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Things to Expect When Dealing with a Strong Woman
10 years ago
Well…we made it to Friday folks! Geez, I can’t believe it’s been two months since I put up a journal. I hope everyone is doing okay and having little to no drama in your life (Yeah I know: furries not having drama? Funny). Anyway, thought I’d end the week with an informative yet fun journal.
Yesterday, I read an article about strong, independent females and the issues they face in society, especially when it comes to dating, relationships, or just making new friends or social connections. While this article was geared towards dating, I think it applies to ALL relationships: friendships, coworkers, or anyone you interact with on a day to day basis. And while some of these statements are meant to be funny, for the most part, they pretty much describe the type of people I prefer to be around or spend time with…so keep that in mind those of you that are want to get to know me better or are so “intimidated” of me you’re afraid to even say hello:
1. Don't expect any fluff from her.
You're going to have to stop dancing around issues and start being straight with her, because that's how she's going to be with you. If there is an issue or something bothering her, you're going to know about it. She is a problem-solver and she wants you to be, too.
If you want something sugarcoated, you should probably go get yourself a cupcake, cupcake.
2. Don't expect to carry on any type of relationship solely through text messages.
Women like this are efficient communicators and the nuances of texting aren't going to cut it. Sure, some texts throughout the day to keep in touch will work just fine, but your primary mode of communication will be over the phone or face-to-face (as it should be).
3. Don't expect her to be impressed by your antics.
Leave your "social proof" antics at the door. Any juvenile attempt to make her jealous by talking about or posting photos with other women will backfire. Strong women do not get jealous because they are secure enough in themselves to know what (and who) is worth their time, or what/who isn't. If she is going to fully commit to you, she expects the same in return -- no games here.
4. Don't expect to have mindless conversations. [I can't even emphasize this point enough]
Strong, mature women are worldly, passionate and educated. They are willing to have real conversations about real issues, and while there might be World of Warcraft playing in the background, her mind is still going a mile a minute about things that really matter. If you want her attention, you are going to have to keep up.
5. Don't expect being indecisive to fly.
She probably has a stressful job that requires her to spend the day making decisions or dealing with other people's nonsense (THIS…so much!) If you are looking for evenings full of "I don't know…” exchanges, then you are barking up the wrong tree. She wants you to be capable of making decisions and take the initiative.
6. Don't expect her to put up with disrespect.
No woman should. Today's women are bold, confident and know what they want. What they don't want is to be around someone who is going to mistreat or disrespect them.
7. DO NOT expect being flaky to be okay.
If you say you are going to do something, whether it involves her or not, you're going to be held accountable.
And THAT is one of the number one reasons my tolerance for people is slim; being flaky is something I will NOT put up with, from males or females.
8. Do expect to be consistently motivated.
Having a strong woman is like strapping a jetpack to your back. She lives her life with purpose, with goals, and with a vision. If she’s chosen to befriend or spend time with you, her ambitious nature will rub off on you, if you aren't like that already. You will have a lifelong teammate by your side…a confidant.
9. Do expect her to fully commit to you.
Strong women are loyal. They expect honesty and commitment from you, but they are more than willing to return it with the same fierce passion they apply to every other aspect of their lives. You will not find a more trustworthy woman than a strong, independent one.
Why? Because she chooses what she wants out of life and she holds on to it when she gets it. When she wants something, she will give it her everything.
10. Do expect to have new experiences.
She has lived her life with passion and excitement. Along this journey she developed hobbies, interests and has had unique experiences. Furthermore, she has built a list of things she wants to do in the future -- and she wants to share them with those she cares about.
11. Do expect to look forward to every day.
When you are with a strong woman, there is no such thing as being bored [that's subject to debate, lol]. She is always on the go, and while she does enjoy relaxing on the couch, she can just as easily suggest an impromptu weekend away in the mountains. And, even if you plan it out, expect her to add her own personal flair.
Tl;dr: You will never be happier than when you are with a strong woman, because she lives her life with a burning desire to make the best of it. She will motivate you to become the best possible version of yourself…do not shy away from strong women, and do not be intimidated by their passion for life.
Yesterday, I read an article about strong, independent females and the issues they face in society, especially when it comes to dating, relationships, or just making new friends or social connections. While this article was geared towards dating, I think it applies to ALL relationships: friendships, coworkers, or anyone you interact with on a day to day basis. And while some of these statements are meant to be funny, for the most part, they pretty much describe the type of people I prefer to be around or spend time with…so keep that in mind those of you that are want to get to know me better or are so “intimidated” of me you’re afraid to even say hello:
1. Don't expect any fluff from her.
You're going to have to stop dancing around issues and start being straight with her, because that's how she's going to be with you. If there is an issue or something bothering her, you're going to know about it. She is a problem-solver and she wants you to be, too.
If you want something sugarcoated, you should probably go get yourself a cupcake, cupcake.
2. Don't expect to carry on any type of relationship solely through text messages.
Women like this are efficient communicators and the nuances of texting aren't going to cut it. Sure, some texts throughout the day to keep in touch will work just fine, but your primary mode of communication will be over the phone or face-to-face (as it should be).
3. Don't expect her to be impressed by your antics.
Leave your "social proof" antics at the door. Any juvenile attempt to make her jealous by talking about or posting photos with other women will backfire. Strong women do not get jealous because they are secure enough in themselves to know what (and who) is worth their time, or what/who isn't. If she is going to fully commit to you, she expects the same in return -- no games here.
4. Don't expect to have mindless conversations. [I can't even emphasize this point enough]
Strong, mature women are worldly, passionate and educated. They are willing to have real conversations about real issues, and while there might be World of Warcraft playing in the background, her mind is still going a mile a minute about things that really matter. If you want her attention, you are going to have to keep up.
5. Don't expect being indecisive to fly.
She probably has a stressful job that requires her to spend the day making decisions or dealing with other people's nonsense (THIS…so much!) If you are looking for evenings full of "I don't know…” exchanges, then you are barking up the wrong tree. She wants you to be capable of making decisions and take the initiative.
6. Don't expect her to put up with disrespect.
No woman should. Today's women are bold, confident and know what they want. What they don't want is to be around someone who is going to mistreat or disrespect them.
7. DO NOT expect being flaky to be okay.
If you say you are going to do something, whether it involves her or not, you're going to be held accountable.
And THAT is one of the number one reasons my tolerance for people is slim; being flaky is something I will NOT put up with, from males or females.
8. Do expect to be consistently motivated.
Having a strong woman is like strapping a jetpack to your back. She lives her life with purpose, with goals, and with a vision. If she’s chosen to befriend or spend time with you, her ambitious nature will rub off on you, if you aren't like that already. You will have a lifelong teammate by your side…a confidant.
