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My life is just a giant joke to someone
6 years ago
General
Everything is just some giant stupid uphill battle and even when I think I'm getting ahead I just get knocked back down again. A few years back I thought it was as bad as it was going to get, but it seems like things can somehow keep finding a way to get worse. I knew in some way or another things were going to be bad for me personally once I lost Naki, but things just seem to be worse than I could have predicted.
Well today was another one of those instances. As some know I got screwed over some months back on a promotion because I didn't need anymore stress and keeping an eye on Naki was precedence over everything else. So it was given to someone else that's just squandering it and I'm doing all their work without the extra pay. I was told earlier that my old store in Mechanicsburg was loosing the person that was in that same position. I know the guy that's in charge of that store now, "knew" him when he worked at a pet shop years back and worked with him for a time at that Petco before I moved, and he offered me the position. Which would be great, I could get the hell away from the store I'm working at now, get paid more and stop having to deal with all the white trash in this area. And there's the fucking problem, not counting in traffic it would be an hour drive at minimum there and back. They would also not be covering the amount of gas that I would be using to get there and back. Along with there is no feasible way that I'd be able to move back up there and be able to keep living. Hell with any of the extra money I would be making it would just end up going to gas anyways, so I wouldn't be gaining anything from it and in the long run it would cost me more to do it. And that's not just thinking about how my car would break down quicker with having to drive so much. So of course once again there's is a nice prize dangled in front of me, but at the same time there's no possible way of getting it without having to deal with a slew of problems.
This is why I have to laugh at people that say things and life get better over time. The only way that happens is if you're very lucky or have money. Hell it's part of the reason I kind of despise popularity. I've seen it time and time again where, even if the person doesn't deserve it, will be able to get back on their feet or get ahead just because they have a bunch of mindless followers. I still think back on years back there was a whole thing where two people were trying to get moved together so they didn't have to be apart anymore. All these strings were pulled and tons of money way raised for them to help out. Me on the other hand I barely got any help because regular people don't matter, I don't matter.
I just don't know how much longer I can keep going on or keep doing all of this. I've pretty much reached and passed my breaking point. It's just going to end up taking that one day and it'll be all over.
Well today was another one of those instances. As some know I got screwed over some months back on a promotion because I didn't need anymore stress and keeping an eye on Naki was precedence over everything else. So it was given to someone else that's just squandering it and I'm doing all their work without the extra pay. I was told earlier that my old store in Mechanicsburg was loosing the person that was in that same position. I know the guy that's in charge of that store now, "knew" him when he worked at a pet shop years back and worked with him for a time at that Petco before I moved, and he offered me the position. Which would be great, I could get the hell away from the store I'm working at now, get paid more and stop having to deal with all the white trash in this area. And there's the fucking problem, not counting in traffic it would be an hour drive at minimum there and back. They would also not be covering the amount of gas that I would be using to get there and back. Along with there is no feasible way that I'd be able to move back up there and be able to keep living. Hell with any of the extra money I would be making it would just end up going to gas anyways, so I wouldn't be gaining anything from it and in the long run it would cost me more to do it. And that's not just thinking about how my car would break down quicker with having to drive so much. So of course once again there's is a nice prize dangled in front of me, but at the same time there's no possible way of getting it without having to deal with a slew of problems.
This is why I have to laugh at people that say things and life get better over time. The only way that happens is if you're very lucky or have money. Hell it's part of the reason I kind of despise popularity. I've seen it time and time again where, even if the person doesn't deserve it, will be able to get back on their feet or get ahead just because they have a bunch of mindless followers. I still think back on years back there was a whole thing where two people were trying to get moved together so they didn't have to be apart anymore. All these strings were pulled and tons of money way raised for them to help out. Me on the other hand I barely got any help because regular people don't matter, I don't matter.
I just don't know how much longer I can keep going on or keep doing all of this. I've pretty much reached and passed my breaking point. It's just going to end up taking that one day and it'll be all over.
Any chance you could negotiate a bit more money for that position? even any extra .50 an hour could help out.
I would take it anyway, at least it gets you out of where you are, you might actually enjoy your work again and might lead to bigger things down the road.
The only other methods of making the commutes more affordable are: public transportation (they might have Express routes- here, it's $5 per trip and comes with bus/rail transfers IIRC, and might be less if bought in bulk or as 30-day passes), and bolstering your fuel economy. I doubt you could make your own fuel (even if you could, that's time you're losing to conserve money), but I do know there are fully and partially electrically propelled cars now If power where you live is very cheap like it is here (our water is skyhigh, though), you might/would be spending far less in general on fuel than you are now (I haven't researched this so I can't speak with any certainty), and if you're lucky, you'll spend for less on maintenance as well. You would just have to outlay a lot of money up front for the car.
People think i'm a joke and so is my life.