FA+
Shop
I am so done with 2020...
5 years ago
General
Just a bit of a long rant.
I have been through TWO hurricanes within the past two months- yes, I am fine. Apparently mother nature has something against my state because we really are suffering this year, haha. We have never had this many hurricanes back to back before, or of this severity.
In addition, I have done tasks at my job that are outside my scope, comfort level, and possible safety, yet somehow managed not to catch coronavirus (yet)- all while watching some of my other coworkers around me get it. I am talking about people in full PPE, yet still managed to get sick! Scary stuff...
Not to mention, dealing with a changeover in management in my department, along with my new boss pushing new, more challenging work on me that forces me, an introvert, to be extroverted-
...yeah, I REALLY don't like that.
And yes, my manager knows my disdain as I made it quite clear to her. Ironically, I am so good at it, the managers and bigwigs at my job are noticing me more (in a good way) and seem impressed with my work. Does not mean I like it, but I am all for job security, so I will play the office politics game...until something better comes along.
And good grief, my disdain and tolerance towards people is...so low.
There are days I come straight home and go to bed because I'm so exhausted from dealing with people all day. Anyone that is an introvert and is forced to talk to people for long periods of time probably knows what I mean. As terrible as this may sound, I can go days without talking to anyone and I am happy.
Now imagine having coworkers that talk to you ALL DAY. Yet you can't do anything about it because workplace violence is grounds for instant termination, so you have to just tolerate them...ugh. The struggle is real.
Also, I have been fighting against my weight all year-
...okay, so that's nothing new.
But, I am finally starting to see results! People have been complimenting me on my figure saying I look smaller than I am, I look like I have lost more weight (I have not), or how big my scrubs look on me, yet my weight has pretty much plateaued. Normally I would complain about said plateau, but it is in a good range, so I am content for now. I am now focusing more on cardio and HIIT than weight training, along with fasting (16:8, sometimes 20:4).
-Total weight loss since I started: 70 pounds
-How much more I have left to go: 10-15 pounds.
Nonetheless, I am at the point of my life where I am just happy to be alive, healthy, have a job, and not have had anything too bad happen to me so far this year. Strong emphasis on "so far" since we still have get through two more months of Jumanji!
So overall, I'm mentally and emotionally tired. My disdain and cynicism towards people is ridiculously high, and this year has been crappy.
But I'm still standing.
Oddly enough, even with all the nonsense in my life, I'm not depressed, or ready to give up. Because I know things could be SO much worse! That and reflecting over it all, my life is not that terrible- irksome, but not terrible.
With that rant out of the way...hi. How is everyone doing? Seriously, I hope everyone is okay and safe.
Even though I am an introverted, cynical meanass, I do enjoy checking in on my friends on here, fav'ing art, or just poking around on here in between work as a distraction from the stressors in my life.
Whisper is on a short art hiatus while her winter coat comes in, but I will be posting some art of her later this month. I must say I have some art of her I am very excited to post and see; I hope y'all will enjoy it as well.
Now to make it to the end of the year~
I have been through TWO hurricanes within the past two months- yes, I am fine. Apparently mother nature has something against my state because we really are suffering this year, haha. We have never had this many hurricanes back to back before, or of this severity.
In addition, I have done tasks at my job that are outside my scope, comfort level, and possible safety, yet somehow managed not to catch coronavirus (yet)- all while watching some of my other coworkers around me get it. I am talking about people in full PPE, yet still managed to get sick! Scary stuff...
Not to mention, dealing with a changeover in management in my department, along with my new boss pushing new, more challenging work on me that forces me, an introvert, to be extroverted-
...yeah, I REALLY don't like that.
And yes, my manager knows my disdain as I made it quite clear to her. Ironically, I am so good at it, the managers and bigwigs at my job are noticing me more (in a good way) and seem impressed with my work. Does not mean I like it, but I am all for job security, so I will play the office politics game...until something better comes along.
And good grief, my disdain and tolerance towards people is...so low.
There are days I come straight home and go to bed because I'm so exhausted from dealing with people all day. Anyone that is an introvert and is forced to talk to people for long periods of time probably knows what I mean. As terrible as this may sound, I can go days without talking to anyone and I am happy.
Now imagine having coworkers that talk to you ALL DAY. Yet you can't do anything about it because workplace violence is grounds for instant termination, so you have to just tolerate them...ugh. The struggle is real.
Also, I have been fighting against my weight all year-
...okay, so that's nothing new.
But, I am finally starting to see results! People have been complimenting me on my figure saying I look smaller than I am, I look like I have lost more weight (I have not), or how big my scrubs look on me, yet my weight has pretty much plateaued. Normally I would complain about said plateau, but it is in a good range, so I am content for now. I am now focusing more on cardio and HIIT than weight training, along with fasting (16:8, sometimes 20:4).
-Total weight loss since I started: 70 pounds
-How much more I have left to go: 10-15 pounds.
Nonetheless, I am at the point of my life where I am just happy to be alive, healthy, have a job, and not have had anything too bad happen to me so far this year. Strong emphasis on "so far" since we still have get through two more months of Jumanji!