9. Do expect her to fully commit to you.
Strong women are loyal. They expect honesty and commitment from you, but they are more than willing to return it with the same fierce passion they apply to every other aspect of their lives. You will not find a more trustworthy woman than a strong, independent one.
Why? Because she chooses what she wants out of life and she holds on to it when she gets it. When she wants something, she will give it her everything.
10. Do expect to have new experiences.
She has lived her life with passion and excitement. Along this journey she developed hobbies, interests and has had unique experiences. Furthermore, she has built a list of things she wants to do in the future -- and she wants to share them with those she cares about.
11. Do expect to look forward to every day.
When you are with a strong woman, there is no such thing as being bored [that's subject to debate, lol]. She is always on the go, and while she does enjoy relaxing on the couch, she can just as easily suggest an impromptu weekend away in the mountains. And, even if you plan it out, expect her to add her own personal flair.
Tl;dr: You will never be happier than when you are with a strong woman, because she lives her life with a burning desire to make the best of it. She will motivate you to become the best possible version of yourself…do not shy away from strong women, and do not be intimidated by their passion for life.
I think only immature, possessive guys would be 'intimidated'. Mainly because it'd be extremely difficult for them to try and 'imprison' someone matching that description, and get away with it. It's really disgusting how guys try to mentally and emotionally break their partners down. Make them feel dependent and worthless. Makes me wonder why 'strong' women are so rare? I sure as hell wouldn't put up with that shit! :P
"Too bad women like that are almost impossible to find." Umm...hi? LOL. I know what you mean, really. Yeah, we are a rare breed. The problem is society plants this image in females' minds that they have to be the "happy, compliant" female that doesn't question others motives and wishes and just does with others say: basically if others are happy, the woman [should] be happy. That image was just reinforced in the 50s and 60s with all the stereotypical shows and movies where the wife stayed at home and took care of the kids and house while the husband went out and made the income, the female having little to no education past high school. And a working female back then? Hardly existed.
...thank GOODNESS times have changed! But that goes more into feminism, which honestly, I don't give a crap about because some of those so called feminist, "womens rights" idiots are just a bunch of hot air that make all women look bad and ignorant.
"I think only immature, possessive guys would be 'intimidated'. Mainly because it'd be extremely difficult for them to try and 'imprison' someone matching that description, and get away with it." Pretty much that in a nutshell.
I'm sure you recall me telling you tales of dumbasses from "the site." And yes, I have had guys tell me in my face, "Yes, you intimidate/scare me and didn't want to talk to you out of fear..." because apparently I give off this aura of being unapproachable. Pfft, I wonder where people get that from? *looks at half my gallery where my sona is holding a weapon* Hmm...lol. But it just baffles me how I see and hear all these guys complaining about how they want a strong, independent woman in their lives yet those same twits are the main ones that date...I don't want to say weak, but "passive" women. And I think it's because they want to feel like they (the men) have control of the relationship and don't want to feel like their competing for control against a woman.
That's another reason I don't bother with dating anymore: the guys that supposedly want a strong female, rarely date them...or if they do, don't know how to handle being with one and flake out. And the guys that are drawn to stronger females tend to be passive or submissive in nature- which I really don't need or want in my life.
and from my perspective, when a good 9 out of 10 women cite "intelligence" as being the most 'attractive feature' in a prospective partner, that effectively translates into "HOT GUY DESIRED BY OTHER WOMEN ..who also isn't half bad at upholding conversations". XD Guys actually pull that one equally as much though. It's all to do with impressions and lack of self-understanding; stretching ones image, trying to feel and appear admirable. They think they like strong, independent, intelligent women, and like to think that they're mature, but they've a lot of growing to do as a person. Superficiality isn't anything to be outright -ashamed- of (everyone is, and everyone tries to pretend otherwise), but at least be honest with ourselves, no?
self-understanding it's a double edged sword, because the more you know about yourself, the harder it is to find suitable partners... as in, there's virtually NO opportunities! It's much easier to distinguish those who have their own shit sorted out from the ones who are still 'experimenting', and subsequently running in circles. While most people are free to frolic in emotions and trail along behind their whimsical hearts, happy and carefree until shit blows up in their face. Cry. Recover. Repeat the same mistakes... For us, looking at said recipient of our infatuation would almost certainly evoke a single thought. "Bullshit!" XD At least we don't have to waste our time making mistakes... but we're left sitting on our hands, and time drifts on by all the same, like wtf? You just can't win.
>> And the guys that are drawn to stronger females tend to be passive or submissive in nature- which I really don't need or want in my life.
A'yup! And there's a loooot of subs in this fandom (be thankful more than half of them are gay). You'd need to date a strong guy who's secure in his masculinity... (Who, wait for it... Enjoys the same shit, and desires the same shit, and thinks mostly the same shit.... Yeeeeeah, good luck! Then it suddenly becomes a game of compromise, and it's just like "Ah, fuck it!").
You will get pursued by some who really only want a second mother (replace 'submissive' with 'abusive/controlling' and you'd have a stereotypical example of a 'man' from the 50's), but at least they're easy to spot. Immature, possessive guys, and selfish guys who just want a sex-thing for in-between raids will also pursue... I find that the dating advice imparted by corrupted Ashbringer proves to be the most effective in dealing with these situations.
As for my advice... If you ever tire of being stuck sitting on your hands, and wish to pursue a relationship... Write down a list of 5 traits that a partner absolutely MUST have. Settle for 3/5. Kick them in the balls repeatedly until it becomes 4/5. That's probably as close to perfect as one could ever hope to get.
"And there's a loooot of subs in this fandom (be thankful more than half of them are gay). You'd need to date a strong guy who's secure in his masculinity... (Who, wait for it... Enjoys the same shit, and desires the same shit, and thinks mostly the same shit.... Yeeeeeah, good luck! Then it suddenly becomes a game of compromise, and it's just like "Ah, fuck it!")." So...let me ask you this: where are the "strong, assertive" guys then? Are they hiding or just lost in portal between azeroth and dreanor?
"If you ever tire of being stuck sitting on your hands, and wish to pursue a relationship... Write down a list of 5 traits that a partner absolutely MUST have. Settle for 3/5. Kick them in the balls repeatedly until it becomes 4/5. That's probably as close to perfect as one could ever hope to get." So here's my problem: I have a list I made long ago, which I've tweaked to my wants and needs in a relationship BUT...it's like two pages long: typed (no, I'm not kidding, it's really that long). And I'm sorry but I'm not willing to compromise my needs and wants or "settle" for some twit. Or train for that matter
...hence why I'm not looking for someone right now; it's not fair to yourself or said partner to "settle." That's what causes resentment and/or cheating in most relationships. Hell, look at the divorce rate in this country! People leaving their spouses because they grew tired of the other or realized they didn't have as much in common as they thought they did but didn't want to be alone. Why should it be impossible to find someone that fits ALL your traits?
