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Calico is Back
7 years ago
Hey guy and gals, Calico here. Yes the real Calico. I'm sorry I haven't been around for the past year and a half. You see, my condition keeps getting worse, and none of the doctors I see know how to help me, or even know what to do. So right now, the plan for me is to be attached to an IV bag of fluids at home, that way I don’t have to go to the hospital every week for treatments.
I haven't been posting, nor have I been talking to any of my friends. Instead I was pushing people away. People I cared about the most, I would just start putting up walls and withdrawing into myself. I would stop talking to people, I would stop responding even when they reached out to me. I did this because in my mind, I thought that maybe if people forgot about me, if I was no longer part of their lives, then maybe it wouldn't hurt anyone so bad when the Reaper finally did come to take me away for good.
I know now, that was very selfish, and stupid of me… All I ended up doing was Isolating myself and having to deal with the pain, and the sickness all alone. This past year I had more than a few very close calls… times where the Doctors would tell me "You may not make it through the night." and when they asked if I wanted them to call anyone, I always said no. I had isolated myself so much that I truly felt that no one would have even shown up. And then Realizing this, I found out that I was Terrified of dying alone. But I was the one who had pushed everyone away.
Now that it's a new year and I've lived through some of the really bad times in this illness, I want to reach out to people again. I want to have my fur-family, and I want my friends backs.. And now with this new IV in home care I can stay home long enough and have enough energy to start working on fursuits again. So Yes I will be working again. And the first thing I need to do before I take any commissions is to finish what we started before I got sick.
This is going to be milestone for me. And I don't have any of my supplies at all here with me. But the moment I get my supplies I will be trying to crank out all the suits that have been paid off already.
I'll be building these by my self now, so please be patient with me. I'm still sick, I'm just feeling better enough to work again.
Thank you all for being so patient with me.
And I'm truly Sorry if I hurt anyone..
~With lots of love Calico Cougar~
I haven't been posting, nor have I been talking to any of my friends. Instead I was pushing people away. People I cared about the most, I would just start putting up walls and withdrawing into myself. I would stop talking to people, I would stop responding even when they reached out to me. I did this because in my mind, I thought that maybe if people forgot about me, if I was no longer part of their lives, then maybe it wouldn't hurt anyone so bad when the Reaper finally did come to take me away for good.
I know now, that was very selfish, and stupid of me… All I ended up doing was Isolating myself and having to deal with the pain, and the sickness all alone. This past year I had more than a few very close calls… times where the Doctors would tell me "You may not make it through the night." and when they asked if I wanted them to call anyone, I always said no. I had isolated myself so much that I truly felt that no one would have even shown up. And then Realizing this, I found out that I was Terrified of dying alone. But I was the one who had pushed everyone away.
Now that it's a new year and I've lived through some of the really bad times in this illness, I want to reach out to people again. I want to have my fur-family, and I want my friends backs.. And now with this new IV in home care I can stay home long enough and have enough energy to start working on fursuits again. So Yes I will be working again. And the first thing I need to do before I take any commissions is to finish what we started before I got sick.
This is going to be milestone for me. And I don't have any of my supplies at all here with me. But the moment I get my supplies I will be trying to crank out all the suits that have been paid off already.
I'll be building these by my self now, so please be patient with me. I'm still sick, I'm just feeling better enough to work again.
Thank you all for being so patient with me.
And I'm truly Sorry if I hurt anyone..
~With lots of love Calico Cougar~
It's great to have you back, really it is. Look forward to seeing your progress!
-Silver
I would love to assist you whenever I can if you need any- whether it be bringing you food, helping you with sewing and/or throwing back and forth ideas for our projects ^^
Hope to see your projects come to fruition this upcoming year!
We need to make arrangements after I get back from TFF!