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Resolve, Pt. 2
5 years ago
What did the toilet say to the bathtub?
I need to move towards a place where old drama doesn't matter anymore. At its root, I encountered a few people, and our social convictions clashed. However many tyrades I go on, and however enraged those tyrades may be, objectively it all boils down to a difference in values. Even as I write this, my mind ventures towards a place where I can say, "Well, at least I did this." And that has to stop mattering, too. I am not involved in their lives. I never was. Unless your entire existence is limited to chat groups or websites, you have a life to deal with outside of that.
One of the reasons this is such a big deal to me is that I have nothing psychologically to fall back on. I'm changing that by writing a letter to my mom. I'm telling her that we need to talk heart to heart on a regular basis for the rest of our lives. You need to do that, too. If you and another person are not learning about one another and contributing to one another's growth, you are missing out. All the parties, online popularity, political sway and business success will not make up for that.
I get that a lot of people here have much worse upbringings than I did. In which case, you may have to do what Jean Valjean does and go from person to person to see whether or not they are interested and able to assist you. I myself an unable to help anyone through the internet; I need to develop confidence, deliberation, and aim in the relationships with the people I already know face-to-face first. I keep getting letters from a children's hospital I ran a race for, but anybody can throw money around. I think it's even more urgent to form bonds.
This might not go the way I expect. I might learn that many of the people I know aren't interested in growing or forming relationships. But I have to find out. If nothing else, I will spend my life looking for these kinds of bonds. I definitely know where not to look - again, this is not a complaint against the furry fandom, but against the idea that bonds can form over the internet. They literally can't. Information can be exchanged, but you have to see that person outside the perimeters of what the internet allows to form a genuine bond with them, or even see them for who they really are.
One of the reasons this is such a big deal to me is that I have nothing psychologically to fall back on. I'm changing that by writing a letter to my mom. I'm telling her that we need to talk heart to heart on a regular basis for the rest of our lives. You need to do that, too. If you and another person are not learning about one another and contributing to one another's growth, you are missing out. All the parties, online popularity, political sway and business success will not make up for that.
I get that a lot of people here have much worse upbringings than I did. In which case, you may have to do what Jean Valjean does and go from person to person to see whether or not they are interested and able to assist you. I myself an unable to help anyone through the internet; I need to develop confidence, deliberation, and aim in the relationships with the people I already know face-to-face first. I keep getting letters from a children's hospital I ran a race for, but anybody can throw money around. I think it's even more urgent to form bonds.
This might not go the way I expect. I might learn that many of the people I know aren't interested in growing or forming relationships. But I have to find out. If nothing else, I will spend my life looking for these kinds of bonds. I definitely know where not to look - again, this is not a complaint against the furry fandom, but against the idea that bonds can form over the internet. They literally can't. Information can be exchanged, but you have to see that person outside the perimeters of what the internet allows to form a genuine bond with them, or even see them for who they really are.
