the past couple of months have been super busy. a really nasty thing happened to me and tristan, which caused a huge amount of stress. it really took it's toll. at the same time, xan and aki moved across the road and i threw a lot of time into helping them to take my mind off of things (as well as being happy two of my closest friends are my neighbours now). generally, just became sort of awol. everything piled up and up, then i was signed off university by my doctor due to unmanageable levels of stress, anxiety and ptsd symptoms. instead of taking that time to rest though i... didn't. instead i took on more responsibilities and did so much for other people that i was constantly exhausted and snappy.

it was a bad idea. so now i need to make sure i stop myself from overexertion, and focus on myself rather than what i feel like i should be doing for other people.

while talking this out with my friends, i thought about how i represent myself. and i thought about brambles as a character. brambles is chill; he's a way for expressing myself and behaving how i wish i could behave. i've spent a lot of my life thinking i should just exist to do things for other people, and that if i can't do that it's because there's something wrong with me. and i used creating brambles to forge a path where i got to alleviate some of that needless responsibility.

i think i'd like to try to be more like brambles.