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Worst Mistakes People Make in Their 20s...
11 years ago
As I was reading the news this morning, I saw an article on yahoo regarding mistakes we make in our 20s. And I nodded my head at 90 percent of it. Let’s face it, when we’re young and stupid (well, some people never grow up but let's not go there...) we deal with our fair share of issues, challenges, and assumptions about life, relationships, careers and other things that make us go crazy. The 20s are especially rough and can be unforgiving…can anyone say quarter life crisis?
With that being said, here’s a list of common mistakes that people tend to make in their 20s. Why I am sharing this? Because a good chunk of this community is in their 20s and I thought seeing some pearls of wisdom might behoove some of y’all. And honestly? Some of these mistakes go for EVERY age range in my opinion. This list is paraphrased, minus a few points I really wanted to emphasize (because I know how lazy some of y’all are) so if you want to read the entire article, go here
1. They think education and talent are enough to become successful
High intelligence, natural talent, and degrees from elite universities are all good things to have, but they in no way guarantee that you will land a great job — and mean nothing when not paired with hard work.
"How you work with others and carry yourself can also turn out to be much more important in advancing your career. "
2. They don't start saving money
3. They equate happiness with money
4. They neglect their health
As you get older, you'll learn pretty quickly you can't party like you did in college. 20-somethings also need to pay attention to their mental health, since any potential issues usually arise in your 20s.
5. They give up when things get tough *looks at several people in this community and shakes my head* I'd say something but I'm gonna censor myself due to how butthurt people tend to get nowadays...
Ending a serious relationship, getting fired from a job, and having your startup crash and burn can all seem life-destroying when they happen to you for the first time. But rather than giving up or aiming for a lower target the next time, you should use failures as opportunities to learn and improve yourself.
6. They put things off
7. They try to please everyone
When you're starting out in your career, it can seem natural to want to be on friendly terms with your boss, clients, and all of your coworkers. Rather than feeling crushed when you realize some of them simply don't like you, accept it and don't stress out.
"Inevitably, someone will always dislike you"
...and I'm going to say this again for emphasize because I don't think some people understand this concept. In life, no matter how nice, accommodating, or wonderful a person you think you are? Someone is NOT going to like you. Rather than try to figure out why that is, just accept it and reflect on the fact that there are people out there that DO like you.
8. They think all friendships can last forever
"Your college pals that you think will be your best pals for life? Some will still be there at 40, most will be living their lives doing their thing. When your friends aren't all living in the same town or campus, you'll realize which ones mean the most to you, and which ones are worth the effort of maintaining a relationship with.”
9. They look for their "soul mate" [yeah, I’m looking at you furry community and your insatiable need to find someone as quickly as possible because you can’t be alone and happy]
Some people decide to spend most of their 20s single, unattached to anyone. Others search for the right person to marry. The latter group can get caught up in the fantasy of finding someone where everything just clicks and the relationship is effortless.
But in real life, the most meaningful long-term relationships require work and dedication.
10. They think moving somewhere new will solve their problems
Do not think that moving to the opposite coast means you'll suddenly find meaning and direction.
11. They see things in black and white
Many people in their 20s get caught up in absolutes. For example, some feel like they have to choose between a career path that benefits them or one that benefits others, without realizing that self-interest does not have to mean the opposite of doing good for the world.
12. They try planning years in advance
13. They think they're the only one of their friends struggling
"...regardless of income, job, or living situation, every 20-something is still figuring things out as they go along."
Now there's a hell of a lot more I could add to this list: thinking the world revolves around you, getting married too young or quickly, having kids too young (or at all; I'm sorry but some people just should not have kids), being impatient and thinking things should happen when YOU want them to, or doing nothing at all with your life and wondering why life "isn't fair." But unfortunately the author didn't have me around when he wrote the article so I couldn't put my two cents in *chuckles* But in all seriousness, and this advice is for anyone in their 20s, 30s, teens, whatever the case may be. When life gets tough and seems unfair, take a sword and go melee on it until you feel better!
...oh, that doesn't work for everyone does it? Damn. Okay Plan B: suck it up and keep trying until you find what you want out of life, then work to attain it
On that note, I should get back to work! Gracias a dios es viernes... (Spanish: thank god it's friday!)
With that being said, here’s a list of common mistakes that people tend to make in their 20s. Why I am sharing this? Because a good chunk of this community is in their 20s and I thought seeing some pearls of wisdom might behoove some of y’all. And honestly? Some of these mistakes go for EVERY age range in my opinion. This list is paraphrased, minus a few points I really wanted to emphasize (because I know how lazy some of y’all are) so if you want to read the entire article, go here
1. They think education and talent are enough to become successful
High intelligence, natural talent, and degrees from elite universities are all good things to have, but they in no way guarantee that you will land a great job — and mean nothing when not paired with hard work.