So overall, I'm mentally and emotionally tired. My disdain and cynicism towards people is ridiculously high, and this year has been crappy.
But I'm still standing.
Oddly enough, even with all the nonsense in my life, I'm not depressed, or ready to give up. Because I know things could be SO much worse! That and reflecting over it all, my life is not that terrible- irksome, but not terrible.
With that rant out of the way...hi. How is everyone doing? Seriously, I hope everyone is okay and safe.
Even though I am an introverted, cynical meanass, I do enjoy checking in on my friends on here, fav'ing art, or just poking around on here in between work as a distraction from the stressors in my life.
Whisper is on a short art hiatus while her winter coat comes in, but I will be posting some art of her later this month. I must say I have some art of her I am very excited to post and see; I hope y'all will enjoy it as well.
Now to make it to the end of the year~
And yes, the job market is terrible right now- I hope you eventually find a job that feels right to you.
I am hoping 2021 is better than this year; I think we all deserve a fresh start and some happiness after the year we have been through.
*hugs back*
I read your journal, sounds like you're having a "fun" year as well |=|
Corona is also very scary, just have to keep being careful and hope we can avoid it until there is a good vaccine. :s
As an introvert I get it... most of the time I hate forced interactions with people by others :/ Not sure how to deal with that at your job, maybe try to be less efficient, but it might be to late for that if they have noticed how well you are doing. :o
If they are noticing you look smaller, but you still weight the same, you probably got muscles from your weight training, which is why you might not have lost more weight as muscles also weight quite a bit. Cardio should be better for that if you don't want muscles. Though great progress on your weight loss so far! ^w^
It's clear how all that can exhaust you :s But it's good you are still standing strong! :D Hope it only gets better for you and everyone asap :)
And I'm doing alright, could be much worse, but also much better xD the usual I guess...
If you ever need someone to talk to, my notes are always open to anyone :)
Ah, I see you're in Europe so you don't get hurricanes: you're very lucky. Typically, we only get them once a year, if that; however, this year has been...unorthodox to say the least, haha. Thankfully my home wasn't damaged either time, and this time I was lucky enough not to lose electricity! Last time I lost power for almost two days! Not fun, particularly in the middle of the summer when we have heat and humidity :|
Ah, you're an INFP? So you definitely understand what I mean.
At work I -try- to be an ambivert, as my job does require me interacting with multiple people all day: everyone from patients, to higher ups and physicians. But even then I used to have my "quiet time" to just sit in my office and work alone. Not the case anymore.
Unfortunately, I am the type of person that, even if I hate my job, I'm going to do my job and do it well! It's both a good and bad thing really.
"f they are noticing you look smaller, but you still weight the same, you probably got muscles from your weight training, which is why you might not have lost more weight as muscles also weight quite a bit." Haha, that has been a major issue of mine since I started my weight loss journey: I gain muscle quite easily, which I know most people would consider a good thing? NO. Not when you want the number on the scale to go down it's not. So I have been trying to balance losing fat while keeping a lean, toned figure as well.
I still do weight training a few days a week, but cardio seems to be more effective for my goal at the moment!
Once I hit my target weight, then I will probably go back to mostly weight training...because as much I love running, kickboxing, jump rope, and other forms of cardio, lifting heavy weights just gives me such a rush, haha.
Sorry, I tend to geek out over fitness as you can probably tell :) I take it you exercise as well?
Anyway, it is so nice to hear from you! I love chatting with my watchers outside of just art and furry related stuff~
Losing power definitely sucks (especially in the middle of summer when you can't reduce the heat :s ), occasionally happens to storms and strong winds over here that I we lose power, but mostly for a few hours, it can be a day or 2 very rarely as well. We still get somewhat of a hurricanes in Europe, but nothing compared to yours. And thankfully you got no damage indeed ^-^
Being good and efficient does have it's positives, as well as negatives (especially as introvert) :s But it certainly shows how hardworking and honest someone is :) Hope your manager will try to understand you, and you get more quiet time again soon!
No worries about geeking out at me ^w^ Unfortunately I don't exercise, at least not as much as I would like to as I lack motivation to properly do it, I'm not overweight, and it's not my favorite thing :s I just have some knowledge about exercising thanks to some anime and random things I hear around :o Would be nice to be a bit stronger though, like to be able to carry someone for a bit, but I have no desire to have a six pack and such >_< To me highly noticeable muscles are a bit uncomfortable to look at :s But that's just me, many love them and I can understand why :P
Reading you write about your exercising definitely sounds like you do enjoy it a lot :D Especially that weight lifting gives you such a rush ;p
Well I'm always up for a chat about whatever :)
Being forced to interact certainly sucks, I hope you get to recharge enough.
70lbs off is about as much as I lost years back, after gaining a bit more from bad eating habits lol. But I need to lose more, since some of that big loss has reverted over time... I used to be a skeleton, now the body doesn't want to return to that state lol.
Things are stable over here, there have been some major setbacks but I'm slowly overcoming them. Conflict of interest sucks a lot, don't have job that overlaps with your hobbies, especially when the hobby is required for the mental well being...
