I think every sentient being in the universe has an inherent curiosity to understand how the world around them is working. Why do some things happen and others not, trying to judge what other people around us do or don't do almost permanently.
Given enough interest and time to do research on a matter and get as much resources of information possible may lead you on a path that makes everything you belived in or everything you worked for so far obsolete. Talking a bit in a roleplayer's perception it's kind of like you dig too greedily for knowledge and suddenly find what you are seeking for and are now facing a "Balrog of reality" that hits you like brick. It's impossible to ignore certain kinds of knowledge and you can never return back to when you just didn't know and not even had the chance to be aware.

The last years have been quite turbulent for me rl-wise, my life-situation changed drastically in a very short period of time and always into a stronger and more independent direction then before. With those changes I had time to spend on my hands while I was able to maintain myself with not even putting 50% of my time into my profession and earning the monies I need to keep up my insurance, house and the dept-payments. It's possible, but you have to be a bit lucky and actively search for a "niche". I'm well aware that most of the people though are not as lucky.

I cannot tell you why, but I was never pleased with just me being happy. Not at all, in opposit: myself being happy and all others around me being in deep misery had and still has a strong effect on my own wellbeing. One reason I practically withdraw from many things and not letting others close in on me anymore except with a handful of others aside my family I still am in contact.
Contrary to the zeitgeist of our time I do care. A lot. And this makes me more vulnerable then my sanity can stand sometimes.

Talking of santiy ... I belive that every being on this globe with a glint of sanity left is aware that something is deeply wrong. I'm not talking about some dead branches in an old oaktree here, I'm talking about the very roots of the system are rotting so badly the stink rises to the sky itself.
It's just hard to put your finger on it, for it's not in the open and not jumping at us directly. What we are facing every day and struggling with in all of our personal live-situations are the symptoms, not the root of this "wrong". But the usual case is that we all are so busy with those sympthoms or so nicely distracted from the real problem you need quite some time determination and curiosity to bring it into the light of your personal awareness - resources most of us simply don't have.
Additionally instead of some "enlightment" that may make things more easy this search brings pure shock that a system like this could even establish at all: a system so humilating and insulting towards every imaginable (human)birthright we can think of.

So, to return to the title of this journal entry I'd like to ask you of something: please take some hours of your lifetime and have a look at this page

http://www.filmsforaction.org/Artic.....all_St_Exists/

.. and tell me what _you_ think after watching some or maybe all of those movies there. Do you sympathize? Do you have critic? Share and talk about it, because it's important. Really important.