But that "kicking in the balls" part sounds like fun! With reason of course...
"and from my perspective, when a good 9 out of 10 women cite "intelligence" as being the most 'attractive feature' in a prospective partner, that effectively translates into "HOT GUY DESIRED BY OTHER WOMEN ..who also isn't half bad at upholding conversations"."
Sad but true. I'll admit I do go for intelligence: actual intelligence that is, not just looks. Yes, looks are nice but...hell, if a person can't hold a conversation with me, I get bored -very- quickly. And I guess I'm odd because I've never gone after the "hot guy." Probably because I know I'm not a 10 or model quality so why the hell should I assume I'd have a chance with one? Call me cynical, but I see that as being realistic: why lust or try to attain someone that, let's face it, will only be attracted to someone that's as superficial and physically attractive as they are? I guess that's why I never had crushes on movie stars or popular people: subconsciously I knew it was a moot point and served no purpose, lol.
Some are gay, others happily married, and a lot probably aren't online at all (at least not on furry websites, or playing video games). We're not talking strapping, charismatic, financially successful strong guy though, right? Just someone assertive, considerate, not overly selfish or pushy, reasonably intelligent (I'm beginning to see why it's 2 pages...), who enjoys similar games. I'm sure there's quite a lot of those around, they're just drowned out by the sheer number of people who don't fit the description.
>> I have a list I made long ago, which I've tweaked to my wants and needs in a relationship BUT...it's like two pages long: typed (no, I'm not kidding
In bullet point? Hahaha, that's hilarious... Mainly because mine would probably be just as bad. The "realized they didn't have as much in common as they thought they did" comment is particularly spot on, people are too eager and rush in. Thinking they not only know themselves, but also someone they've only just met... and I guess there is some 'instant gratification' to be found there as well, just the inevitable fallout of hostility/breakup/divorce always ensues.
You don't really need a physical list, they're just fun to look at, and writing one contributes towards the self-understanding. The list should be an ingrained part of ones memory and desires. I undergo the exact same process every single time I like someone. I figure out exactly what it is that attracted me in the first place, and if it's reasonable, I then try to learn as much about them from a distance - until I manage to convince myself that I wouldn't make them happy long-term, and/or vice versa. Aiming to prove that it would never work is always the brutally honest goal for me! Sometimes, you just can't seem to prove it. Then I'll try to befriend them. (Whoa, all that effort and forethought, just to consider befriending someone?!? Where's all the insta-gratification?! D:)
>> Why should it be impossible to find someone that fits ALL your traits?
I'm beginning to realize that when someone has almost identical interests, hobbies, etc.... They also share a lot of the same weaknesses or undesired behavioural qualities as well. Take me for example. I'm a furry with a feral preference, who appreciates suggestive/provocative art as opposed to outright smut. I'm a gamer, who plays WoW. Insightful. Respectful. Utterly devoted. Selfless in relationships if I can justify being so. Not jealous or possessive. Knows exactly what he wants. Dislikes small talk... Probably not sounding too bad, right? Now, some of the negatives on that list!
- I'm incredibly indecisive over unimportant decisions (so I'm guessing outside of work, you are/wish to be the same): "Where should we go? What food/drink should we order?" Flip a damn coin! I like surprises, and I like people who take the initiative.
- I'm submissive (actually I'm incredibly dominant, but I WANT to be submissive, or at least split the roles 50/50; making me desire a more dominant partner. (Again, I'm guessing you're the same)).
and so on... Someone who wanted to be dominant in a relationship would probably lack the indecision as well, but there's a good chance they'd be more pushy, more into smut, more prone to possessiveness/jealousy. Everything needs to line up intricately for each box to be ticked.
>> I guess that's why I never had crushes on movie stars or popular people
Popular people tend to go for other popular people as well. I've never had a single crush on a celeb or actress my entire life, and liking anyone remotely popular within this fandom is incredibly daunting because of all the potential exposure (I'm sure most people would love the publicity, which is partly why so many swoon and obsess over famous people).
"Some are gay, others happily married, and a lot probably aren't online at all (at least not on furry websites, or playing video games)" You know...you and mustang are pretty much just reinforcing the inevitable: that I am going to be single for a long, long time! LOL. Seriously, why would I want to date a guy that's not a furry, plays video games and spends most of his time online when he's not at work? *snorts* That sounds...boring. But yeah, it's like the old saying, "the good ones are either gay or taken..." And sadly enough, that's for the most part true. Yet that leaves the rest of us "good ones" wondering "What about us...where's our damn happiness?"
...so we just go back to playing WoW to fill the void.
And yes, I really do have a list that's two pages long of what I'm looking for in a guy. I made it about...a year or so ago? I realized it was time I sit down and really assess the type of guys I was drawn to and how to STOP being drawn to said guys because they obviously weren't the right choices if they kept leaving, cheating, manipulating, or screwing around with my emotions. So...I made a list of everything: from not wanting kids (that's a biggie for me) and being a furry or at least a furry fan...to little things like someone that works out and gets along with my friends and family. Then I sorted by things that are requirements/must have, down to flexible, willing to compromise depending on the situation, etc, etc...And yes, I'm pretty sure as I get older (and more cynical) the list will change accordingly but for now it will do.
"I'm beginning to realize that when someone has almost identical interests, hobbies, etc.... They also share a lot of the same weaknesses or undesired behavioural qualities as well." Yeap! Which is probably why they say opposites attract as well. I mean...would you really want to date someone who has the exact same faults as you? It'd be like looking at yourself in the mirror, only as a female! lol. On a funny sidenote, we really do have alot in common...which is probably why we get along so well. Seriously, why the hell don't you live closer? We could order a pizza, play wow all day, and roll our eyes at how 90 percent of the submissions on the front page are smut or porn and find that one, rare, good piece of general art somewhere in there *snickers* But no, I hate that what few decent friends I have are so damn far off, yet there are no local people to even go out and discussion video games with, meh.
"I'm submissive (actually I'm incredibly dominant, but I WANT to be submissive, or at least split the roles 50/50; making me desire a more dominant partner. (Again, I'm guessing you're the same))." Ugh, this so much! Fact: while I tend to be very dominant in relationships, it would be nice to have a partner that had the balls (no pun intended) to step up and be assertive...not aggressive and take control every now and then. That doesn't really make either of us submissive; it just means we prefer others to take charge every now and then. Yet submissive guys tend to be drawn to me more than dominant guys *rolls eyes* And I'm guessing you have the same issue.
