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Reacclimating
3 years ago
I don't know where to begin in what I've been through in the last 7 months. It's been rather unexpected but not entirely unwanted. In my last post, I spoke very graphically and truthfully about how I felt about what happened. I was hurt and I was angry. For those who don't know, I believed I was cheated on. In a sense, one could argue that I undoubtly was. I'll get to that, but these last few months have been the most ever changing parts of my life that I have ever experienced. It is perhaps the greatest time of my life.
Kiara and I worked out what happened. It wasn't easy and it certainly required a level of forgiveness that I don't imagine very many posses. I am, fortunately for her, one of the very few whose forgiveness extends beyond what should be allowed. The story is a long one so I'll keep it brief.
My girlfriend joined a GTA RP community and lost herself in it, quite frequently. She neglected our relationship and we became more and more separated. We would try to do things but she would either cancel or do something else. It was heart breaking. It was made worse because I knew it was just a phase for her, something that would eventually pass.. but it had gone on for so many months and the neglect, I just had enough. We both decided, without really communicating, that we were going to not speak with each other anymore. This led to her falling out of the relationship and myself being confused when I looked into the community she was in and found that she had made a new relationship with someone there. It was a rather recent one, but I hadn't been told and we never really cut things off officially.
I messaged her in a panic and just out of complete shock. She thought that the silence meant that it was over, and some might consider that to be true-- but I didn't give up, I was just being stubborn as fuck. We both were. I didn't disagree with her decision, but I had wished I had been included... Especially when I learned that the person she was now dating had a kid and was about a decade older than her. This is where I became more concerned for her, rather than the relationship we had.
My philosophy in any relationship is that, if you truly care for a person-- Regardless if they have interest in you or not, you should care for their wellbeing. And this was a situation where I felt her wellbeing was not being entirely honest. The owner of this GTA RP server helped me get in contact with her, and after two months, I managed to speak to her in voice and talk things out. She said she was happy with the new guy, yadda yadda... And I could actually say goodbye. But something felt off. But I didn't really thiink too much of it at the time.
Cut to a month later, she breaks up with the guy. Turns out he was really controlling over her, wanted to marry her at the end of the year (Barely knew her) and was trying to force her to drop out of school to move in with him and raise his kid. All really sketchy shit. Worst of all, he held her in voice calls all day and would force her to let him listen when she would talk to others. He'd tell her what she could and couldn't say... All and all, everything she doesn't need.
Initially, she didn't message me or even consider it.. Primarily because she felt that it wasn't her place. I sent her a message to see if she was okay. We spoke and she told me she wanted to call, and we eventually did. it took some nerves from her, but she did it. She cried and I listened. She wanted to come back. Anyone else would have flat out told her no, but I didn't tell her yes, either.
I asked that she regain my trust, that we start out as friends again and she prove to me that this time would be different. That we would spend time together. That she would make time for me. That she wouldn't just leave me out to dry till I'm burning under the sun. Come a couple months and she kept her promise, and we talked about it again and again. She reassured me and all in all... She earned this second chance, but I told her it was this one.
She did something that I never thought she would. She offered to come down to visit me for Christmas. Honestly, that was probably one of the best Month's of my life. It felt so natural to just sleep beside her, not knowing what to do really. She loved how I would help her cover up or move her hair if it was in her face. It was the really small things that you don't really think about when you imagine what living with someone would be. Being with her, it felt so natural and right. We never argued, we never fought. We were like two magnets stuck together. It was the first time we really got to just be together alone and see-- are we really compatible? Can this long distance relationship be what it needs to be?
Well, I moved up to her state that next month. I mean, I was intending on moving up North anyway, but moving there for her just made it all the easier. We stayed at an AirBnB while I figured out my apartment situations. We were there about two months and it was like being on a long vacation with the person you love, just no worries, just spending time with that person every single day. Imagine that, we never got tired of it lol.
Then I got fired from my remote job. That was tough. But I fortunately found a Desktop Technician job shortly after and it's with this huge Aerospace company.. I found an awesome place about an hour from her place and we have hopes of moving in with each other in the future. The future is uncertain, but damn. I don't want to die. Not here. This part of my life is very special to me. I normally sit in life and think, if I died here, would I be satisfied with what I've done? Most of the time, I don't really care... But here? Like a good book, I /need/ to know where it goes.
