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Personality versus looks: what do you look at?
12 years ago
Well...I usually don't write journals this regularly but thanks to one of my lovely watchers I was once again reminded how shallow and superficial people are, males and females. But before I begin, let me explain what prompted this journal....
As most people who know me- I rarely post my picture online; even on my facebook, dating sites, my profile, whatever the case. Why? Besides all the pervs and weirdos online? I'm sick of being judged for how I look rather than by...gee, I don't know, my personality. Not to mention due to where I work, I don't think it would behoove me to tell the world I'm a furry; I need some anonymity online. Now, remember how your parents used to say "it's what's on the inside that counts...?" Nowadays, I really wonder if that's the case. Now here's the story-
A person I've been speaking with was telling me how physical looks are just as important, if not more (and others I'm sure) than personality and told me this little story, "...physical acceptance/enjoyment is vital in my case. ^_^ Such things CAN be improved on in many cases, however! So yeah, can't immediately rule someone out. A good friend of mine he had someone interested in him at the local furmeet that was overweight but interested in him and eventually she started losing weight and he began to notice her more. And they're getting along very well now..."
Let's back up right there.
So let me get this straight- it took the girl losing weight to be noticed? *facepalms so damn hard* I'm sorry but...no, just no on so many levels. It would be one thing if she lost weight because SHE wanted to. Or hell, maybe he was interested in her beforehand but encouraged her to lose weight while they were seeing each other? I can even accept that. But look at how that's worded...and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong
"...eventually she started losing weight and he began to notice her more."
-by the sounds of it- the only reason he gave her a chance was because she lost weight, I see no indication that he tried to befriend her and see where it would go or even go out with her just to see what type of person she was. No, he was only interested in her when she was an ideal weight by his standards *sniffs around* Smell that? I smell a superficial prick that needs his ass handed to him.
That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! Guys and yes, even women are guilty of doing this: judging someone purely on looks rather than personality. So of course I had to throw in my two cents: (edited because I might have swore a bit too much and I've calmed down now):
"...Do you know how many people, male or female that happens to? They love a person's personality, have stuff in common in them but they won't date them due to looks. Or let's use high school as an example because of how cliquish and vain people are...where there's this one girl or guy that's unnoticed or picked on. They leave for the summer and come back in the fall and no one recognizes them because they've buffed up, lost weight, have a makeover, etc. Suddenly people that used to ignore them want to be his or her friend, date them..."
Now can anyone relate to that or were you on either side of that spectrum? I hate people like that. And if you fall into that category, no offense but this is just -my- opinion; feel free to stop reading if it bothers you so much. But in my opinion? Everyone deserves a fair chance to be happy and in a relationship regardless of their looks- and the fact that it took said girl losing weight to be noticed? *shakes head* just shows how people really are. Now if she lost weight because -she- wanted to? great. But in the above situation? Just...I don't know. I almost feel sorry for her. Think about it- they're getting along fine now but what if she gains back her weight again? will he leave her or cheat on her? And most importantly- did she lose weight because she wanted to...or to impress a guy? I guess my point to this little ramble is that though looks are important in a relationship, does it really have to be solely what the relationship is based on? It just ticks me off to no end that society has become so superficial and relies on looks to get anywhere in the world. Even in the workforce, I've heard stories of men and women being hired based on age and how they look rather than skill and knowledge (...).
Ironically, I think the person that told me the above story was trying to "cheer me up" or offer me hope that even I can find a guy if I try hard enough. Yeah...I'm gonna bite my tongue now as the journals is long enough without me making it longer and I refuse to put anyone's name in it; that's just rude.
So tell me, those few brave souls that read this all the way through- what do you look for in a relationship- and be honest, I promise I won't snap at you (too much, lol). Would you rather a mate with looks...or a good personality and why?
tl;dr- what do you value in relationships: looks and personality and why?
As most people who know me- I rarely post my picture online; even on my facebook, dating sites, my profile, whatever the case. Why? Besides all the pervs and weirdos online? I'm sick of being judged for how I look rather than by...gee, I don't know, my personality. Not to mention due to where I work, I don't think it would behoove me to tell the world I'm a furry; I need some anonymity online. Now, remember how your parents used to say "it's what's on the inside that counts...?" Nowadays, I really wonder if that's the case. Now here's the story-
A person I've been speaking with was telling me how physical looks are just as important, if not more (and others I'm sure) than personality and told me this little story, "...physical acceptance/enjoyment is vital in my case. ^_^ Such things CAN be improved on in many cases, however! So yeah, can't immediately rule someone out. A good friend of mine he had someone interested in him at the local furmeet that was overweight but interested in him and eventually she started losing weight and he began to notice her more. And they're getting along very well now..."
