Opening up
2 years ago
In office I was told that they manage 18 yo guys, since I have military id I'm concerned as a reserve guy, so have to go to some other office, back in my city it was all done in one place, i dunno why. So, still alive!
As to what I was really about to write here... I told my closest friend about my little side. And it's not just some friend. We've known each other for 6 or 7 years now. We met online and became very close, and even tried to dive into romantic relationships... but we just don't really match, so after a year decided that we should stay just very close friends (even you know... with benefits).
He told me some times that he really wants to be trans, but he's health may be to weak for that (or he was told so, and generally you know, it's russia, you won't meet many trans people here) and he want to be more of a milf mommy model.
So I uncovered to him that I'm into age play, and asked if he would like to try on been my mom... and I was crushed by his "No, no, sorry but I'm totally not into that!" Which was expected but Ive kinda let myself have too much belief into that possibility.
But yesterday after my exam (which i aceed) and military office visit he invited me to just chill with him at his place.
And so one thing happened... remember how in Shine when Star opened up to Elliy and she made a couple of baby jokes around her? Well, he just unexpectedly patted me on a head while we were in the kitchen and gave me a candy, saying "So, you aced your exam today, such a good girl you are, computer science it a very complicated field and I know you've done a lot to do it, so good girls deserve a treat! Keep it up for me, my baby girl, oki?" Holy cow, I was blown like... I can't say how much it is to get something like that in reality! That totally kicked me out of adult headspace. And he seemed to enjoy that, so maybe it's not all that bad for me? Maybe I can get into little headspace once in a while? Maybe he just thought it's all about hardcore stuff, I can survive without diapers you know, ofc it would've added so much, but it's more about feeling loved an cared about, not about shiting all over the place lol. Like, mb he thought I want him to buy me everything, and that want him to care about me all the time and I never want to go out of diapers or out of little headspace? I better explain concept of a playdate and that there is not wrong or right way to play, maybe he would enroll in it?
Also, there was a moment when he was worrying too much about what's on my plate, and suddenly said "Sorry, it's rude, I'm just acting like my overprotective mom, eat what you want, sorry" ofc I told that it's not rude and I really enjoyed this extra care. Now I wonder... so when parents act too protective and controlling and give no choice or freedom, people can get into care taker mindset and want to be in charge and look after someone in age play, and when parents don't care about kid, always say "learn to do it yourself", "You want that toy? Find some way to make your own money, get used to live", never spend time with them and pushing them to be independent as early as possible, they end up in baby mindset and want to be looked after, like I do now? Interesting...
And well... have to say I never knew how much it meant to me, that I was never treated for successes! I was only punished for failure. If I screw up, I can be sure mom will bring that up every time we have any arguments to prove that I'm to lazy and stupid and should just do as told, even if she told nonsense! But if it's some success... I get very quick short "well done", and that's it, we'll never here about this again, no present, no hugs, nothing, like "What do you expect!? It's normal, you've done what you was expected to do, it's default" is what I read from her tone and body language. And when my friend, as a baby joke, but Sincerely(!) told me that I'm good, that I've done a lot and I deserve a reward... fuck he just pressed a button I never knew I had!
I ran out of albums to throw, lol. But let's just keep the tradition of throwing some music after journals https://youtu.be/YoiUZZk6SwU
As to what I was really about to write here... I told my closest friend about my little side. And it's not just some friend. We've known each other for 6 or 7 years now. We met online and became very close, and even tried to dive into romantic relationships... but we just don't really match, so after a year decided that we should stay just very close friends (even you know... with benefits).
He told me some times that he really wants to be trans, but he's health may be to weak for that (or he was told so, and generally you know, it's russia, you won't meet many trans people here) and he want to be more of a milf mommy model.
So I uncovered to him that I'm into age play, and asked if he would like to try on been my mom... and I was crushed by his "No, no, sorry but I'm totally not into that!" Which was expected but Ive kinda let myself have too much belief into that possibility.
But yesterday after my exam (which i aceed) and military office visit he invited me to just chill with him at his place.
And so one thing happened... remember how in Shine when Star opened up to Elliy and she made a couple of baby jokes around her? Well, he just unexpectedly patted me on a head while we were in the kitchen and gave me a candy, saying "So, you aced your exam today, such a good girl you are, computer science it a very complicated field and I know you've done a lot to do it, so good girls deserve a treat! Keep it up for me, my baby girl, oki?" Holy cow, I was blown like... I can't say how much it is to get something like that in reality! That totally kicked me out of adult headspace. And he seemed to enjoy that, so maybe it's not all that bad for me? Maybe I can get into little headspace once in a while? Maybe he just thought it's all about hardcore stuff, I can survive without diapers you know, ofc it would've added so much, but it's more about feeling loved an cared about, not about shiting all over the place lol. Like, mb he thought I want him to buy me everything, and that want him to care about me all the time and I never want to go out of diapers or out of little headspace? I better explain concept of a playdate and that there is not wrong or right way to play, maybe he would enroll in it?
Also, there was a moment when he was worrying too much about what's on my plate, and suddenly said "Sorry, it's rude, I'm just acting like my overprotective mom, eat what you want, sorry" ofc I told that it's not rude and I really enjoyed this extra care. Now I wonder... so when parents act too protective and controlling and give no choice or freedom, people can get into care taker mindset and want to be in charge and look after someone in age play, and when parents don't care about kid, always say "learn to do it yourself", "You want that toy? Find some way to make your own money, get used to live", never spend time with them and pushing them to be independent as early as possible, they end up in baby mindset and want to be looked after, like I do now? Interesting...
And well... have to say I never knew how much it meant to me, that I was never treated for successes! I was only punished for failure. If I screw up, I can be sure mom will bring that up every time we have any arguments to prove that I'm to lazy and stupid and should just do as told, even if she told nonsense! But if it's some success... I get very quick short "well done", and that's it, we'll never here about this again, no present, no hugs, nothing, like "What do you expect!? It's normal, you've done what you was expected to do, it's default" is what I read from her tone and body language. And when my friend, as a baby joke, but Sincerely(!) told me that I'm good, that I've done a lot and I deserve a reward... fuck he just pressed a button I never knew I had!
I ran out of albums to throw, lol. But let's just keep the tradition of throwing some music after journals https://youtu.be/YoiUZZk6SwU