I'm content. I miss my friends and family, but the weather here is so beautiful. I'm young and I live near the mountains and the sea. This is where I'm meant to be.
Kiara and I worked out what happened. It wasn't easy and it certainly required a level of forgiveness that I don't imagine very many posses. I am, fortunately for her, one of the very few whose forgiveness extends beyond what should be allowed. The story is a long one so I'll keep it brief.
My girlfriend joined a GTA RP community and lost herself in it, quite frequently. She neglected our relationship and we became more and more separated. We would try to do things but she would either cancel or do something else. It was heart breaking. It was made worse because I knew it was just a phase for her, something that would eventually pass.. but it had gone on for so many months and the neglect, I just had enough. We both decided, without really communicating, that we were going to not speak with each other anymore. This led to her falling out of the relationship and myself being confused when I looked into the community she was in and found that she had made a new relationship with someone there. It was a rather recent one, but I hadn't been told and we never really cut things off officially.
I messaged her in a panic and just out of complete shock. She thought that the silence meant that it was over, and some might consider that to be true-- but I didn't give up, I was just being stubborn as fuck. We both were. I didn't disagree with her decision, but I had wished I had been included... Especially when I learned that the person she was now dating had a kid and was about a decade older than her. This is where I became more concerned for her, rather than the relationship we had.
My philosophy in any relationship is that, if you truly care for a person-- Regardless if they have interest in you or not, you should care for their wellbeing. And this was a situation where I felt her wellbeing was not being entirely honest. The owner of this GTA RP server helped me get in contact with her, and after two months, I managed to speak to her in voice and talk things out. She said she was happy with the new guy, yadda yadda... And I could actually say goodbye. But something felt off. But I didn't really thiink too much of it at the time.
Cut to a month later, she breaks up with the guy. Turns out he was really controlling over her, wanted to marry her at the end of the year (Barely knew her) and was trying to force her to drop out of school to move in with him and raise his kid. All really sketchy shit. Worst of all, he held her in voice calls all day and would force her to let him listen when she would talk to others. He'd tell her what she could and couldn't say... All and all, everything she doesn't need.
Initially, she didn't message me or even consider it.. Primarily because she felt that it wasn't her place. I sent her a message to see if she was okay. We spoke and she told me she wanted to call, and we eventually did. it took some nerves from her, but she did it. She cried and I listened. She wanted to come back. Anyone else would have flat out told her no, but I didn't tell her yes, either.
I asked that she regain my trust, that we start out as friends again and she prove to me that this time would be different. That we would spend time together. That she would make time for me. That she wouldn't just leave me out to dry till I'm burning under the sun. Come a couple months and she kept her promise, and we talked about it again and again. She reassured me and all in all... She earned this second chance, but I told her it was this one.
She did something that I never thought she would. She offered to come down to visit me for Christmas. Honestly, that was probably one of the best Month's of my life. It felt so natural to just sleep beside her, not knowing what to do really. She loved how I would help her cover up or move her hair if it was in her face. It was the really small things that you don't really think about when you imagine what living with someone would be. Being with her, it felt so natural and right. We never argued, we never fought. We were like two magnets stuck together. It was the first time we really got to just be together alone and see-- are we really compatible? Can this long distance relationship be what it needs to be?
Well, I moved up to her state that next month. I mean, I was intending on moving up North anyway, but moving there for her just made it all the easier. We stayed at an AirBnB while I figured out my apartment situations. We were there about two months and it was like being on a long vacation with the person you love, just no worries, just spending time with that person every single day. Imagine that, we never got tired of it lol.
Then I got fired from my remote job. That was tough. But I fortunately found a Desktop Technician job shortly after and it's with this huge Aerospace company.. I found an awesome place about an hour from her place and we have hopes of moving in with each other in the future. The future is uncertain, but damn. I don't want to die. Not here. This part of my life is very special to me. I normally sit in life and think, if I died here, would I be satisfied with what I've done? Most of the time, I don't really care... But here? Like a good book, I /need/ to know where it goes.
I'm content. I miss my friends and family, but the weather here is so beautiful. I'm young and I live near the mountains and the sea. This is where I'm meant to be.