"Popular people tend to go for other popular people as well. I've never had a single crush on a celeb or actress my entire life, and liking anyone remotely popular within this fandom is incredibly daunting because of all the potential exposure." I know this is going to sound backwards but...I am not drawn or attracted to popular furs or artists. I guess for the same reason I'm not attracted or get crushes on movie stars: you already know they're out of your reach so why the hell bother? That and they already have x amount of fanboys/girls all over them, to them, you're just another fan or person drooling over their art or sona. It's very, very rare for a popular person to date a "normal" person (or furry). That's not me being cynical, that's just how it is; popular people are swayed towards other popular people.
You and I both, lmfao! Well thank shit that relationships aren't a prerequisite to happiness. It's just a massive shame, really, that's all it is.
>> "...so we just go back to playing WoW to fill the void."
You know... back when I first started playing WoW (14-16), every female player was aged 23-28. Now that I'm 25..... WHERE THE FUCK HAVE THEY ALL GONE?!? (lmao!) XD
>> I mean...would you really want to date someone who has the exact same faults as you? "It'd be like looking at yourself in the mirror, only as a female!"
Well when you put it like that, it doesn't sound too bad! XD The one benefit of having a shared weakness is that both people are more likely to be understanding, and facing the same issues together makes it a whole lot less daunting (even if you both fail together, it's more funny than discouraging). If you go for someone who is proficient in areas of your weaknesses and vice versa, the potential for co-dependence arising is much higher, and that's rarely ever a good thing. Complementarity is awesome, but in moderation imo.
>> "That doesn't really make either of us submissive; it just means we prefer others to take charge every now and then. Yet submissive guys tend to be drawn to me more than dominant guys *rolls eyes* And I'm guessing you have the same issue."
Nobody gets drawn to me AT ALL, that's my issue lmfao! XD ..but it's an issue of my own making, I've always tried to be distant to avoid people who don't know themselves thoroughly, which is just about everyone (at least everyone you see in public places, who are more likely to be extroverted; extroverts tending to be more dominant... So dominance = increased likelihood of lacking introspection and self-understanding? Awesome...). I've something of a dichotomy in terms of who I'm attracted to. Fragile, traumatized women - who I can understand and help become better people, and fit, indestructible women who are emotionally handicapped - because I know they're self-sufficient, safe, don't need me around to 'protect' them. Plus I can help them develop and better understand their emotions; a topic that makes a lot of them uncomfortable. If I do attract someone, they're far more likely to be the latter as they're far more of a go-getter type.
Hm, I think it makes us somewhat submissive in the sense that we'd like to be given the opportunity to take the back seat. We're just not given that opportunity, and thus have to remain exclusively dominant all the time. In spite of it all, judging by some of these other comments, at least you attract seemingly intelligent people who possess analytical minds.
>> "you already know they're out of your reach so why the hell bother? That and they already have x amount of fanboys/girls all over them, to them, you're just another fan or person drooling over their art or sona."
Spot on, lmao! And therein lies the fundamental difference between emotional and logical people; lol, I almost sound like the latter. If the former didn't exist, people like Justin Bieber (lol I couldn't even spell the prick's surname without google) would be blatant nobodies. It's bleedingly obvious who the inwardly emotional fans are - even on sites such as this one - because they take everything personal (and there's a lot of them, hence the excessive drama). From time to time, you might spot a popufur posting an 'I love everyone!!!' comment, whipping their fans into an emotional frenzy. "Everyone? Wait... That includes me!! I'M EVERYONE!!! :D" It's pretty fucking hilarious to watch.
All popular people have to be sceptical about others wanting to be their 'best buds', because so many just want to mooch some of their spotlight. Personally I think such scepticism is to be commended, even if they learn to emotionally rile up and manipulate people... but then they're just giving those particular fans what they want, so no biggie.
Practically every popufur is equally as plain & unknown as the rest of us outside of the fandom. I dunno about you, but I've never really paid a great deal of attention to the current happenings and affairs of the fandom; it's small enough that news/rumours spread wild wildfire, so you can pretty much idle around and passively be kept up to date. In truth, I'm only here because so many people are conveniently into similar things, and they all happen to identify as 'furries', so I might as well too.
...most of them are now married, in relationships, or no longer play wow, sorry. Most WoW girls are instantly snatched up when guys find out they play *excludes myself because obviously I'm too much for them to handle*
Good example, I used to work with a girl that plays wow; she's around the same age as me and damn good: healer and dps, her main being a rogue. Even got in a top raiding guild and raid leaded a bit herself.
Tell me how she not only found her boyfriend in game but they've been together for 2 years now?! They've met in person and visit each other regularly, play wow together, and I'm sure marriage will eventually happen. She even managed to meet her last ex in game. Me? I have NEVER had a guy in game interested in me, much less harass me in game: though that's probably because most instantly assume I'm a guy until they hear me on vent/mumble. "That warrior is doing high dps, therefore it is clearly a male behind the screen!" LOL
I have no words for the kind of luck most females have...none
"Well when you put it like that, it doesn't sound too bad! XD The one benefit of having a shared weakness is that both people are more likely to be understanding, and facing the same issues together makes it a whole lot less daunting (even if you both fail together, it's more funny than discouraging)." I tried dating another cancer (the horoscope sign) once...it did not end well. We had the same strengths and weaknesses...but at the end, he cheated on me and was WAY too emotionally dependent so- hell no; no more dating any guy that's (too) much like myself again. While I would like someone that has things in common with me, there needs to be a balance as well. Good example- definitely want a guy to play WoW with but I don't want him breathing down my neck, telling me how to play my class, or bothering me in game either. It's just nice knowing that "yeah, he plays wow too and we raid together/run heroics in game every now and then..." That's it.
"Nobody gets drawn to me AT ALL, that's my issue lmfao!" that's because you're a damn recluse that spends most of your time on your pc! LOL. The only reason I get any attention is that I'm a female; online that helps -slightly- but not very much unless you put yourself out there (read: reek of desperation or put up pictures that make guys want you; neither of which I do). You're an artist, furry, intelligent, and play video games: hell, there are girls out there that are into that
"Hm, I think it makes us somewhat submissive in the sense that we'd like to be given the opportunity to take the back seat. We're just not given that opportunity, and thus have to remain exclusively dominant all the time." Ah, it would be nice to take the back seat once in a while and just relax...but then the dumbasses would tick me off and do something stupid or immature and I'd have to step up and take the reins again so...it's better this way for now. It's kind of like farming the invincible mount off the lich king: you know the odds are stacked against you yet when you finally find a worthy person to consider your equal to? It's worth it
...wait no, I just want that damn mount; and there are too many WoW analogies and stories in these replies, lol.
