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Never Compromise.
4 years ago
I knew it from the beginning and I should have trusted myself. I can't type this without typing it to you, so that's what I'll do.
You could have to just told me. You didn't want me to join because you knew you were falling in love with someone else, because you lost interest in me. That's all you had to say. You didn't have to drag this on for three months, making me wonder where the fuck you've been? All this time I could have been recuperating, gathering my thoughts and bringing myself back up-- But here I've been waiting for you when you had your mind set a long time ago. Now you hardly want to talk to me? Three years meant nothing to you and I'm suppose to just accept that? I still want to be apart of your life, a friend, a word of advice-- ANYTHING other than what you've made me out to be. Why the fuck don't I get to tell you goodbye? You couldn't give me a fucking day out of the month, you could at the very least give me an hour in a day to say goodbye. Anything other than this.
You weren't so 'busy' that you couldn't spend time with me. You were BUSY because you didn't want to spend time with ME. I was the problem and you didn't say anything. I deserve more than anyone to know that. When Zel wanted to break up to be with someone in her own damn country, I said yeah-- I respected that, fuck my own self-esteem, I know what's best for her, that's what I wanted-- That's what I wanted FOR YOU, SO WHY? I don't care if it isn't me, but don't turn me into a villain when you were the one who did this in the first place. You stopped talking to me. You shut me out. You knew you wanted someone else that wasn't me and you NEVER told me. You should have told me...
I don't care or give a fuck who you're with because those three years mean something to me... Honestly, I'm sad you really gave up on this so fast. Not even two weeks after we talked, you already had a boyfriend you were staying up till 4am with. Do you tell them how happy they make you? Do you tell them how terrible I was? What do you talk about? The same things we did? Did you make the wrong choice like you did with me? How about you tell me so I don't go thinking that I've been still dating Eione all this time. You were better than that... You were suppose to be better than that. So why now are you acting like I'm not worth it? You said you wanted to keep this going, but clearly you didn't. Clearly you lied because you wanted to feel better about yourself.
I didn't even find this out from you, I found it out because you made a comment about talking to a boyfriend two weeks ago, when WE haven't even talked in a month. Call me crazy, but I kinda hoped you might have thought I was worth it again, but I guess not. You moved on fast, almost like you always intended that. Like you knew you wanted this die like a fire and have an excuse to give up on it. You wanted this and you should have just said that. To think I was still willing to try... To think I doubted what my friends said.. Only to find you gave up a long fucking time ago.
The worst of all? You had your new boy toy write your goodbye. You know, the way you used to ask me to help you when you were too weak to do it yourself? You know, because I know how you write. You know, because the way that message was written was by someone that has a warped perception of who I am. You fucker, you didn't even have the damn decency to talk to me. So yeah, I'm glad I know the truth now. Sadly, I had to figure it out on my own. Fuck you.
Thanks Kiara, I hope your happy.
You could have to just told me. You didn't want me to join because you knew you were falling in love with someone else, because you lost interest in me. That's all you had to say. You didn't have to drag this on for three months, making me wonder where the fuck you've been? All this time I could have been recuperating, gathering my thoughts and bringing myself back up-- But here I've been waiting for you when you had your mind set a long time ago. Now you hardly want to talk to me? Three years meant nothing to you and I'm suppose to just accept that? I still want to be apart of your life, a friend, a word of advice-- ANYTHING other than what you've made me out to be. Why the fuck don't I get to tell you goodbye? You couldn't give me a fucking day out of the month, you could at the very least give me an hour in a day to say goodbye. Anything other than this.
You weren't so 'busy' that you couldn't spend time with me. You were BUSY because you didn't want to spend time with ME. I was the problem and you didn't say anything. I deserve more than anyone to know that. When Zel wanted to break up to be with someone in her own damn country, I said yeah-- I respected that, fuck my own self-esteem, I know what's best for her, that's what I wanted-- That's what I wanted FOR YOU, SO WHY? I don't care if it isn't me, but don't turn me into a villain when you were the one who did this in the first place. You stopped talking to me. You shut me out. You knew you wanted someone else that wasn't me and you NEVER told me. You should have told me...
I don't care or give a fuck who you're with because those three years mean something to me... Honestly, I'm sad you really gave up on this so fast. Not even two weeks after we talked, you already had a boyfriend you were staying up till 4am with. Do you tell them how happy they make you? Do you tell them how terrible I was? What do you talk about? The same things we did? Did you make the wrong choice like you did with me? How about you tell me so I don't go thinking that I've been still dating Eione all this time. You were better than that... You were suppose to be better than that. So why now are you acting like I'm not worth it? You said you wanted to keep this going, but clearly you didn't. Clearly you lied because you wanted to feel better about yourself.
I didn't even find this out from you, I found it out because you made a comment about talking to a boyfriend two weeks ago, when WE haven't even talked in a month. Call me crazy, but I kinda hoped you might have thought I was worth it again, but I guess not. You moved on fast, almost like you always intended that. Like you knew you wanted this die like a fire and have an excuse to give up on it. You wanted this and you should have just said that. To think I was still willing to try... To think I doubted what my friends said.. Only to find you gave up a long fucking time ago.
The worst of all? You had your new boy toy write your goodbye. You know, the way you used to ask me to help you when you were too weak to do it yourself? You know, because I know how you write. You know, because the way that message was written was by someone that has a warped perception of who I am. You fucker, you didn't even have the damn decency to talk to me. So yeah, I'm glad I know the truth now. Sadly, I had to figure it out on my own. Fuck you.
Thanks Kiara, I hope your happy.