"How you work with others and carry yourself can also turn out to be much more important in advancing your career. "
2. They don't start saving money
3. They equate happiness with money
4. They neglect their health
As you get older, you'll learn pretty quickly you can't party like you did in college. 20-somethings also need to pay attention to their mental health, since any potential issues usually arise in your 20s.
5. They give up when things get tough *looks at several people in this community and shakes my head* I'd say something but I'm gonna censor myself due to how butthurt people tend to get nowadays...
Ending a serious relationship, getting fired from a job, and having your startup crash and burn can all seem life-destroying when they happen to you for the first time. But rather than giving up or aiming for a lower target the next time, you should use failures as opportunities to learn and improve yourself.
6. They put things off
7. They try to please everyone
When you're starting out in your career, it can seem natural to want to be on friendly terms with your boss, clients, and all of your coworkers. Rather than feeling crushed when you realize some of them simply don't like you, accept it and don't stress out.
"Inevitably, someone will always dislike you"
...and I'm going to say this again for emphasize because I don't think some people understand this concept. In life, no matter how nice, accommodating, or wonderful a person you think you are? Someone is NOT going to like you. Rather than try to figure out why that is, just accept it and reflect on the fact that there are people out there that DO like you.
8. They think all friendships can last forever
"Your college pals that you think will be your best pals for life? Some will still be there at 40, most will be living their lives doing their thing. When your friends aren't all living in the same town or campus, you'll realize which ones mean the most to you, and which ones are worth the effort of maintaining a relationship with.”
9. They look for their "soul mate" [yeah, I’m looking at you furry community and your insatiable need to find someone as quickly as possible because you can’t be alone and happy]
Some people decide to spend most of their 20s single, unattached to anyone. Others search for the right person to marry. The latter group can get caught up in the fantasy of finding someone where everything just clicks and the relationship is effortless.
But in real life, the most meaningful long-term relationships require work and dedication.
10. They think moving somewhere new will solve their problems
Do not think that moving to the opposite coast means you'll suddenly find meaning and direction.
11. They see things in black and white
Many people in their 20s get caught up in absolutes. For example, some feel like they have to choose between a career path that benefits them or one that benefits others, without realizing that self-interest does not have to mean the opposite of doing good for the world.
12. They try planning years in advance
13. They think they're the only one of their friends struggling
"...regardless of income, job, or living situation, every 20-something is still figuring things out as they go along."
Now there's a hell of a lot more I could add to this list: thinking the world revolves around you, getting married too young or quickly, having kids too young (or at all; I'm sorry but some people just should not have kids), being impatient and thinking things should happen when YOU want them to, or doing nothing at all with your life and wondering why life "isn't fair." But unfortunately the author didn't have me around when he wrote the article so I couldn't put my two cents in *chuckles* But in all seriousness, and this advice is for anyone in their 20s, 30s, teens, whatever the case may be. When life gets tough and seems unfair, take a sword and go melee on it until you feel better!
...oh, that doesn't work for everyone does it? Damn. Okay Plan B: suck it up and keep trying until you find what you want out of life, then work to attain it
On that note, I should get back to work! Gracias a dios es viernes... (Spanish: thank god it's friday!)
Well it doesn't equal happiness, but it almost certainly brings it imo!
(Really depends on the person though I suppose, you see a lot of miserable rich people... They're doin' it wrong!). XD
6. They put things off
I think that's the biggest one for me.
That's debatable. I mean, yeah, when you have money you can buy anything you want but it doesn't necessarily make you happy. Then again, I'll admit since I got my promotion a few months back and have a little extra money coming in, I don't feel as frugal (well I'm still frugal but I don't wince as much when buying groceries, LOL) and not stressing over bills. Hence, I'm not as grumpy as I used to be. So I'm somewhat happier than I was...but not because I'm out buying commissions and random crap like a goob. But because I feel somewhat more secure in being able to provide for myself.
...and yeah, I won't lie. I'm almost 30 and I still put crap off out of laziness or just not wanting to do it, lol.
A lot of that "putting things off" for me is 100% due to parsimony, so money is good enabler and opens a lot of windows towards happiness that would've otherwise been inaccessible... (Maybe the super rich people access every single window and then run out of new experiences?)
