You know...I have tried being a good son and older brother but every time I do that....my folks tell me go to my room. Like I am some kind of animal. They do that. Plus my dad picks on me saying that my room is a fucking cave. Well dad...its not....its a cage that you tell to go. *cries and sniffles* Today was my brothers 19th birthday and...he acts like he doesn't want a birthday. Like he don't care about it. I said to him Jordan your being depressed. Well...guess what he said. He said..."Depressed people are the weak." Pretty much for what he said that...I am weak. And he is right...he started a fight on his birthday with me and mom and we tried to calm him down and...he was just an asshole. Mom however sits there and does nothing and tell her she shouldn't take this anymore and that she should stand up. But she never does. She just lets my little brothers act like assholes in the house. Pretty much...she is there bitch. It hurts to say it but...its true and she knows it but...she doesn't want to do anything. Dad yells at me for no reason. Doesn't want the neighbors to hear he says...well dad your yelling. You always pick on me about how I whisper you can't whisper for shit neither.

I lied about this guys...my little brother the 19 who just turned. Remember that day when I broke my nose last summer. I lied about breaking it on the wooden floors...my little brother punched me in the nose in the car. My mom starts a fight with me and Jordan dragged me to the back of the seat with the twins and they were...beating me up...and I couldn't fight back. Then he punched me and broke my nose. The truck was full of blood spilled...everywhere.

That yeah 2014...ruined my life. My dad left and I thought it was over again. And I thought I might have ti ask Amy to move on...and she did it...but this time my folks are back together. My parents and everyone...ruined EVERYTHING!!! I sacrificed everything! I did!

I am so fucking weak and alone guys...I have no one to live with or move to. I HATE THEM ALL!!! I HATE THEM!!! But no one cares...I have no family...NO REAL FAMILY...who knows how to love each other and get along. I don't know any of that...

Least there is...some good thing I guess...I rather live and die alone...because I never knew how my parents learn to love each other...or have brothers get along. So if one day I have wife and kids...would that be me one day...

I'm sorry for talking like this but...it hurts so much!:c The feels everything...I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING HERE!!! NOTHING!!! Nothing...



*cries on my bed shaking*