"In spite of it all, judging by some of these other comments, at least you attract seemingly intelligent people who possess analytical minds." Now here's something funny: everyone that commented here so far? I met on "the site." Meaning there IS hope on that desolate, perverse hellhole of a site! But geez, finding decent people can be a challenge at times. Though I find it funny the same people always reply to my journals, yet none of my other watchers ever have anything to say *snorts* Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the watchers, and the fact that they like my sonas but just watching me for my art...or my character rather, but not the person who created the sona or my mind? Meh. Can't say it impresses me very much.
Well maybe they should play a little harder to get... Or, I dunno, have higher standards..? Remember that orthopaedic surgeon with the aussie accent you were listening to in that brackenspore raid? Yeah, he was single... (Most women are so very good at selecting terrible mates, rofl!) XD
Does she talk much on vent? (I suppose she'd have to a fair bit if she were raid leading). I'd say it's probably the lack of talking, as soon as guys hear a female voice I can assure you that our ears perk the fuck up. TEN-HUT! We'll stare intently at the list of users, watching names light up, trying to match the voice to the player, because subconsciously, that's our new best friend! XD Maybe I should get really drunk and talk to you in a vent full of guys. They'll get envious and probably start hitting on you after I leave. (Though my luck they'll all be gay, and start pretending to be your friend trying to get my details... Story of my life).
>> ... cancer ...
Well, there's your problem! XD
More seriously though, are you emotionally dependent (or liable to cheat, for that matter?) Couldn't have been too much alike, surely? Judging by your desire for WoW-independence, it sounds like he was super needy and you weren't. Also, while I don't think birth month influences personality in any way, I've met a lot of male/female Leo people; the men are always grandiose, abusive, controlling alcoholics with self-esteem issues; while most of the women (one had 50% of the male traits) were artistic, fun-loving and have a wicked sense of humor.
> You're an artist, furry, intelligent, and play video games: hell, there are girls out there that are into that
Oh, I'm by no means an artist! I just produce marginally better stuff than a lot of people who consider themselves artists. XD Art requires passion, vision, expression and devotion towards improvement, none of which I possess in sufficient quantities. I've a deep admiration for art, and so I dabble in the field, because I like to be involved with that which I admire. Come to think of it, I've never been in a relationship with someone who wasn't an artist. Given how much I like and appreciate the effort and detail in art, I think that's almost a requirement now.
As far as pictures go, yeah, that's kind of the case for both genders... But it's more than just that. If someone passes by your account, you could be an old guy, or an MtF or something for all they know. I mean, isn't wanting to avoid being seen online almost tantamount to walking around in public with bags over our heads to avoid people being attracted to us based on appearance? We sure as heck don't do that! (well technically one culture does exactly that...). That settles it, you're officially e-muslim until we see that pretty face.
>> But geez, finding decent people can be a challenge at times. Though I find it funny the same people always reply to my journals, yet none of my other watchers ever have anything to say
Yeah, most probably just like the 'sona and/or the commissions you're submitting... or they hit +watch hoping for one in return, which a lot of people do. I suppose watching someone is warranted provided you admire something about that person, even if it isn't something you value about yourself most.
"Does she talk much on vent? (I suppose she'd have to a fair bit if she were raid leading). I'd say it's probably the lack of talking, as soon as guys hear a female voice I can assure you that our ears perk the fuck up...Maybe I should get really drunk and talk to you in a vent full of guys. They'll get envious and probably start hitting on you after I leave. (Though my luck they'll all be gay, and start pretending to be your friend trying to get my details... Story of my life)." Funny you should say that, when I do talk in vent? It has NO effect on guys whatsoever. Actually, most guys on my list are either gay or already married so...yeah, no words: none. Which makes me wonder, what the hell am I missing? I'm a female (obviously) yet when a guy hears my voice or finds out I play wow? No effect *shrugs* Ah well...
"If someone passes by your account, you could be an old guy, or an MtF or something for all they know." It's funny you should say that: I was ranting with a friend the other day because I came across this account on here where the guy had a female sona and every other picture? Smut and porn. Actually if you put the sfw filter on while looking at his page, it's -maybe- only a few images viewable while hundreds are blocked, lol. But I just shook my head because here is someone that admits he's a guy yet here he is with a female sona: which I have nothing against. I'm bothered by the fact that he seems to use said sona for nothing but smut! Hell, if he put that much effort into finding a female as he does spending money on art of a female, he'd probably have a real girlfriend to do those things with by now! (just saying) But yeah, the few guys I see on here with female sonas seem to use them for their own little fetishes and fantasies...which is no wonder most people assume a "female" online is not a female without a picture to back it up. Which I refuse to do so because I have no reason to.
"Yeah, most probably just like the 'sona and/or the commissions you're submitting... or they hit +watch hoping for one in return, which a lot of people do" I hate people that do that- like I really do. Why would you watch someone back just because they watch you?! If I watch someone it's because they're a friend, I like their art, or I have plans to commission them down the road. I'm not on here to build up a list of pseudo friends just to make them or myself feel special
Well that's strange, you sure they're neither gay nor taken? XD Curious... There'll be some reason why, but their ears will most certainly still perk up, and they'll still quickly try to identify which character is the female so that they don't accidentally talk shit about you.
>> Actually if you put the sfw filter on while looking at his page, it's -maybe- only a few images viewable while hundreds are blocked, lol.
LOL, that's hilarious XD (I thought you were talking about me at first, giving me shit, hahaha!) Mine's female, but I'm close to that chara and I love it to pieces... To me that'd feel like prostituting my soul, or something, lmfao! Eh, well it is predominantly a sex-driven fandom. Thankfully it's mostly the guys, and luckily I've zero interest in guys... (Seriously, every time I see someone being interviewed about furry culture, and they're like "durr, there's a [I]few bad eggs in the fandom, but that's just a 2%
*COUGH-MULTIPLY-BY-THIRTY-FIVE!*minority! :3 The majority of us are actually very respectable and honest people! ^///^"[/I] I'm thinking to myself [/I]"LOL!! YESSSSSSS!!! They must never know our fetid shaaame! Your bullshittery is legend!!"[/I]) XDThere's really only two reasons to upload selfies, and that's to try and make people drool to boost self esteem, or to open up and give people an idea of what type of person you are. (I mean most guys will simply gawk, but personally, I use photos to predict MBTI type and determine potential compatibility based on what I think I see (intuition is just another form of information metabolism, and my hunches are startlingly accurate, believe it or not)). I certainly don't pay a great deal of attention to photo-less profiles, because even if they aren't self-conscious, I can't get a read on their personality. Text is very deceiving. So no matter how one justifies remaining faceless, it will deter both the quirky/intelligent/non-judgemental and the creeps alike; (i.e. the ones who have any real ambition of approaching you with something serious in mind). The remainder that approach will be cerebral, nerdy individuals with no actual romantic interest, and flaky/creepy people, who will often be Fi-dominant; imagining the recipient as some romantically and sexually idealistic fantasy, and losing all interest at the sight of the real thing - it never lead anywhere. I've probably already said this once in the past, but guys will always, always, always, invest their emotions into a face. If they can't see a face, they will imagine one that no real person has any hope of comparing to. Even if the real person is better looking (they'd have to have a genuinely shit imagination) to what they envisaged, they will still be utterly mind-fucked and need to adjust; to realign their emotions. I'm not sure how the female mind functions in comparison (I'd imagine it would be somewhat similar), but I know that's how attraction works for guys.