Or maybe who cares? XD
...you sir, hit the nail on the head. That's more or less it. All those rich people and celebrities have the fame and money but look at all the drama they have: half of them are constantly getting divorced, cheating on their spouses, have drug addictions because why? They have all that power and money but aren't happy with themselves so they just further dig a hole in their lives until they're nothing. I don't know. I have my friends, a place to live, a job, and my games- overall, I think I'm doing pretty dang good~
Parsimony: a nicer way of saying you're cheap and frugal as hell, lol
I'm VERY surprised you mentioned education and talent. There was a study of the job market recently. The jobs that are the most successful are jobs that are related to a trade, such as electricians, welders etc. This goes back to your other point. Things that look too tough. Which is why a lot of these high paying jobs are overlooked. Everyone wants the sweet desk job that pays mad money but nobody wants to get their hands dirty.
It was enjoyable reading this, I admit to a few of these myself.
Yeah, I'll be blunt, nowadays I really think just having a college degree is a waste of money unless you're going into a specific field (ie- nursing, physician, attorney, etc). Otherwise, you can do just as well, if not better learning a trade skill or...I don't know, learning on the job. The problem is, and most HR and hiring managers will say this to anyone: they won't want to hire you unless you have a degree. Why? that little piece of paper says you have an education. But just because you have book sense and have thousands of dollars in loans, doesn't mean you're capable of being a doctor, lawyer, or hell even a manager. It just says you went to school a little longer than some people.
Funny ol world we live in ain't it?
It would seem that common sense would dictate hiring the person with experience over formal education, but sadly you are right, for some reason the world doesn't turn that way.
Oh god I couldn't have your job. That would be beyond my scope of patience. Having to deal with all those people and those situations? No thanks I'm happy with my trade where I can just work quietly by myself and not worry about anyone else. I don't see how you do it.
...my boss lets me smack people that get on my nerve (kidding, kidding- though if I could, the ER here would have a lot of admits coming through, lol).
But no, I work in conjunction with human resources and liked by everyone in that department- not to mention I have a say in several of the employees' certifications and training they have to do here: from nurses to physicians and residents. Basically, if people start to get my nerve, I can make their working lives a living hell or talk to some of my connections *evil laugh...coughs* Err, yeah...good times
OOOH I knew you had some power where you work but I didn't know you could do all that, I'd imagine nobody wants to get on your bad side!
2) Because saving money doesn't have the value that it used to in a different kind of economy. It's hard to save money when there's little trust in anything financial.
3) Many do, and while you don't need money to be happy, it helps in countless ways that assist in someone's overall happiness.
4) No arguments here.
5) Eh. Sometimes, but no more or less than any other generation.
6) Human nature.
7) Certain personalities, yeah. Formerly myself too.
8) No argument really, it's the hs/college mindset.
9) Sadly true.
10) More or less a fallacy these days, only because of how connected the world is. Too much intermingling to have much of a distinct locational identity these days.
11) Yeah, but again.. what generation is free from looking at things in black and white overall?
12) Not inherently a bad thing, but only if one is inflexible.
13) Truth.
I also find it fun to get certain people in trouble by provoking the things they do that gets them in trouble. For instance one guy has the tendency to yell and cuss at everyone so I sometimes get him mad at me on purpose. Or if he is already mad I'll make him madder (at me only though, not when he is mad at others) meanwhile he gets written up by the supervisor for cussing at and threatening me lol XD *shrugs* Hey, not my fault he can't control himself XP
I would say nowadays, my main culprit is and probably always will be seeing things in black and white...that and saving up money, ugh. You never know when an emergency will happen...even at our age, and I rather be safe than sorry
Nothing wrong with saving your money XD I used to be like that when I was little, mom would give all us kids $50 and "let us loose" at toysRus. I would come back with my arms empty while my sisters filled the cart. I was about 5ish I think, just wanted to put it all in a bank account and see how much I could save lol. But never know what can come up. especially with my job.. I have the risk of getting laid off for up to 6 months out of the year.. hasn't happened yet, might apply at Digikey if it does and see what I like better, working with motors or electronics lol
Like a few days ago, one of my friends told me that one of his friends point blank told my friend that he doesn't like me. Now back in the day? I would have asked and pried for details to find out why and how (if possible) could I make him like me. Now? *shrugs* I just said "Okay, I don't like him either, that's cool..." (which I really don't). So it's basically a mutual dislike- we don't even know each other that well, but we know each other enough to know we don't click with each other
...long story short, some people just don't like you and vice versa. Instead, I just hang out with my friends that do like me instead; less drama.