This has been going for years. I just envision my neck being hacked, sawed and sliced through. Decapitation. Whether it be an axe, knife, razor garrote wire. Done either by a mysterious individual or myself out of malice. I usually see myself, strapping myself, holding my hair as I cleave through. Never really much screaming, it's all inaudible or rather accepting. like "Fuck it, fuck you. Don't give a shit, let it happen, let it end."

Not one for seriously harming myself but I envision a crap ton of it. Most pain I've done to myself was jabbing pins into my arm and lightly cutting it. I'm afraid of pain, but I find it intriguing to attempt to hurt myself. Don't worry though, I love my friends and family so I won't ever want to commit to the act. But I can't shake these suicidal thoughts, these visions. Everyday I think of this. For the last 6 or so years. Suicide is never an option I keep telling myself, it's merely tempting.

Stay safe, friends.