Will people online judge you based on photos? Oh, damn right they will! But being critical, and judgemental are totally different from being "judged".
I upload photos with little concern for attractiveness or what others might think, and it's really not that big of a deal... but perhaps I should? I never know if it's personality, appearance, or distance that deters most people, so at least I know my appearance and/or personality aren't appealing to most. XD
>> I'm not on here to build up a list of pseudo friends just to make them or myself feel special
A lot of people crave popularity and attention. They like to feel special. XD It definitely has its perks, being able to call in favours, kept in the loop, more security, etc... Far too much stress and drama for me though. In truth, if I were e-famous I think I'd make a secondary account just so that I could be at peace. I desire freedom and anonymity far more than recognition, that's for sure!
"LOL, that's hilarious XD (I thought you were talking about me at first, giving me shit, hahaha!) Mine's female, but I'm close to that chara and I love it to pieces..." Haha, no, you're fine! I meant guys that literally whore their sonas off as females. Trust me, I could list 2 right now that do that: relatively popular sonas on here that are female but are guys in real life; though that's mostly due to getting art from any and every artist they can and using that artist's name to give them popularity. I have nothing against guys that have female sonas; it's the ones that treat their sonas like...for a lack of better words, prostitues, that riles me up. It makes you wonder what type of females those same kind of guys go for in real life...
"I upload photos with little concern for attractiveness or what others might think, and it's really not that big of a deal... but perhaps I should? I never know if it's personality, appearance, or distance that deters most people, so at least I know my appearance and/or personality aren't appealing to most" Meh, nowadays I wonder what people consider attractive. They claim they want someone with a personality, yet they go for the person with the best figure or biggest boobs. They claim they want someone with a brain, yet they try to get you in bed before they even know your middle name *shrugs* Gotta love the standards people set when looking to find a mate...
Isn't that's the whole aim of the game? Scare away as many people as possible, so that you know the ones who stick around value your mind more than your face? (If not, then shit, I've been doing it wrong!) XD Besides, I seriously doubt that you look like Regan MacNeil, and even if you did... Well....... Then the ones who stick around would have to be really, REALLY 'strong' guys... Right..??
>> Trust me, I could list 2 right now that do that: relatively popular sonas on here that are female but are guys in real life ... the ones that treat their sonas like...for a lack of better words, prostitues, that riles me up.
If it's just a random character then I guess that's one thing, but fursonas are supposed to represent aspects your own personality, aspirations and desires. If your 'sona bangs anything that moves, then isn't that basically saying that one is/aspire to become a really big whore? (Or maybe it just represents how much they like sex). I don't judge them in a negative light, but it certainly says things about their personality and character.
>> Meh, nowadays I wonder what people consider attractive. They claim they want someone with a personality, yet they go for the person with the best figure or biggest boobs. They claim they want someone with a brain, yet they try to get you in bed before they even know your middle name *shrugs* Gotta love the standards people set when looking to find a mate...
If you're wanting to avoid those things, then there's a fair chance that you're looking in the wrong fandom! XD
Actually, y'know what... I've never really cared about my appearance because I'm single - I mean why bust your ass for the sake of attracting a partner, and then letting yourself go afterwards? If someone loves you they'd see your aesthetic potential, and if you love someone yet aren't that great looking, you'd think they deserve the best and would want to give them a partner that others would drool and envy them over - because it's like a great big 'fuck you all, you could've had this but now I'm off limits'. - Anyway, I'll upload some really nice shots of myself for a change, in say, half a years time. Exercise, treatments, detoxing, etc.... It all makes a person look run down and crappy before they start seeing improvements, so after I've had the opportunity to majorly hot myself up, I'll post them so that we can have a laugh at any potential changes in response. XD You should do the same if it sounds amusing; get an unflattering 'before' picture from year(s) back, and take a really nice 'after' picture. Slap the before pic on the profile for a few weeks before updating.
I logged on before work to give my followers their missions and just for kicks, checked the raid/group finder to see what was going on. I saw a heroic BRF group and with the title of the boss they were on, they also had "Girls in vent!"
...damn group was full before anyone else could sign up for it, LOL! If nothing else, at least they know how to advertise
Dying of laughter, that was brilliant. And yes, Whisper, you should listen to Fel's advice ('cus I know you'll see this reply anyway).
If you want to see my scary face, you just have to ask- though my face has a tendency to scare people off
I feel like this list could be summed up as, "Don't be timid or a douche." While it might make sense to us, "strength" is one of those words whose meaning has been twisted over and over again to mean something less than what it should. Most people see strength as something external and that requires being forceful both in personality and in actions, but... strength is drawn from many different facets of a person, especially internally. Walking softly with a big stick is a pretty difficult thing to achieve.
With that being said, I'm not a huge fan of this list. It portrays strong women as some kind of cut and dry, perfect specimen. Kind of unrealistic to find people who don't have burdens and flaws to deal with in one form or another. The reality is that everyone has their moments of weakness, and the vast majority of us need others (family, friends, partners) to get through life, to appreciate both the good and bad sides of themselves. I've found that how people deal with the shittier parts of life is more telling of their strength than when everything is going according to plan. This list could have used some pointers on the other side of things, how strong women tend to deal with adversity and such.
I've gotten sick of the whole war on superficiality. Nothin' wrong with appreciating someone who looks healthy and seems to have inherited good genetics, we're biologically programmed to desire and seek such things while also having the mental capacity to appreciate the inside as well. Anyway in terms of "the site", you know damn well why you intimidate people. For one, most of that userbase is pure trash. I've had maybe, MAYBE a handful of good people come from there to join me in longterm friendship; you, Alex... uh... shit. There's a few people who were friends of people I stopped talking to from there who I'm very good friends of now, but they don't count. I'd say you're looking in the wrong place all this time, but I don't think there's any RIGHT place, which is why you still find yourself on there.
