"Is there any intelligent life on this planet!" Sometimes I wonder.

Ummm... You ARE surrounded by Midwesterners! hehehe

*hugs* I miss you. :)

What do ya need help with?

Music, soft mellow music to use as back ground music while people play my game I'm writing.

It's odd, after I posted this, I think one person who I was talking about finally coughed up a commission for me. (I think they read my post here.)

Either way, I commissioned them. I'm out of cash for now but I need more music. if you are interested, send me a note and we can find middle ground :)

*prances around happily*

Talk to BlackNBllue. He loves doing music especially it ya skype with him and help him make it. that is what i can suggest right now

say what? Whats wrong with mid-westerners? We're like the wholesome whole food staple for your diet. We may be a bit bland, but we're full of health and wholesome goodness. Have I mentioned that we're whole and complete? We dont hurt nobody, why knock us?

Humm,.... Where to start on this one. I'm not narrowing it down to any one person or small group, I'm just hitting the broad side of the barn with these comments.

- many intersections don't line up
- Most stop signs are 5 to 20 feet away from the point where you can see around the corner to know if it's safe
- Drivers can't stay in their own lane when sober
- Speed limits on a road keep changing every 4 blocks because cops love their speed traps
- When on a freeway/interstate/Highway you'll go North, south, east, and west, by staying going just way direction. Then they rename them every time the ... say 70 west changes direction, they will rename it to that direction when you haven't left the interstate (and I'm not talking about the loops either)
- two or three freeways/highways/interstates often merge to be the same road.
- Freeways/highways/interstates have stop signs and street lights on them instead of building over passes.
- two freeways/highways/interstates will cross and instead of a safe system of over passes they just all traffic merge and part within 500 feet. Therefore to stay on your freeway/highway/interstate, you need to cross some three to five lanes of traffic.
- Cops invade private property without a search warrant to arrest people who are drinking on their own property
- I've seen too many drooling 25+ year-old retards being dragged around by their elderly parents
- They call the river banks "Beaches" to make them sound fancy for business who are on them ... they are river banks
- The most rivers near any kind of civilization are toxic and always stink
- Every one got a handicap parking pass in expensive cars yet show no sign of being handicap
- The fastest way to your destination is almost always best to head in the opposite direction to start with.
- many high schools here don't have accreditation, when you graduate you have to go and get a GED before any company will take you seriously
- People think Federal Express is part of the Federal Government
- No one has any idea where their trash goes once it's picked up.
- You can recycle many items but glass bottles
- Other then Quicktrip, there are rarely any trashcans any where outside my home to throw trash in, so people just throw it out their windows
- There are way to many churches and paycheck loan
- They love to jack credit cards and loan interest up to 32% when you pay early because they can get away with that shit in the mid-west
- You are not a true mid-westener if you don't have a DUI or an Assault on a peace officer
- They think the best part of bar-b-q are the burnt ends
- The corporations out here don't hire locally, (unless it's mexicans) they hire their good employees from the real cities like New York, Los Angles, Dallas Texas, or other
- They think entertainment is shopping at strip malls, and there is a fucking art to it!
- Almost all the strip malls out here have half there shops boarded up or closed off because there isn't enough business out here
- You have to call ahead to drive throughs to get your order in a timely manner.
- They own SUVs and Four-wheel drive and all wheel drive and can't drive on ice or snow with out crashing their vehicles, I'm talking the expensive ones
- The best place to pick up a good woman is at a bar, and you are lucky if she has all her teeth.
- The whole city is inconvenient, as in, you have to drive four miles from the cites to find a gas station (which might still be open)
- Half the directional road signs are missing
- You have intersections with five or ten different roads coming together with only 4 street lights
- People make a career on the intersection concrete islands either begging or selling large pixie-sticks
- Walmart is seen as the hot spot to meet people
- You've got people who can barely pass a six grade spelling-bee driving tractor trailer rigs at 20+ miles per hour over the speed limit while tailgating