Ugh, honestly the only time I really "recharge" is after work and on the weekends. You know it is bad when you have to explain to your boss the difference between extroverts and introverts so she can know how I function without offending her.
Yeah I remember you telling me how you lost all that weight! I remember because I was totally jealous, lol. As a friendly warning, the older you get, the harder it is to lose weight as your metabolism slows down...even if you're active. I have to remind myself of that all the time to keep from eating too much.
Ouch, sorry to hear things are not going well for you either. How is the job going, or are you still hunting for one that makes you happy?
Yeah you really need to find a way to balance your hobbies with your job, otherwise you will get burned out. I recall a guy that works in our IT department telling me years ago, he barely plays video games or spends time on the computer when he gets off work.
When I asked him why, he said, "Because it's no longer fun because I have to work on and fix computers all day, I don't want to see one when I get off work..." I felt that.
Yeah, the ones in power are never introverts and don't seem to understand the concept at all in many cases...
Yeah, that definitely is going on though I will be able to leverage in exercise effectively since I don't actually do it much at all lol. I plan to go to swimming on a regular basis but I need to get transport worked out first. My bicycle had both tyres go flat (they are broken) and roughly at the same time and I am suspecting sabotage... but I'll find out eventually...
I am still doing my thing, hobby turned job sort of thing. I'm making sound stuff for retro computers, or rather for one guy and have been for the past year. While at the same time my own projects are on hold and it is really eating me up. I don't do any of the fun things like that coworker of yours and pretty much for same reasons... I would mind a mindless assembly line job right now, but with my sleep condition and general lack of jobs it will not happen lol.
Ironically, my boss later realized that she is an introvert as well- I find that hard to believe but she assures me that she is. I told her she needs to take a personality test to confirm that. Anyway, she said she relates to my struggle, particularly talking in front of groups of people. But she gave me the whole, "You won't progress in life unless you go outside your comfort zone" speech...
Bicycle tires don't just go flat at the same time; I mean I suppose it's possible if you really wore them out with wear and tear, but that's still hard to believe. I suggest whenever you get your bike fixed to keep it locked up somewhere safe.
Ah I see- well it is a job, kudos to you! But I see the problem: now you don't have time to enjoy your own projects. I hate to say it, but you would be better off getting a boring factory/assembly job if you can fix your sleep condition and find a stable means to get to work. Yeah, assembly jobs are boring, but at least you would be able to enjoy your projects on your off days or after work as a means to relax.
They didn't go flat at the same time, but shortly apart... and they are only couple years old, originals lasted 11 and 12 before I had to replace them with the ones I currently have. The bike was in a safe place and I am known to have a bad neighbor but I'm not gonna do the blame game yet until I find damage that looks like someone inflicted it but first I must get all the firewood in the basement stacked so I have space to work on the bike...
The sleep condition is for life, without cure and the treatments available do not work for me. I have done such job but with the sleep getting in the way, my health goes to shit very quickly and it is absolutely not sustainable... it is sort of a really shitty situation.
I'm making it, or trying to. You okay over there?
What type of job are you interested in?
The only downside with that is, well it's seasonal, so it's not guaranteed to last long :|
But it would be a start, and something to put on your resume. I hope you find something soon~
No damage to my house- which I am SO thankfully for after having two hurricanes back to back. Some of my coworkers got flooded, their roofs are leaking, or they're still without power nearly 2-3 days after the hurricane hit.
Boy, we are both lucky not to have caught it yet! I'm shocked your job doesn't test y'all regularly for it (especially working in close quarters, you're definitely at high risk of catching it, even with masks and gloves).
And no, trust me, you don't want to get it- it's not fun. Now maybe you can get quarantined but not catch it. I know at my job, there were some people that tested positive for it: they didn't get full blown sick, but they supposedly had it...so they got to stay home for two weeks...WITH PAY! No, you just need a vacation from those idiots you work with.
"You ain't alone there, my tolerance for dealing with people has gotten REAL low as of late" Oh yeah, I've read your texts so I knew if no one else understood, you would! Like I'm not sure if it's just this year, or people are just annoying me more than usual. But I'm telling you Lane, I wish I could just go to work, do my job, not be bothered, go home, and relax. But you always have that ONE person, or annoying coworker that says or does the wrong thing and makes your day miserable. In my case, I work with a "Karen," so...yeah :|
LOL! I told you to get your own place but nooo...
That is exactly what I do when I get home from work: change out of my scrubs, wash up, eat, unwind, and if I'm lucky, go straight to bed. It's wonderful. Hopefully one day you'll get your own place; it really does make a big difference having some privacy and quiet time after a long day of work.
You've been going through ALOT given all you listed here... Major changes at your job... The fear that I'm sure still lingers in your work environment about the virus, your Neosporin head needing coworker with her swole up face... And of course these 4 hurricanes??
Earlier today, I found out one of my coworker's homes got destroyed by the hurricane: she lost everything....she came to work today wearing rain boots because her work shoes got messed up. Her department is secretly collecting money for her to help her out since she's barely making over minimum wage :|
Just...damn man. This year bites. 2020 needs to leave the good people alone.