Second, you have a lot to say on a lot of things. Hallmark of someone with a strong mind... if what they say isn't drivel, at least. Then they're just idiots. People are too tl;dr these days, and I know to get someone out of my life quick if they ever throw that kind of line at me. Lastly, these guys you always seem to run into fall into one of two categories: too big of pussies to talk to you like an equal, or too full of themselves to talk to you like an equal. I reckon there's no middle ground simply because the people who fit that description are far and few in-between. Hell, I'd even go as far to say that strong men are almost as rare as strong women, if not the same.
Suffice to say, both genders suck horribly! One of the things you love to always say, lol.
I don't know, Whisper. I wish everyone would stop overcomplicating things and just talk to each other like normal human beings with superficial differences. Rarely seems to work that way... a real tragedy.
I'm going to have fun with your reply too! Sorry I didn't reply sooner but on the weekends I tend to be, well lazy(ier) in regards to replying to anything online. I guess when you're on a computer 5 days a week, 8 hours a day; then another 3-4 hours when I get home in the evenings gaming or checking up on things? I need some downtime. But anyway...
"I feel like this list could be summed up as, "Don't be timid or a douche." Okay, we're done here; that's pretty much the summary of this journal in a nutshell! LOL
But yes, strong women, no, I, prefer a guy that's not a douche, dumbass, ignorant, intolerant of others feelings and thoughts, and can hold a conversation without coming across as a smartass or meek. Yeah, I'm asking for...the impossible! But hey, if I didn't shoot for the stars, I'd just be trying to attain the bare minimum, which would make life too easy and boring.
"It portrays strong women as some kind of cut and dry, perfect specimen. Kind of unrealistic to find people who don't have burdens and flaws to deal with in one form or another." Now I have to disagree with you here. That list was only meant to highlight our good points, not make us seem perfect. I mean let's be realistic here, if you put a strong woman next to a meek, submissive, female and ask a guy to choose who he rather date, he'd probably choose the meek, not as assertive female (unless the assertive one was more attractive, then he'd probably choose her until he felt intimidated by her for whatever other reason but that's a rant I will go into shortly). The problem is, society makes assertive, independent females appear like...for a lack of better words, bitches, and as result, guys veer away from them because they don't want to deal with a woman that knows what she wants out of life and a relationship rather than someone they can "rescue" and protect all the time.
And you know what? I'll be the first to admit I have a plethora of faults but that doesn't make me any less of a strong woman.
"The reality is that everyone has their moments of weakness, and the vast majority of us need others (family, friends, partners) to get through life..." Pretty much, why the hell do you always think I'm on the prowl for reliable, decent friends in my life?
Misery loves company!Good friends make life more tolerable- and gives you someone to gripe and moan to...I'm sure you know how that goes."This list could have used some pointers on the other side of things, how strong women tend to deal with adversity and such." Do you REALLY want to hear how I deal with adversity...especially from your gender and twits in the furry community?
...I'd be dealing with some butthurt people that wouldn't know how to deal with my candidness; since let's face it, the internet...people, aren't always capable of handling the truth. But I'll paraphase...and censor a bit. How do I deal with adversity? I would say something as cliche as "brush it off" but sometimes you just can't...nor can you just move on and hope tomorrow is better. I deal with pain just like anyone else, though I guess I've been hurt so much it's harder to shock me anymore: I won't say I'm desensitized so much as become so cynical and bitter, things that would upset others just reinforces my negativity and makes me more cautious. But that "wall" I've built up, while most say it puts a barrier around me, I think it's sturdy enough to keep the pain at bay, while malleable enough to where if the right person(s) have the right equipment to scale it, they can overcome it and see me for me...food for thought~
Intermission: Pfft, this reply is so long and I'm not even done!
"I've gotten sick of the whole war on superficiality." You're just now at that point?! I've been there for years but it seems like others don't agree with us buddy
"Anyway in terms of "the site", you know damn well why you intimidate people...For one, most of that userbase is pure trash." I...yeah, not even going to argue that: continue-
"I'd say you're looking in the wrong place all this time, but I don't think there's any RIGHT place, which is why you still find yourself on there." Yeap. We've already had this discussion SEVERAL times but for simplicity sake, let's review: most people my age around here are either:
-married/in a relationship
-still in school or too busy working
-moved away to other states due to the economy/lack of social life here or just because
Okay, that's three strikes right there. The few that are still lurking around fit into these categories:
-go to bars/clubs (not my style)
-aren't interested in me (friendship or dating)
-aren't social either, meaning meeting them would require some divine intervention
Also, keep in mind there aren't any "social spots" around here. Seriously, the only hangouts we have are the movies, walmart, and the mall- the latter which is mostly for teenagers now so...yeah. Meaning it's VERY hard for someone my age to meet anyone for something as simple as a weekend gaming party or going out for some tea or drinks. And since I'm not a club person, that knocks out most of my remaining options...which no offense but I don't think I'll find any geeky, gamer people at a club anyway, lol
"Second, you have a lot to say on a lot of things. Hallmark of someone with a strong mind..." I've been told that gets me in trouble...alot *blinks* What? I can't help it, better than just standing by letting someone screw their...or worse, MY life up with their thoughts and/or actions.
"Then they're just idiots." No comment because that's reason enough...
"Lastly, these guys you always seem to run into fall into one of two categories: too big of pussies to talk to you like an equal, or too full of themselves to talk to you like an equal." It's usually the former actually; rarely the latter but yeah, that's a damn good point. You really are observate, aren't you? that and you've heard enough of my horror stories to make a damn good discussion of this: thank you.
Now here's your homework, or question of the day rather- why the hell are guys like that? By that I mean why they hell are they afraid to talk to me on an equal, mature level? And extra credit: the guys that don't fall into that slippy slope...why aren't they afraid to talk to me as an equal?
"I reckon there's no middle ground simply because the people who fit that description are far and few in-between." ...thank you for that slim, ray of hope dang it, lol.
"Suffice to say, both genders suck horribly! One of the things you love to always say, lol." Well that's because it's true! Hell, females suck too; I'm not gender biased...it's hard finding good, reliable people to keep in your life. And yet we try regardless...
Biologically both genders have equal importance in propagating the species, so what's the next step in nature determining equality? Usually, size. Everything sort of just rolls downhill from there on the equality train into the whole hot mess that humanity is. Social programming simply reinforces all of this. Did you hear about the "male" Hooters opening in Dallas? A shift is happening but it's very slight. Anyway, it's mostly an opportunity thing, I think. I was always friends with girls at all ages, so I never bought in much to the "ew cooties" thing, et al. I like sports, beer, fashion, cooking, decorating, picking out what looks good, eating bacon, muscle cars, beaches, working out when my body doesn't hate me, writing, making music, etc. I find balance and harmony between the feminine and masculine, something many, many people lack.
