I have never been here before and it is quite strange. I think that sometimes we like to believe we know what it means to be alive but from the way each and every one of us as individuals perceives the world differently, that just can't be. I use to believe I knew what it meant to be satisfied. I honestly knew nothing of the sort. I knew who I was but what I wanted was an entirely different story. Hell, I got what I needed and I was not even sure if I deserve her. I know nothing is set in stone but despite that, I can't help but feel like I hope it does. Are we alike in that way? I like to think so but I know the fear of hurting me might be there but trust me, I want nothing more than for you to be more than satisfied and as long as I can do that, I am okay with this all.

I do feel a bit lost in all of this, but is that so bad? Sometimes being lost just means finding a new way to new perspectives in a place no one else has been. At least, not exactly. We are different but alike in so many ways. I just hope that what I am doing is right. I am melting under the solid flame of your gaze and it feels alright. I feel okay. I don't know where I am but that's okay. I won't need a map here and I don't feel like there are dangerous corners anywhere. Its like this world was built to be mine but it almost seems too good to be true, maybe it is. I am the prey to the light-- do what it will, I just know I have to have it. Do I disregard all caution and leap into where I cannot see? Isn't that the equivalent of throwing it all away? In all honesty, how much did I honestly have before?

If I trust you, will I be okay? Can I trust you, would that be okay? I will trust you, I hope thats okay. I trust you, I promise. I trust you, I do. I trust you. I hope you can trust me. I trust myself a lot but I have lived with myself for the longest time so that doesn't exactly mean much. Don't worry if it doesn't make sense, I know I can be better and I will be. Sometimes I loose track of my thoughts and I get into this state where I feel almost void, like I can do anything and nothing can hurt me. I feel like luck can carry me the entire way but I know that is not true, that is not something I can trust. I know that now and I am trying to become better. I know you think I'm amazing and great and all the things you wanted, but I have flaws fortunately because I often think.

I may be doubting but don't take it personally, I just don't have that kind of esteem. Its there, I would say but I am willing. This is the farthest I have gotten and I'm sorry if I sound like I'm repeating myself but I don't know where to go, I have never been here before and I may be lost but I trust you and I hope you think I'm all you wanted because I like to think that just maybe, I am. That is the exact same reason I like to think that maybe you are all that I wanted too.