This whole year of 2018 sucks really bad. Its been the worst year. Beginning of 2018 after new years, my cousin was murdered by her husband. Soon as I heard her death it hurt me. A lot. She had problems in the past but I guess it runs in the family those who suffer depression. She has it. So do I. That ain't the only thing that's bad, my life working and with friends I felt like some outcast. Before everyone close gets angry or worried please try to understand. I had friends who I won't say there names. I respect them enough to consider them family. Some find my RP's to which we used to but now its like later not into it or my grammar has problems. I been RPing with details and most found me good at it. But some just...they try to have me understand how to type and what should be added like I am in an English class or something. More importantly honesty. Some wern't honest about it so I don't know if most of you are honest if my RP's are good. Heck I was picked on at work of my speech. I was treated like crap there guys. People don't understand about me plus what I go through and I know there are some out there who go through with there learning disability. But...what treat us different? I didn't ask to be born like this. Sometimes I wish I was normal. Maybe things would be different. But no...its not this reality and I hate it. I hate who I am. I have always been a non drinking, non smoking and never did drugs my whole life. But my depression for how I am being treated is getting me close to wanting to drink. Worse the hurricane nearly destroyed our rental house and we almost thought we were gonna be kicked out of the house.

Oh and to top it off I almost died! From a fucking Seizure!

I really hate living...being treated like shit. Its not helping me its making me feel more like shit. Typing this has put me in tears. I know I am about to be 27 in January and I should grow up about it. Everyone corrects me or becomes honest to me in a way that hurts my feelings.Its like I have to be perfect? And I mean PERFECT.

Happy New Years Everyone...