the elements was called "beast" and essentially allowed your character to do things with certain animals, in Darko's case she could turn into a lioness, but at the start of the roleplay every character's skill in their element is very low so Darko was very terrible at controlling her beastial instincts and what not... typical werecritter concept here x3). She hated everyone and never even had sex with her so called girlfriend. I'm sure she would've if the opportunity had arisen, but only for her girl's sake. Poor thing was a hopeless romantic and longed to be close to Darko, so I bet my lioness, after much poking and prodding, would've sucked it up for the girl's sake.

But still. The point is... is she a lesbian for being romantically involved with someone of the same sex? Or is it completely dependent on physical attraction?

By the same extension, suppose someone is bi-sexual, and happens to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex. Does that make the person gay? And if so, does that mean they cease to be gay when the relationship ends?

I've always thought 'no' was the answer to this, but I'm curious about what other people think, as everyone on the roleplay seemed to disagree with me.