Let's back up right there.
So let me get this straight- it took the girl losing weight to be noticed? *facepalms so damn hard* I'm sorry but...no, just no on so many levels. It would be one thing if she lost weight because SHE wanted to. Or hell, maybe he was interested in her beforehand but encouraged her to lose weight while they were seeing each other? I can even accept that. But look at how that's worded...and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong
"...eventually she started losing weight and he began to notice her more."
-by the sounds of it- the only reason he gave her a chance was because she lost weight, I see no indication that he tried to befriend her and see where it would go or even go out with her just to see what type of person she was. No, he was only interested in her when she was an ideal weight by his standards *sniffs around* Smell that? I smell a superficial prick that needs his ass handed to him.
That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! Guys and yes, even women are guilty of doing this: judging someone purely on looks rather than personality. So of course I had to throw in my two cents: (edited because I might have swore a bit too much and I've calmed down now):
"...Do you know how many people, male or female that happens to? They love a person's personality, have stuff in common in them but they won't date them due to looks. Or let's use high school as an example because of how cliquish and vain people are...where there's this one girl or guy that's unnoticed or picked on. They leave for the summer and come back in the fall and no one recognizes them because they've buffed up, lost weight, have a makeover, etc. Suddenly people that used to ignore them want to be his or her friend, date them..."
Now can anyone relate to that or were you on either side of that spectrum? I hate people like that. And if you fall into that category, no offense but this is just -my- opinion; feel free to stop reading if it bothers you so much. But in my opinion? Everyone deserves a fair chance to be happy and in a relationship regardless of their looks- and the fact that it took said girl losing weight to be noticed? *shakes head* just shows how people really are. Now if she lost weight because -she- wanted to? great. But in the above situation? Just...I don't know. I almost feel sorry for her. Think about it- they're getting along fine now but what if she gains back her weight again? will he leave her or cheat on her? And most importantly- did she lose weight because she wanted to...or to impress a guy? I guess my point to this little ramble is that though looks are important in a relationship, does it really have to be solely what the relationship is based on? It just ticks me off to no end that society has become so superficial and relies on looks to get anywhere in the world. Even in the workforce, I've heard stories of men and women being hired based on age and how they look rather than skill and knowledge (...).
Ironically, I think the person that told me the above story was trying to "cheer me up" or offer me hope that even I can find a guy if I try hard enough. Yeah...I'm gonna bite my tongue now as the journals is long enough without me making it longer and I refuse to put anyone's name in it; that's just rude.
So tell me, those few brave souls that read this all the way through- what do you look for in a relationship- and be honest, I promise I won't snap at you (too much, lol). Would you rather a mate with looks...or a good personality and why?
tl;dr- what do you value in relationships: looks and personality and why?
Thats just a guy thing I guess.
My mate would say just what a chick would XD
I've never seen a guy say that about thin women, and then there's the fact that a significant portion of women refuse to date guys younger than they are; whereas most guys tend to not really give a crap - but find it much easier to date younger due to sheer availability. So yeah, I definitely think women are more picky than guys are, but as a people, I suppose we're just idealistic, ignorant and/or shallow in general.
--
Personally, i've come to realize that I value 'physical capability' over 'appearance'. The latter is solely concerned with aesthetics, the former is me not wanting someone who physically holds me back from the things/moments I want to experience (and share) in life. Personality is probably the biggest factor, but if I choose not to date an obese person, it's because they can't go rock climbing with me, or can't shimmy along ropes/hold on to a flying fox, can't scale/jump over a simple 8ft fence, and are otherwise incapable of carrying/supporting their own weight. (If they're able to do these things, then their weight won't be a problem in my eyes).
I don't care if that makes me an asshole, but physical incapability is simply a massive turn-off for me, while someone in-shape and capable of kicking my but is a real turn-on. I want a physically-capable partner, in much the same way that a lot of women "want a man, and not a guy looking for a second mother." So Personality & Physical capability - which may still lead one to discriminate against obesity to some extent...
tl;dr - I don't care how much a person weighs...
http://static.sportskeeda.com/wp-co.....999145-1-0.jpg
...but if you can't hold this position on parallel bars for more than 5 seconds, then gtfo! (lmao!)XD