- They think that a town with sports is a great "sports" town even if none of their teams ever win
- They are only have two main type of ads on tv and radio which play about local products, Debt Consolidation, and new car offers.
- They think that when you slow down to 45 miles on the freeway/highway/interstate, it's a traffic jam
- They think more then 8 cars on the road is a crowded street
- Every off ramp or street or item has three names! And every one doesn't know at least one of them. (Wax-Pepper, pepperchinni, bannan pepper <--- All the same damn thing. Spicy mustard, deli mustard, dejon mustard, <--- all the same damn thing) And not try to say all three of them, you have to say one at a time until the recognize one of them
- People think Denny's is a high end dinning restaurant.
- There are no good "All you can eat" places here, but their are so damn many bad ones
- People think home town buffet is and upper class buffet
- The military recruiters here think all terrorists where towels on their head
- For most, joining the military is an improvement of social class and/or a better living standard.
- Most military recruiters don't have all the right tools to tape and measure recruits to know if they are fit or not.
- If you don't know where your friends/neighbors are taking you, then it's best to wear camouflage to meet the dress code.
- People think disability plus food stamps is "the good life."
- Stained pants and collarless shirts with holes in it is an acceptable "Business Casual" outfit
- Sexual harassment is acceptable in the workplace (even in an office setting).
- Messing up a mission critical project two or three times is acceptable because it's better then paying a good wage to people who can get the job done right the first time.
- It's better to keep a power plant (or any other factory) running even if the safety/warning lights are blown out just so you don't loose your profits
- Factories would rather work people 16 hours and deal with poorly made product and incomplete tasks (due to lack of sleep), rather than to hire enough people to get the job done right.
- People refuse to wear safety equipment even if it's required/forced because that's not the "Macho" thing to do, and then complain when they lose teeth, fingers, hearing, and eyes
- Standard Operating Procedure is for managers to not to be allowed to know what their employees are doing, even when product keeps getting destroyed.
- The excellent employees know not to be allowed to be promoted to management because then there wouldn't be any good workers left in the factory to run the damn machines.
- The smart employees know that if they do poorly, they will get more "motivational" rewards and gifts to do the same amount of work their co-worker does with out "rewards."
- DMVs are located in the back of PetCos, pharmacies stores and other weird places
- To renew your license you need to buy new windshield whipper, but it doesn't matter if your vehicle smokes when it runs.
- Without Rent-a-Center, most people won't have furniture in their homes.
- People think Colt & Paps Blue Ribbon (Called PBR) is a great beer
- Both men and women think drinking large quantity of beer proves macho-ness.
- People refer to chicken, fish, turkey, water, and anything that's a plant as "Sissy food"
- If you have pawn shops and a second hand stores in your city/town, your area is a thriving.
- Too many City Halls & Chambers of commerce buildings are unmarked houses. Don't dare knock on the wrong house to find it!
- People don't call pigs, pigs, they call them "Bacon" (That's where bacons are born)
- phone number area codes change frequently based on county, but everyone assumes you know which county they are calling your from. You can't ask customers for area code because that only pisses them off
- They think that a 38 inch waist line is skinny.
- There is always plenty of double wide chair and powered sitting baskets at most places for the average customer
- Almost every one has a visible tattoo even when in a suit and tie
- Out of control beards/mustaches are acceptable to have when you do face to face customer service
- Don't ask employees about products, prices or anything related to their job because they don't know anything about it.
- It's best to accuse yourself of being stupid and dumb or people will pile all their work on you.
- All cuss words are acceptable for Radio except Fuck
- A common greeting is "how you" or "sup" even in a store or business environment
- If they've got more then a single bill on themselves, they say "I've got moneys"


For now ... That's all I can think of

Oh, and excuse the imperfections in my grammar and stuff, something in the water out here fucks people up so they don't notice (or see) the details.

One last thing, people one-on-one in the mid-west are ok in my books, but in groups, damn, shit gets bad.