The guys who don't fall into either extreme, aka like the ones who have posted here, recognize that women are more than a resource to fight over and are just humans like us, gender differences aside. We don't treat you differently because you have tits, to be crass.
"Why are guys like that? Nature, and social programming either making everyone feel bad or making them feel like they need to make everyone ELSE feel bad" Hmm, so basically guys are dumbasses that put their hormones and own needs over others? Sounds about right...
"Don't kill me for saying this but females are often considered a "resource" to protect, while males are treated as expendable even if females actually outnumber us." *growls* That's a crude way to look at it...though that probably explains why guys have no interest in me either; I don't have an aura of "protect me, help me" looming around me and as such it makes me not as desirable or wanted as say a female that puts more effort in attracting a male *shrugs*
"Did you hear about the "male" Hooters opening in Dallas?" No...really? Ooh, I feel a road trip coming up when it opens- you should come with!
"We don't treat you differently because you have tits, to be crass." Thanks, lol. Much appreciated
I don't agree that it's a crude way to put it. That's just... how it is. Biologically, that's what life is about; producing the next generation. I'm in the camp that believes that sex is pretty much just a mechanism to outdo viruses, via the Red Queen Hypothesis, where constant genetic recombination makes it near impossible for viruses to wipe us out. Makes the most sense to me anyway. I mean some animals have developed reasons beyond pure reproduction, which is fine. Heck knows I'm not complaining.
That being said, I don't think that's the piece of the puzzle. Plenty of guys like assertive women who don't give off distress signals, but it tends to be meeker guys as we've come to agree. You could put more effort into attracting others, but it'd require changes from you that would probably... make you not you, lol.
Most importantly though, and being brutally forward with you here... you are assertive and strong, but you don't truly have the confidence in yourself yet to really flourish in such a role. Shit like that happens when you've gone through a lot, which I know you have. I have the same issue, which is why I see it in you pretty clearly, and why we're both trying to improve ourselves in the ways that we are. Eventually we have to accept and love ourselves, though... and that will radiate out to others. It really will.
"I'm in the camp that believes that sex is pretty much just a mechanism to outdo viruses" I'm in the camp that believes sex is just a way for quench lust and raging hormones, or as it's been used over the years, a means to show that you love someone. Now I am NOT knocking people for the latter; what I mean is that it's been abused and wrongly used: say what one person considers love, the other is just doing it to appease his/her hormones or it has no meaning behind it. Basically those that are so quick to jump into bed with someone after the first date? That is not love to me? that is..."I'm horny, you're here- let's sleep together and call it love for the sake of it having "some" meaning and it doesn't feel as cheap."
"It really will." Oh...really? Hmm. Well if this damn scale would go down I really would feel better about myself
Sigh. I told you you're building muscle. Stop looking at the damn number on the scale now. You seriously have no idea how good you look now; I'm not telling you to stop anything except regarding the silly scale numbers at this point.
"Anything and everything can be abused, let's just get that out of the way." Well yeah, that's the way of man; it's inevitable. Personally I'm against "nights of mutual fun" even if both people are single and agree because it usually ends in someone getting hurt, even if it's unintentional. Or worse, one of them gets attached to the other but the other just wanted that one night...but that's just my perspective; obviously such things work for others otherwise there wouldn't be terms such as "quick yiff" and f buddies
Being in a relationship with someone unfortunately has come to mean just a few superficial things to many people, appearance/sex/and maybe some common interests. They fail to think of "what will happen to our relationship when we get old? Will I still love this person as I do now? Do I appreciate them for who they are and understand they are a person as well and not a status symbol or some other vague symbol of personal gain? I think the degradation of society in general has led to this degradation of what people now freely and frivolously call a "relationship" Compare families in the 40's and 50's to now, there are so many kids who don't even know who their father is, let alone understand how a family/relationship works, and that carries over into whoever they "love" and form a relationship with.
What really irks me is seeing people at the age of 17, 18, etc (young ages) saying to someone "I'll always love you" who are you kidding, you haven't even gotten out of your huggies and paid your first bills or had to plan your chores around a consistent work schedule, or own your own home. You don't know what life's responsibilities entails, how can you so freely say something that could impact another person's life like that? Man (or woman) the fuck up and stop kidding yourself, wanna make an impression on someone? Tell them that you feel the need to live your life a bit more, mature more mentally before getting into a relationship, that speaks volumes. I don't know what it's like to be a woman but I imagine they, like anyone would rather have a straight answer than being deceived, like I said I have yet to meet someone who likes being deceived.
I think people are "intimidated" by strong independent women because they realize they are more than they are themselves, and that threatens their arrogance that has been built up over years and their sense of self importance, they see a person who wont put up with their nonsense, they see someone who won't acknowledge that the world revolves around them, and that frightens them. I think their daily routine of "me first me first" is in a strange and alien environment socially when they meet someone like that and that causes them to leave their comfort zone.
Okay I'm done.... *tired old dobie goes to lay down because his short fur is all bristled from thinking about idiotic young people and their ideas of what a "relationship" is
Tell them that you feel the need to live your life a bit more, mature more mentally before getting into a relationship, that speaks volumes.
This is what I've done over the last few years (close to hitting my late 20s now), and while I still fully believe in it, it has made the "magic" disappear and people move on to the next shiny thing shortly afterwards. Probably have just run into the wrong folks. I wish people would slow down a little, learn about each other comfortably, and then see if your goals and dreams align before making such a big commitment. I still have yet to ever utter the words "I love you" to someone I've dated; maybe explains why I find myself still single, but at least I don't cheapen what should be powerful words.
I watched Good Will Hunting recently and Robin Williams' character describing his love for his deceased wife was incredible. She wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for him, and what made her his wife was knowing all the little silly things, the little idiosyncrasies that made her, her. Powerful for me.
Now I will say one thing on your comment- you are so damn right. I love how people are so quick to say they love you, want you, or want to be with you. Yet as soon as the next shiny (or ready to sleep with you) person comes along? Ooh, you're nothing more than a memory! People...are impatient as hell. I kid you not, I have lost guys because I wouldn't sleep with them off the bat or date them after they so enamored by me, they wanted me to date them (...). Call me old fashioned but...NO. Relationships cannot be built in a few days, or hell, hours as some people like to wish. And NO, who the hell sleeps with someone you barely know just to prove you "love" them? Sounds like lust and horniness to me. So as a result, what happens when you're too slow to reciprocate the others persons
hormonesfeelings or don't feel the same as they do? They move on to cheaper...err, greener pastures, while you're stuck wondering what the hell happened.