FA+
Shop
I lied
14 years ago
Well I thought it was back to the grind...
But I woke up Monday morning and could not stop crying for the entire day. Every thought, every move, every moment that ticked by on the clock toward my first class of the semester ate away at my resolve like a school of hungry piranhas until I was literally on my knees in my hallway wailing and shaking.
Had my dad come get me, I just... had to. I had to get out of there, out of that place, out of that city. Away... and I don't know why. I thought I was excited about starting my second to last semester, but I guess I was wrong. It surprised me as much as it surprised everyone else.
So I'm going to head down to Philly on Thursday to withdraw and take this semester off.
I've never had a panic attack/freak out before the quarter has even begun. Normally, it's during finals week when this happens, when stress and stuff has obviously piled up. But I literally had not even gotten started and I was beside myself with grief. In hind sight, I'd been dreading it for awhile. While I was in Chicago with my boobins, her dad asked me when I had to go back to school, and when I realized it was the following weekend, I deflated a little. I didn't want to go back, even weeks in advanced, I didn't want to go back.
Even Jaeger seemed to sense it. All of Sunday, he was sluggish, unresponsive and depressed. Normally, he's all hyper and excited, but that day he didn't even whine much in the car. Just sat there quietly and eventually went to sleep, which is weird for him. I tried to take him out for his walk Sunday night and he didn't even want to go. He freaking loves his walks, and he flat out refused to come to me when I called him, like it wasn't worth it... wasn't worth getting off the couch.... I bet he knew what I was feeling, even before I did. He's a sensitive dog and I love him dearly for it.
I'll have to pay more attention to him next time so I'm not stuck in a blubbering heap on the floor.
Well anyway, bitching aside, I'm skipping this semester at school. Gonna try and take the time to sort out... whatever has been going on inside my head. Apparently, you cannot solve personal problems and go to school at the same time. Wish someone had told my parents that...
But I woke up Monday morning and could not stop crying for the entire day. Every thought, every move, every moment that ticked by on the clock toward my first class of the semester ate away at my resolve like a school of hungry piranhas until I was literally on my knees in my hallway wailing and shaking.
Had my dad come get me, I just... had to. I had to get out of there, out of that place, out of that city. Away... and I don't know why. I thought I was excited about starting my second to last semester, but I guess I was wrong. It surprised me as much as it surprised everyone else.
So I'm going to head down to Philly on Thursday to withdraw and take this semester off.
I've never had a panic attack/freak out before the quarter has even begun. Normally, it's during finals week when this happens, when stress and stuff has obviously piled up. But I literally had not even gotten started and I was beside myself with grief. In hind sight, I'd been dreading it for awhile. While I was in Chicago with my boobins, her dad asked me when I had to go back to school, and when I realized it was the following weekend, I deflated a little. I didn't want to go back, even weeks in advanced, I didn't want to go back.
Even Jaeger seemed to sense it. All of Sunday, he was sluggish, unresponsive and depressed. Normally, he's all hyper and excited, but that day he didn't even whine much in the car. Just sat there quietly and eventually went to sleep, which is weird for him. I tried to take him out for his walk Sunday night and he didn't even want to go. He freaking loves his walks, and he flat out refused to come to me when I called him, like it wasn't worth it... wasn't worth getting off the couch.... I bet he knew what I was feeling, even before I did. He's a sensitive dog and I love him dearly for it.
I'll have to pay more attention to him next time so I'm not stuck in a blubbering heap on the floor.
Well anyway, bitching aside, I'm skipping this semester at school. Gonna try and take the time to sort out... whatever has been going on inside my head. Apparently, you cannot solve personal problems and go to school at the same time. Wish someone had told my parents that...
Not a bad idea to take a break every now and again, though. A few months away from it all can be a massive help.
Im glad your taking a break though, i cant help mine but i wish u luck.
Relax a while, Avy. Okay, hun? Don't worry about school or finances. Just kick back, relax, and take care of yourself. It'll get better. I promise. Just hang in there.
I'm kinda prone to panic attacks and the whatnot, so I and I'm sure a lot of others feel your pain. All I can really say is, hang in there.
I have no idea what the stresses and pressures of college are like, but I imagine it's a lot. Take all the time you need to recover, and until you feel ready, take it easy.
Then, it'll be time for the professional stresses. |: But at least you're gettin' paid for those.
Wish ya the best.